Am I gray? At my wits end...

[ellastokes]

1. I know I'm biromantic

2. I am sexually aroused by situations...like seeing people really aroused gives me a rush (but not the people themselves).

3. When I look at random porn people idk what I feel. Partially I'm just bored and uninterested...I'll pay attention to the background and note how amateur everything seems. But...there is something dully inside me that's gets fired up..well it does if I focus on the feelings. It's like a whisper in Greek...I hear it but I know what it's saying. Like...I think maybe it's telling me to push through and opposing feelings and touch them (in a figurative sense ya know...like if they were there and had their bodies touch them).

4. There are exceptions. Okay. When I REALLY like somebody...just flashes of their skins floors me. I don't know if I want to touch them. But...say...their stomachs send my hormones in all crazy directions...So where I'm indifferent to full nudes from random people....I can hardly stand the sight of even the bare hands of ppl I'm infatuated with.

So in summary...on certain occasions I can feel the feels.....but in none of them do I actually want to touch. BUT...I don't know if this is because I'm asexual or just averse to sex. Like...what if there is a part of me does want to be involved with them sexually..but just feels that it's wrong?

Please help...comment

(I've come up with a solution of sorts....go out and try boys and girls...and try to clear any sex aversion so I know that's not the problem...I still wanna know what you think..I need guidance)

[Ricecream-man]

I didn't really want to answer this when I first saw it only because sexuality can only really be understood and defined on your own.

But have you looked into demi? In regards to the reactions to people you're infatuated with?

As to the rest of it, I'm right there with you and I feel as if I'm a Gray for sure. Physicality and the thoughts of actual sex really don't do anything for me. Kind of nasty actually, but something about seeing others "in the moment" so to speak, definitely affects me.

I've been there done that and sex wasn't that fun for me. I mean there was a bit of a rush when I knew I did well, but that was a combination of puzzle solving satisfaction and knowing my partner was happy.

The actual act has never been fun for me.

So I wouldn't recommended going out and doing it for the sake of clearing aversion. Though if you feel the actual urge then power to you and go do you.

Hope that helped a little

[ellastokes]

Ricecream-man: Hope that helped a little.

Thank you for choosing to reply. It helps a lot. I really want to hear what people think.

With the infatuation thing...yea perhaps I'm demi, but I don't want to do anything sexual with them....at least those explicit thoughts don't jump into my mind - I'm kinda just dumbstruck and overwhelmed...idk why. Perhaps it is a sexual thing. Looking at them makes me feel like I'm.....being weird and perverted.

[Ricecream-man]

You're quite welcome.

I would definitely look into it more.

But definitely don't feel weird about it.

There's nothing wrong with being gray :)

[FireBendingAce]

Of course it's up to you to choose how to label yourself. More than likely whatever feels most comfortable to you as a label is what you should go with.

If I'm giving my input here, I think you definitely sound gray! You could also be demi possibly if you did want to look into that, because demisexual people don't always necessarily want to have sex with the people they are close enough to, even if they experience attraction towards that person! (I've know quite a few people like that).

Being gray is confusing. That's part of why it's called.. Being gray! Lol. I understand that can definitely be hard to sort through, especially when your experiences are confusing or contradictory.

You'll get there though! You'll figure it out! And even if you don't, that's okay too!

Finally, about trying out different situations and getting the sex-repulsion out of the way- please, so not force yourself to do anything you don't want to do. Experimenting is fine, but just keep in the back of your mind that it's not a necessity if anything makes you uncomfortable.