Antonnotna Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 I've always been pretty awful at talking to people in general, I'm very shy, suffer from anxiety problems, somewhat socially awkward, & an introvert. Even talking to people on-line I do struggle with. I feel like I'm going to be single forever :( . When I like someone I'm never able to tell them how I feel. Maybe it gives the impression that I have no interest in them when really I do. I would love to find the right person but I just don't think it's going to happen. Also when I do like someone I can fall for the pretty quickly. I have been on dating sites but have had no luck at all. I would be sending messages to someone and at first it would be promising, then it would either fizzle out or just suddenly stop. I don't know why this keeps happening. Very recently I was messaging a fellow ace on one of the very well known dating sites, who I got along very well with, we seemed to have so much in common, and I was very interested in getting to know this person, and it seemed like this person was very interested in getting to know me. Then as what generally happens took place again and the messages just suddenly stopped :( . I'm a bit down about this one especially as it took me ages to be confident enough to send the first message in the first place (partly because I wasn't sure if the person would be interested in me & partly because of reasons I've said above) and because the messages were so promising. I would have loved to continue messaging this person but obviously that's very unlikely to happen. (This person is still stuck in my mind though *sigh*) I have deleted my profile on the dating sites as I feel I'm wasting my time and nothing positive is going to come from them. I really don't want to become one of those lonely men who only ever have his dog for company :(. Sorry this is such a long post. I know it's a lot to read. Am I the only one who feels like this or is anyone else having or had problems like this. If anyone has any advice please let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Arte Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 When you want it bad enough you'll go get it Link to post Share on other sites
Batman's Ace Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 It's not always lack of interest that causes someone to stop messaging. I've got a couple conversations going on a popular dating site, but when I'm really having a rough time (and sometimes when I'm not) I disconnect from the internet, and I can easily leave messages for two weeks or more either by accident, or because I'm working through head stuff and really can't respond. In my experience, paused or stopped conversations on those sites are rarely personal. Just like a new in-person friendship fizzling out isn't usually personal. And it's harder online. But if this is bugging you, I can understand leaving the sites. I rarely get on my FB anymore, because it seems like nobody wants to talk to me, and it's depressing. Better to stop doing something that makes you feel that much worse. The best advice I can offer is, for right now, don't look for a partner, don't look for new friends, just look for opportunities to meet people. I go to a Wednesday thing that includes dinner, and I sit somewhere different every time, and people insist on talking to me. Even when I don't want to talk much, I've officially met people. After several years, I'm starting to remember a few names and learning how to carry on conversations. So, maybe you could find a meetup group, or go to a farmer's market, or go to a particular coffee shop on a particular weekly schedule, or something. Something regular. It's practice being around a group of people, and personally I only start to relax when I'm familiar with the physical place, so consistency is the main thing. I'm still not great at this myself, so maybe I shouldn't be talking. Just, this is kind of what I'm trying, and I seem to be doing a little better. Good luck. :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Antonnotna Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 It's not always lack of interest that causes someone to stop messaging. I've got a couple conversations going on a popular dating site, but when I'm really having a rough time (and sometimes when I'm not) I disconnect from the internet, and I can easily leave messages for two weeks or more either by accident, or because I'm working through head stuff and really can't respond. In my experience, paused or stopped conversations on those sites are rarely personal. Just like a new in-person friendship fizzling out isn't usually personal. And it's harder online. But if this is bugging you, I can understand leaving the sites. I rarely get on my FB anymore, because it seems like nobody wants to talk to me, and it's depressing. Better to stop doing something that makes you feel that much worse. The best advice I can offer is, for right now, don't look for a partner, don't look for new friends, just look for opportunities to meet people. I go to a Wednesday thing that includes dinner, and I sit somewhere different every time, and people insist on talking to me. Even when I don't want to talk much, I've officially met people. After several years, I'm starting to remember a few names and learning how to carry on conversations. So, maybe you could find a meetup group, or go to a farmer's market, or go to a particular coffee shop on a particular weekly schedule, or something. Something regular. It's practice being around a group of people, and personally I only start to relax when I'm familiar with the physical place, so consistency is the main thing. I'm still not great at this myself, so maybe I shouldn't be talking. Just, this is kind of what I'm trying, and I seem to be doing a little better. Good luck. :cake: Thank's. I always assume it's because of me or a lack of interest in me that messages stop. Even when I'm going through a rough patch or just very busy I have almost always tried and make time to respond. I can understand why people won't respond when they are going through a rough patch though or are really busy. Maybe I should look to try and just meet and talk to new people, and make some new friends, even though I'll struggle with it a bit. I don't use Facebook anymore either for the same reason. The only social network/ media site I use at the moment is Pinterest :) . Thank you for the reply & advice. Link to post Share on other sites
mari Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 "Even when I'm going through a rough patch or just very busy I have almost always tried and make time to respond" Same here, we often wait from others what we would do. Link to post Share on other sites
PatheticGirl Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Hey, contact the person again. he might have got busy in other stuff. give him benefit of doubt. as such u aren't happy, so at least feel you tried your best Link to post Share on other sites
Antonnotna Posted November 8, 2014 Author Share Posted November 8, 2014 Hey, contact the person again. he might have got busy in other stuff. give him benefit of doubt. as such u aren't happy, so at least feel you tried your best Thanks for the reply :) It was actually a her (I'm heteroromantic). I haven't tried to contact her again. I've decided to just forget about the person and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.