ashpenaz Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I experience sexual attraction in the early stages of a relationship, but it fades away as I get to know the person. For instance, I will feel a sexual rush the first time I see a guy across the room, and that will cause me to pursue the relationship. After a few conversations, the sexual feelings start to go away, and they're usually completely gone after we've either established a relationship or have both moved on to something else. Once the sexual feelings are gone, the idea of sex with the guy becomes unthinkable--sort of "What was I thinking?" I simply can't imagine having those early sexual feelings for the guy. Is this asexuality? It's sort of graysexual--there's sexual attraction, but it fades. A "fadesexual?" What do you call someone like me who experiences temporary sexual attraction? I'm over 50 years old and I've never had sex, but I've had many friendships which started out with sexual feelings on my part but which then faded into "normal" friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 So the opposite of Demisexual? There isn't a word for it yet but I think there should be. I've seen posts on here that were similar to this. Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I haven't seen a better fitting term for this that lithosexual (lithsexual?) which doesn't account for the disapperance of feelings. Is there any term you've ever thought to call it? Link to post Share on other sites
Archon Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 That sounds a lot like lithsexuality to me. I've heard from a lot of lithsexuals around here who said they were sexually attracted to someone from afar but lost all interest when their feelings were reciprocated. Since you said the sexual feelings go away after entering a relationship with someone, you might be lithsexual (which falls under the asexual term). Your description doesn't seem to me to fit gray-asexual, since it sounds like you've never gotten to the point where your attraction coincided with actual desire. A gray-sexual would've reached that point once or twice. Of course, you know a lot more about you than I do, so it's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
ashpenaz Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 I'm thinking of calling it "imedsexual" which is the opposite of demisexual. :) It's weird--before I get to know the person, I can have sexual fantasies, but as I get to know him, suddenly those are "ick." I'm glad asexuality is more of a spectrum than a definite place--that helps me sort things out. Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Moved to The Grey Area, Sex and Related Discussions forum. Byanyothername Asexual Q&A Mod Link to post Share on other sites
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