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Coming Out Advice?


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So I've been thinking about coming out sometime next week, and I have a few questions for you guys.

1. Is coming out on Facebook a bad idea? I've already told most of my closest friends and family, so no one's feelings would get hurt or anything. At this point, I just want everyone else to know, so my acquaintances and stuff will stop making assumptions.
2. If I DO come out on Facebook, what should I say? I feel like a lot of people don't really know what asexuality is (which is another big part of why I want to come out). I want to give a decent explanation of what all asexuality includes, but I don't want to post a 10-page status trying to explain what I believe to be a very simple concept. No one's going to read all that, you know?
3. Is it too early? I know this is probably a dumb question, but I've only really identified as ace for four months or so. But I've known about asexuality since about this time last year, and I've been thinking about it since then. And looking farther back, I can say with a good amount of certainty that I am asexual. I guess I just want reaffirmation that it's not too early, haha.

And just to clarify: I'm definitely not doing this out of any pressure from Asexuality Awareness Week or anything. I just feel like I'm ready and think this is a convenient opportunity.

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First off, love the icon :)

Okay, now onto your question. It's totally up to you whether you want to come out on Facebook or not, but if you do, expect a lot of people to not get it. Personally, I feel like coming out inevitably turns into Asexuality 101, and not being able to do that in person might be overwhelming/frustrating. But if you're alright with putting up with some ignorant Facebookers, you'll be alright. People will probably pull the "why are you telling all of us you don't want to have sex" card, even if they don't say it out loud, but coming out isn't really about them. It's about you. And that's not selfish. It's how it should be. So don't let how they might react stop you, as long as you're aware that it's a possibility.

Yeah, like I said before, people aren't going to necessarily understand. You make a good point with the awareness thing though. Whatever you decide to say, I would suggest adding some links, so that if they want to know more they can find that info easily, but they aren't overwhelmed by a huge block of text all at once.

As for whether or not it's too early, I'd say you're good. I've been identifying as ace for about four months or so as well, but I'm pretty confident in it. I think you're good to come out if that's what you want to do!

Good luck, friend :)

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I wish I had the guts to come out anywhere! I mean, a couple of close friends know I'm unique, but they don't really know the details. I guess I've never felt the need to share my sex life (or lack thereof) with the masses. I feel like me asking people to stop trying to set me up should be enough, though I can appreciate the education aspect of coming out. If you do it, let us know how it goes!

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thatotherguy57

First, it's nice to see someone else from my state. Nice to know there's more than 3 or 4 of us here.

Second, it's really up to you as to how, when, and if you come out. I'm only out to a few people, and really only plan on coming out to two more at the present. Some people have had success coming out on Facebook, others haven't. I've debated coming out on Facebook, but, being a very private person, I keep deciding it's not really anyone's business, and I don't do it. If you do come out on Facebook, there's going to be a LOT of questions, some will be intensely personal, and you are not obliged to answer anything you are not comfortable with. I would recommend watching through swankivy's channel on YouTube and get some responses ready; she does a great job of explaining what kinds of responses you're likely to get, and how to counter the negative comments. If you do it, be ready with responses to anything, positive, negative, and curious.

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My sister came out as Transgendered by posting a video of her telling everyone on facebook. Very brave. I advised against it but it actually worked out very well. I think the video as appose to just words works well because it humanises you. People have to look you right in the face and see you as a person with feelings and thought. Also It shows a little more effort has gone into it so it feels like it matters more so people are kinder.

It got a good response and I'd definately recommend it to anyone else. :)

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You absolutely by no means ever want to mention anything on social media. I know you must feel the urge to but when you try to get a job these kind of things will hurt you (even though it shouldn't) but it does.

My friend got turned down a job offer because he came out as gay on facebook. yes it is illegal but it doesn't prevent it

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Being Asexual isn't the same as being gay though, there's less sigma, people have less extreme views or if they do have unfair views there usually not the kind that would avoid you getting a job, people thinking its not really a thing or that you just came out of a bad break up and are over reacting is the sort of prejudice aces have to face, that and people thinking its just a phase. Its not the same issue as homosexuality.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I did it! Here's an update that I posted in the Celebration Time! forum, in case any of you were wondering.

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