Strange day

[Valja]

Hey guys! Something strange happened today at college, everybody from our group called 'why is the craw sending me

messages at 4 in the morning' started to reveal their orientation, so from our group of 6 girls only 2 are straight. Everything is new and I had the courage too to say I'm asexual, I was shaking when I told my best friend here who is sexual, but she totally is on my side. I don't even know what is happening, everything is going so fast, a few weeks ago no one knew.

I have to say that I'm not so relieved telling, still shaking and I feel fear thinking people won't accept me, maybe because it happened so fast, but I'm a sincere person. I told the girls I want to take baby steps from now on.

What do you think, I did wrong? it's messy in my head now

ps: I hope this is the right place to post, if not I apologize

[SithLord]

You're so brave! I haven't had the courage to come out for a year!

You're totally in the right. Don't know how you could be wrong...

[Zapstileon]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You are right to have come out, though perhaps you should take it at your own pace from now on so you are more comfortable with it. No need to force these things, I mean :) . Cake for your bravery?

[Valja]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You are right to have come out, though perhaps you should take it at your own pace from now on so you are more comfortable with it. No need to force these things, I mean :) . Cake for your bravery?

thanks for the cake, I don't even know how I did it, all the people here are so open and it's this friend who wants us to talk saying we'll feel more comfortable, but after this bravery I think I want to close in the shell.

[Zapstileon]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You are right to have come out, though perhaps you should take it at your own pace from now on so you are more comfortable with it. No need to force these things, I mean :) . Cake for your bravery?

thanks for the cake, I don't even know how I did it, all the people here are so open and it's this friend who wants us to talk saying we'll feel more comfortable, but after this bravery I think I want to close in the shell.

It takes time to be open about things, I think. And people are different. I know a lot of people on here have known for years that they are asexual and not felt like telling anyone. I believe that your friend is right, because talking about things is always a good way to strengthen a relationship, but even talking about how uncomfortable it makes you to talk about it, is in fact, talking about it, so you could just tell your friend that. :)

I say keep your shell, but open it a crack at a time to let in some daylight. You know how clams are? Shutting down to hide and protect their pearl? But they, too, open a little just to show that beautiful pearl and let the sun shine on it.

[Maxx1128]

Very very brave of you! You saw a good opportunity with people you liked in a situation where they were being open and sharing with each other, and you had the bravery to follow through. Definitely deserving of some .

Especially envious of you since I'm struggling to be open about my own demisexuality. I agree MoonWish on needing to take small steps to open yourself up, only ones you feel comfortable with. Every step will a little scary, yes, but it's never so much that you don't want to take that risk.

You need the courage to role the dice without quite knowing what the numbers will be. Even if they're bad, you have the courage to roll them again :D

[ranting ferret]

i'm still moving very slowly on telling others about my asexuality. only a few of the closest people in my life and who have been very close to me through other things.

that said, i can relate in that i have also experienced an "explosive sharing moment" and after that spent a long time mentally screaming "BACKPEDAL BACKPEDAL! CONTROL ALT DELETE! MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY!"

that was approximately what was repeating in my head. that, and vowing to never tell anyone anything ever again.

what was going on for me was that, truthfully, i desperately wanting to share my story with someone and had never been safe enough or bold enough to do so. when an opportunity kind of showed itself, i jumped headfirst and out came nearly everything. i eventually learned not just who to tell, but how to tell. for me that meant talking about my experiences to myself, writing them out and considering what's being told and why. and finding out that those sticking around will probably get to hear the whole story eventually and will even want to.

in the meanwhile, i would ask the people i erupted on that it was a lot for me to talk like that. for the future could they just wait for me to bring things up or i will let them know if/when i'm ready to talk further. it takes time to process for the listener as well as the speaker.

i wouldn't say what you did was bad at all. i'm glad it was a supportive experience even if you weren't ready to have it. now you can take your time and figure things out for yourself.

[Valja]

i'm still moving very slowly on telling others about my asexuality. only a few of the closest people in my life and who have been very close to me through other things.

that said, i can relate in that i have also experienced an "explosive sharing moment" and after that spent a long time mentally screaming "BACKPEDAL BACKPEDAL! CONTROL ALT DELETE! MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY!"

that was approximately what was repeating in my head. that, and vowing to never tell anyone anything ever again.

what was going on for me was that, truthfully, i desperately wanting to share my story with someone and had never been safe enough or bold enough to do so. when an opportunity kind of showed itself, i jumped headfirst and out came nearly everything. i eventually learned not just who to tell, but how to tell. for me that meant talking about my experiences to myself, writing them out and considering what's being told and why. and finding out that those sticking around will probably get to hear the whole story eventually and will even want to.

in the meanwhile, i would ask the people i erupted on that it was a lot for me to talk like that. for the future could they just wait for me to bring things up or i will let them know if/when i'm ready to talk further. it takes time to process for the listener as well as the speaker.

i wouldn't say what you did was bad at all. i'm glad it was a supportive experience even if you weren't ready to have it. now you can take your time and figure things out for yourself.

exactly like I feel now, where is the delete button, I don't think I'm gonna talk about this anymore. Now I am thinking :why did I do that?

[Valja]

I don't think you did anything wrong. You are right to have come out, though perhaps you should take it at your own pace from now on so you are more comfortable with it. No need to force these things, I mean :) . Cake for your bravery?

thanks for the cake, I don't even know how I did it, all the people here are so open and it's this friend who wants us to talk saying we'll feel more comfortable, but after this bravery I think I want to close in the shell.

It takes time to be open about things, I think. And people are different. I know a lot of people on here have known for years that they are asexual and not felt like telling anyone. I believe that your friend is right, because talking about things is always a good way to strengthen a relationship, but even talking about how uncomfortable it makes you to talk about it, is in fact, talking about it, so you could just tell your friend that. :)

I say keep your shell, but open it a crack at a time to let in some daylight. You know how clams are? Shutting down to hide and protect their pearl? But they, too, open a little just to show that beautiful pearl and let the sun shine on it.

such beautiful words, thank you!

[Blinkin]

Congratulations, that sounds 100% positive to me! I hope you and your group will continue more closely and open (in a happy way). It's hard to be open the first time. It can take a lot of energy, but eventually it will become more natural and it helps you to become more selfloving. :)

[Valja]

Congratulations, that sounds 100% positive to me! I hope you and your group will continue more closely and open (in a happy way). It's hard to be open the first time. It can take a lot of energy, but eventually it will become more natural and it helps you to become more selfloving. :)

Thanks! Everything is fine after all, I don't think my sexual friend believed what I told her, like always she said that I will find the right person, so I replied that I won't think about it anymore. I don't think I'm gonna tell how I feel since now , which is broken.

[Blinkin]

Aww, you'll be ok hun. Take some rest and the broken feelings will eventually get away.

If not: Aven is here to support you whenever you want. ^_^

[Valja]

Aww, you'll be ok hun. Take some rest and the broken feelings will eventually get away.

If not: Aven is here to support you whenever you want. ^_^

thank you very much! with everyday is getting better

[Theoryal]

I understand how you feel, sometimes even when it really is something I wanted to share if it happens when I don't feel prepared I always feel shaken when I feel like I've spoken too quickly, especially if it's something I wasn't even really sure I wanted to tell others. I tend to get stuck going over the conversation in my head over and over and thinking of what I could have said instead, though of course it doesn't really help to do that.

Since nothing terrible happened when you told them I think you probably don't have much to worry about anyway :) I sincerely hope you won't experience any unforeseen repercussions. And you certainly don't have to tell any other people right now if you're not feeling comfortable.