What is "cuddling" really?

[binary suns]

[argar]

I've always kind of picture it as watching a movie or something while holding each other.

Maybe reading a story out loud while holding each other.

You know, I have no idea, I've never cuddled, but that is kind of what I picture.

[defaultuser]

I always thought, that cuddling is.. hm.. more personal and romantisized version of hugging or something like that.

lol, probably I'm completely wrong.

[FindingMe94]

For me cuddling is just an extra long hug in a comfortable position. And I don't need a romantic partner for cuddling although I'd like one someday. I usually cuddle with my brother when he's about to go to bed and we talk about books and movies while we cuddle for a few minutes and then I get sick of it and leave. Lol I enjoy cuddling for a good 5-10 minutes and then it's boring.

[romantic-woman]

I think that with this i mean a long- tight hug in a affectionate manner

But i don't know if for example sexuals give the same definition. Maybe we see it as just a nice hug and not a foreplay as others and that was the reason that others who cuddled with you thought that it was something else.

[I am the Doctor]

I've always seen cuddling in pretty much the same light as hugging, though in my case I like the idea of it, part of me would love to hug friends when we meet but it just seems so awkward and uncomfortable I usually just stand there while they do it and get it over with (unless I can avoid it)

[Chardog]

Sitting on the couch next to someone, touching in some way that incites warm fuzzies. Or spooning. Or falling asleep in each other's arms. Or even just standing next to each other with your arms around each other. You can talk or be quiet. Those would be some cuddling examples for me.

[My alias]

There isn't really a way to describe cuddling i feel like it is a notion that you create over time. To me cuddling is like spooning and hugging and romantic (but not necessarily sexual) touching while laying on the couch watching movies. of course i only cuddle with people im involved with.

[Cassara]

what is cuddling? what is an evening of cuddling? do you like, talk and stuff? or just like, touch? or is it a passive thing, tat you just sorta lay down with each other, get in some sort of comfortable position, and relax? *so confused*

Well, my own personal definition of cuddling is sitting/laying next to each other with more than the average amount of your body touching the other person.

My two best cuddle partners are both platonic (well, the one is, I'm still confused as to if the other likes me or not, but he hasn't remotely tried anything like kissing, so ... platonic for now). Mostly we cuddle when we're talking or watching movies or playing video games. Like, we'll sit on the couch side by side so our arms and sides are touching, and I might put my head on their shoulder and we'll just watch a movie like that, or one person will sit normally and the other will stretch their legs out along the couch over top of them (tracing patterns on the other person's arms or legs is optional, but usually feels really nice )

Cuddling, when it's done right and both people trust each other, is kind of like you described, just sort of being comfortable being extremely close to another person. It's probably my favourite thing in the world because it's such a nice feeling of safety and comfort with another human being at your side. It's nice enough that you don't even have to do anything but exist there, but talking or watching a movie or something is really nice, too ^_^

[0rei]

Sitting on the couch next to someone, touching in some way that incites warm fuzzies. Or spooning. Or falling asleep in each other's arms. Or even just standing next to each other with your arms around each other. You can talk or be quiet. Those would be some cuddling examples for me.

This. I want a cuddle buddy so badly. But sexuals and romantics near me be damned >:/

[mercian85]

I had my first hug last week and its hard to describe. All I know is I liked it and it made me feel happy, even though the person who hugged me was a stranger and not a friend.

I imagine a cuddle is just like that, just longer. I imagine cuddling with a friend or someone you really trust is a lot better. Hopefully one day I will find out.

[Elderberry]

Cuddling for me is when I am completely comfortable with the other person (ie. no threat of sexual advances) and we embrace eachother, touch noses, maybe nuzzle eachothers' cheeks. Sometimes we talk about our day, what we're thinking about, our hopes and dreams--sometimes we don't say anything at all. It's warm and soft and very relaxing. Usually when I think of cuddling, I think of something that happens while laying down. Not sure what I'd call putting my arm around my husband and putting my head on his shoulder. Maybe it's cuddling, too! I don't think there's a hard-and-fast definition that works for everyone, though.

[ranting ferret]

yeah, cuddle definitely requires a certain comfort level with the other person...and both of you are cool with being physically close. one of my friends and i are very cuddly with each other, but not really with anyone else (especially for her).

anywho, i'll agree with the extended hug concept, spooning could be like a "sub-genre" of cuddling, unless i'm falling asleep. an arm around someone, sitting really close together (awkwardly close, perhaps?) leaning on someone, or each other. i very rarely just cuddle, something else will be going on: watching a show or something usually. low-key versions of cuddles (sitting close) while playing a game, etc.

mainly it involves, totally non-sexual human contact that can be measured in minutes...and no nuzzling!

