Amokima Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Hey y'all. A few weeks ago I was on an Avenger fanfic-search site and there was an entry from someone looking for asexual Avenger fics. I thought, ‘oh, that looks interesting.’ So I clicked on a link for one of the stories someone had given & in the story intro/summery the author had explained a bit about themselves as an asexual. ‘Hey, that sounds like me!’ I googled a few things, watched a few vids, read those fanfics, found the AVEN website and ‘HOLY CRAP, I’m not the only one like this, there are others!’ I was stunned, I was excited, I was in research mode…(scary, very scary). I have since read a whole heap more articles, gotten a bit sick of YouTube (love Swankivy’s vids), giddily and proudly found a plain black ring in ‘Off Ya Tree’, lurked around the AVEN forums and have decided it’s about time to say G’day. G’day. I am a 35 yr old tomboy, Christian, aromantic asexual. There was never any big discovery or identity crisis or anything like that. I was just never interested in sex or relationships and so I never bothered with it all. I’ve never cared that I was different to other people (it wasn’t the only thing that made me different), even in school; never gave a damn about peer pressure. Not that there was a lot anyway, most people at school accepted me for who I was, probably because even though I was shy I was never ashamed of who I was as a person & let people know that. Also, none of the kids at any of my schools, were those bitchy, cliquey, judging, bully types you see on American TV/movies. I had no idea there were others like me out there that wasn’t a result of a trauma or something and for myself, I just thought I didn’t emotionally mature properly. Not that I cared, I’m quite happy with the way I am on this issue, always have been & haven’t had any desire whatsoever to change it. Other than a couple of times in fantasy novels, I’d never encountered the term asexual. Any time the topic of boyfriends, etc came up I’d just tell people that I’m just not interested in guys or girls ‘in that way’ or romantically and I’d always classified my orientation as hetro (just easier, plus I wasn’t gay or bi) or bi-non curious. Sometimes I find peoples reactions to those declarations funny, but I do get quite tired of those just give me a smirking, knowing look and tell me ‘you’ll change your mind someday’, or ‘one of these days, some guy will come along & sweep you off your feet’ or try & convince me of why I should be wanting these things. I never consciously realized until I researched asexuality that sexual attraction was an actual physical thing & different from the emotional side of attraction. I found that quiet weird actually. I then freaked myself out even more than I already was over the fact that my little sister is married (7 years) and having sex by the realization that my little sister is having these reactions, her damn husband is having these reaction at her, and that this is the reason I now have a 4 month old nephew! It gave me the desire to go out & buy myself a brand new sturdy shovel! And if that wasn’t bad enough, I hit me that my little brother is getting married in 2 weeks, and OMG I have to stop thinking now because I’m having a major freak out here…….. Link to post Share on other sites
Chewy Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 G'day. I'm 37 and from Brisvegas many years ago. I'm just like you! Welcome.. Have some cake Link to post Share on other sites
truthisbest7 Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Welcome!!!!! And relax! :) everything is fine.......... you are here now! Peace my friend. Look around and take your time.......there r many subjects and many new friends waiting here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Welcome to AVEN. I'm glad you finally found us. Yeah, jus like you I figured out about asexuality later in life, it's great that they gave a name to how I feel about certain things, but like you I am perfectly happy as I am. I hope you have a chance to meet all the awesome people on the site. Have a beautiful day. Link to post Share on other sites
Quinoa Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Welcome! Have some cake! I totally know what you mean about not realizing that sexual attraction was a thing. It took me awhile to realize that. Also, as much as I know that I'm aro ace and most people aren't, it still surprises me when others say or do something that reminds me of it if I've known them for awhile. This is especially true with my brother. One time, he said something about his first kiss and described it as "hot." I mean, he's in his mid 20s, so of course he's had a first kiss, but that had never occurred to me, and it certainly didn't occur to me that that would be "hot"! Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Hi and welcome to AVEN! I'm glad you've been fine all this time...some people on here aren't so fortunate. Thanks for the great intro., this an awesome site and I hope you love being a member! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Amokima Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Thanks for the welcome guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Hedgie Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Welcome to AVEN! Thanks for sharing your story with us! : ) You're not alone...so glad that you've discovered the term asexuality and how it relates to you! I hope you enjoy it here! Link to post Share on other sites
succulent Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Welcome! I'm also a newbie here, and completely Marvel-obsessed. I've always imagined Steve Rogers as asexual ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hey, welcome to AVEN. I hope you read any fic recs from that question that sparked all this, as they sound very interesting. Shovel to hit the husband with? Just don't bury him in your own back yard. Link to post Share on other sites
Amokima Posted October 21, 2014 Author Share Posted October 21, 2014 Here's the link for the fics: http://avengers-search.livejournal.com/446006.html Link to post Share on other sites
sweetsometimes Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Welcome!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ke5025 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hello, and welcome. I'm new too, but like you decided it is time to start posting. I realated to what you said about not realising you were different. I always just thought everyone was a bit like me, and then when I got to understand how different asexuality is I stopped worrying that I didn't want sex. Hope you, and I, enjoy this forum :) Kevin. Link to post Share on other sites
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