[AspieAce]

I haven't actually had a cuddle before I have had a quick hug because my family don't like hugs unlike me, I kind of imagine sitting watching a movie with an asexual boyfriend and him having his arm around me and me resting my head on his chest... That would be perfect to me for no other reason than him wanting to be close to me not because he fancies me sexually but because he can't bear to be apart from me... shame it doesn't exist

[ranting ferret]

I haven't actually had a cuddle before I have had a quick hug because my family don't like hugs unlike me, I kind of imagine sitting watching a movie with an asexual boyfriend and him having his arm around me and me resting my head on his chest... That would be perfect to me for no other reason than him wanting to be close to me not because he fancies me sexually but because he can't bear to be apart from me... shame it doesn't exist

you know how people talk about sexual fantasies?

well, i don't really understand what that means.

but the kind of scene you described is something i have let myself daydream about many times. often replace the movie with huge fireplace....sometimes s'mores. :P

[ranting ferret]

also, consider this option:

http://www.robot-hugs.com/bedtime-story-3/

[Schrecken]

In my limited experience it means getting in a comfortable place (like a bed, sofa, etc) and laying down and getting as close as you can to your partner and having as much physical contact as you can and staying that way for a long while. We just like to talk, laying there in the dark or with only a dim light on, in a quiet room. For us there is often some sexual touching (and conversation), though that's the way the relationship seems to be heading, but we have yet to have sex. But as said some watch tv or movies, and some do sexual things and it can lead to sex (especially for sexuals), or it can be 100% platonic.

[Theoryal]

Cuddling is about feeling close and safe and comfortable with someone. Cuddling is communicating through gentle touch and prolonged proximity that you care about someone, that you like being with them, that you appreciate their presence, that you recognize their value.

I'll list some examples of how I 'cuddle' with my friends and family. None of this needs to be driven by or lead into sexual interest. It's simply a desire to be close and comfortable with someone, to communicate reassurance of the bond you share whether it's the love of friends, or family, or a romantic partner. Usually cuddling happens when we are watching something or reading together on the couch, or when we're just talking together, or when we're waiting around for some reason and since we're standing here together anyways we might as well be hugging since we're not doing anything else.

1. watching movies is a prime time to cuddle. We'll sit close together and one of us will put their arm up on the back of the sofa or around the other person so that they can scoot closer and rest their head on the other person's shoulder, and we'll just relax close together like that while watching the movie and maybe after it's done we'll continue sitting and talking about things casually.

2. sometimes I'll give someone a shoulder massage or play with their hair, and then when i'm done and they're relaxed they lean back against me and we just sit with my arms round their shoulders and my head resting on theirs or with our cheeks together, a nice long hug. If they're sitting on the floor in front of me while I'm in a chair then sometimes I'll give them a little squeeze with my knees too, or they may lean back with their head in my lap and nap or talk.

3. when out and about we may each put an arm round the other person and walk with our sides glued together, trying to sync our steps and basically act as one person. It's fun to be a 'siamese twin' with a friend. If it's cold we may even try to squish together inside a large coat if it'll work. This gives a real sense of camaraderie and cooperation.

4. someone may be laying on the floor reading or drawing or just fiddling with the grass or something and I'd come lay right next to them bumping shoulders and hips, or putting one arm over their back, and just talk or watch them for a little bit, just enjoying a friendly quiet closeness. Or it could turn into an opportunity for a tickle fight or they might roll onto their back and i could rest my head next to theirs and we might just watch the clouds, or talk about random things.

5. i may want to show something to someone on my computer, so I'd call them over and then pull them into my lap so they can see the screen and sit with my arms around them while they look at it, and then maybe eventually squish to the side so they can join me wedged into the chair while we talk, or while they find something else to show me in turn.

6. standing in line for something we may lean on each-other in various ways to relieve our tired legs and feet. Or I may sit down on something and then tug them closer and tuck my head under their arm with my arm round their hip or something and just stand there waiting enjoying the togetherness.

7. if someone is doing something with their hands, i might come up behind them and wrap my arms round their waist and peer over their shoulder when I ask what they're up to, and may hang around like that for a few minutes just to provide that sense of positive connection.

It only becomes sexual when you touch close to genitals (or boobs) in a stimulating sort of way or specifically start saying or doing suggestive things, - when you have that sort of light in your eye. I find that even kissing can just be sweet and cuddly, not necessarily sexual, just enjoying being close, or just a quick little wordless 'I love you' on someone's cheek or arm or whatever part of them is within easy reach.

Also I reccomend the 'Hug Therapy' book by Kathleen Keating and 'The Cuddle Sutra' by Rob Grader they're cute books with lots of ideas on how to enjoy closeness together.

[insomniacat]

My definition of cuddling is very similar to asexy's. Getting very physically close to each other and just holding on for as long as you want. Many people need hugs and small touches to feel good, and cuddling is like giving yourself a huge dose of feel-good.

Sometimes, cuddling can become a time when you can speak with someone you're close to for several hours, which can lead to you having a better understanding of each other. For me, that's led to an incredible trust of my closest friend, and I have a history of trust issues (and not really having close friends). I've enjoyed cuddling while being sillent for hours- and also while yelling about tv shows. Other times, when you need emotional support or even just a hug, cuddling can be a more thourough way to soothe you because it's basically just a really long hug.

A lot of it is about being very physically and emotionally intimate, and my cuddling sessions with my best friend have lasted for hours, often with us falling asleep together and waking up to cuddle more. And cuddling never has led to sexual things for me (usually it's been the other way around for me), nor have i wanted it to go to a sexual place. Cuddling is just a fantastic way to get closer to friends and partners, because it's just about enjoying the other person's presence without expectation.

[Skri]

For me cuddling is the most intimate way to be near to someone. It's either a touch, a hug, a kiss, but it can also be just a look, or that particular way to stand next to each other.

It's the deepest way to show love to someone (being a friend, a relative, a lover, whatever), as much important as completely open my heart to that person.

However I do think there are different levels of cuddling, in the same way as there are different levels of love; for this reason how I cuddle with someone is absolutely unique and in no way replicable. or this reason, with someone I just speak, and with another person I can stop holding hands.