Kels Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I love cuddles!!!! It would have to be with someone I know well or am comfortable with because don't want it to turn sexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fire & Rain Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Would cuddle the hell out of my squishes :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LenaLuthor Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I would love to cuddle with someone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LordCameron Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I basically need cuddles. But I am also quite shy about touching people and them touching me. :p Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Asexy Void Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I don't really know, actually. xD I love cuddling pets, but people... I might just have to be very comfortable with them first. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre/Ex/Machina Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Im very picky about who I cuddle with, but when I do, I savor it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I would love to cuddle with a boyfriend. I don't cuddle with friends. I think it does feel like how sex would to a sexual person. I really enjoy the feeling. I only have stuffed animals to cuddle with lol. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starry Night Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I love cuddling:) Obviously not with just anybody, but holding someone (or something) close me gives me a sense of safety and security. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Schrecken Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I used to shudder at the thought of it (well, cuddling with anything that has less than 4 legs and walks on two legs), but as of late I've gotten to where I really enjoy it a lot. I met this guy in the kink scene this summer and cuddling is one of his favorite things to do, especially after playing. It felt really weird and alien at first (I was game to try it since this guy totally respects my asexuality and my boundaries, even though he isn't asexual), and I was afraid he might try something, but once I got used to it and figured out he wasn't going to put his hands (or any other body part) where I didn't want them to go, I have come to really like it. I have always wanted someone to cuddle with, but like many "a"s I have always feared it would automatically lead to something sexual (well, OK, with this guy I did engage in something sexual last night, but the feeling was mutual and I was alright with it) and I would have a hard time stopping the person (or worse, get assaulted). So this is the first time I've done any cuddling with anyone as an adult, and I'm liking it quite a lot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DivinePrince Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 (edited) Seems like a lot of people are afraid of how it might turn sexual... I don't think that's normal at all. A gay person shouldnt be afraid of a straight person hitting on them. Just tell them firmly you have boundaries. It's stuff people are syaing here that's making me start to doubt everyone............... there sould be NO fear. Fear is a sign that something is wrong. {redacted} I feel like they have psychological issues that need treatment. Asexuality does not involve fear. Sexuality does not involve fear. If there is fear, then something is wrong. {redacted} I'm genuinely concerned with some of you people now. Edited October 18, 2014 by byanyothername Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Please do not make judgments on other users, especially on the validity of their asexuality. From a personal standpoint, situations are not always so clear cut that fear would never enter the equation. To speak of it in absolutes makes quite a number of assumptions, and that can lead to others feeling invalidated or dismissed. Asexual Q&A Mod Byanyothername Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DivinePrince Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Well excuse me for knowing about basic psychology. I do not care about your authority. if you want to ban me or remove my posts then go ahead. But I will NOT tolerate fake people adopting very very unhealthy views about love and relationships. I will NOT tolerate lies and unhealthy behaviour. I will NOT tolerate people slandering and vandalising my Sexuality with hideous, unhealthy, warped views. And I will stand up for what I know is right- even if I stand alone. Even if I have to jump a water-fall to get there. Good day to you. I hope I never see you again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Some people fear that it can lead into sexual things because... well, that's been their personal experience in the matter. What gives you any right to come here and tell them they have "unhealthy views" or are outright lying or fake? Nobody's even accusing you of anything. Relax. Not everything is about you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ashmedai Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Although I've never had more than a hug, a cuddle is one of few things that I wouldn't mind, and don't detest. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shattered-Glass Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I both love cuddling and hate it because of my fear of touch caused by social anxiety. I really want to cuddle people, but I could only do it with somebody I really trusted. I'd like to cuddle my crush (don't have one at the moment) on the couch while watching a movie or something. It'd be even better if it was a cold night. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mayonasium Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I've never really enjoyed being touched. My parents used to get mad at me for struggling when I got hugged or flat-out running away when they tried to kiss me. Now that I'm an adult, I can tolerate being hugged but it doesn't mean that I like it at all. Makes me glad I live in a country where physical touch isn't as accepted. Although it just makes me that much more stand-offish with my American friends over here. I try to put on a smile when it happens but one of my friends who knows how much I hate being touched will often stifle laughs when she sees people hugging me or patting me on the shoulder and I'm trying too hard not to grimace. That said, if I were to ever find someone that I truly cared for... I think cuddling would be something I could compromise on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elderberry Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 It took me a year into my relationship (after 1.5 years of friendship) to get comfortable enough to cuddle. Once I had gotten over the fact that someone was invading my personal bubble, it was quite nice. I like cuddling quite a lot now, though I still don't seek it out necessarily. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Greyt Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I avoid it like the plague and cringe whenever I'm forced to hug anyone... But people still insist on doing it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGryph Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yeah I gotta say, at least in my experience, its not so much of a fear as it is in part my social anxiety inhibiting my ability to trust others. I'm not fearful that they'll breech on the consent I gave them to cuddle with me, but subconsciously I might be anxious that they would want to take things further and that they weren't enjoying the experience as much as I might be. I hope my views lend you some clarity, DivinePrince! :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal6 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I can't explain it, but I absolutely love cuddling... I don't know, maybe for me, it is like a sexual persons sex? I love it so much that i had to buy a large body pillow to wrap myself around so I could sleep at night. I'm not if sure why such a huge desire to cuddle with people is normal for most asexuals so tell me what you think/your stance of cuddling! :3 I am quite sex repulsed (can't stand thinking of it, or talking about it, or doing anything remotely similar to it including touching sexual organs of any kind) but I am very cuddly with my bf. So I'm guessing enjoying cuddling without anything else is probably fairly normal for aces. : P I seem to have a romance repulsed friend (if that's a thing?) though cause he can't even stand watching me hug or like, act at all cuddly in anyway. So that's interesting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That Kid U Know Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I enjoy cuddling, leaning on or putting my head on my friends, but I don't do it as often as I like because they are all sexual and sometimes they take it the wrong way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tortecat Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I love the idea of cuddling! However, the most actual "cuddling" I've ever done would be leaning on the other person's shoulder, or sitting close enough so our sides are touching. And even then, I get kind of tense. It's not because I'm uncomfortable, I'm just afraid of hurting them if I relax too much, or that I'll seem too cuddly for their liking. Which... doesn't make much sense, probably, but that's how it is. I tend to be very cautious when I'm unsure about boundaries. Or even when I am sure. Hmm. A couple of my online friends and I talk about cuddling when we eventually meet, though, so that's nice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cassara Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Cuddling is honestly the best feeling, it makes me feel safe and wanted. I've never had any awkward cuddling-turns-into-sexual-stuff moments so for me it's always been the best expression of platonic love :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Theoryal Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I loooooove cuddling sooooo much!!!! I feel like I can never get enough :D I have a small personal space zone, and generally touch makes me feel safe, comfortable, and even acts like a little energy boost for me. I always long to hold my friends in my arms, to curl up together on the couch, to play with their hair, to lean on their shoulder, to walk with our arms round each-other's waists, to just feel free to be touching all the time in almost any way - except I do not like people touching my crotch, just No. I guess boobs are okay if it just happens in a hug or whatever, but not if they're trying to be all sexual about it. *shudder* I do have some friends that are sometimes up for cuddling, but often I have to try and satisfy myself by just cuddling with pillows and blankets and plushies, which are nice, but not really the same. To me a perfect evening of cuddling would probably involve watching a movie or maybe reading together or listening to music while being snuggled up on a cozy couch. I love laying on someone with my head on their chest, or the other way around. Also someone sitting on the floor in front of me so I can massage their shoulders or play with their hair and then after they can just lean back against me with my arms and legs around them and I can rest my head on top of theirs. Sometimes I enjoy sitting on the floor with my head resting in someone's lap and my arms round their waist while we talk. I'm not sure I can say that cuddles are quiiite like sex for me just because they don't have the same exclusive-close-connection-and-vulnerability associated with them (not that everyone sees sex that way, but I do). I can cuddle with people I don't know that well as long as they seem nice and won't take it wrong. But as far as being what I crave all the time and what gives me the most pleasure and reaffirms my relationships, then yes cuddling is rather the equivalent of sex. The other thing that's like that for me is that delicious shivery feeling when someone traces their fingers over my back or plays with my hair - I think it's called ASMR or frisson (I wonder how many asexuals find that kind of experience to be like a substitute for other people's enjoyment of sex?) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deleted_account Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hate it. I can only do it with someone I'm sexually intimate with, otherwise it's too much physical close-ness and it gets on my nerves. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
seelieAce Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I LOVE cuddling! Can't get enough! I cuddle with my friends (If they're cool with it), my parents, my moirail, it's the way I bond with people and show those I care about that I care about them. I'm never happier than when I'm in one giant cuddle with my friends. One of my happiest memories is being in one giant cuddle pile with my friends watching the Princess Bride, with all of us quoting everything! I have one person I do most of my cuddling with, but I'm not really picky, my main concern is if they are ok with it and that they know I really don't want anything else other than cuddles. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
b88 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I love cuddles, I don't get them enough. There aren't many people I feel comfortable enough to be cuddly with tbh. Hugs don't make me feel anything and seem kinda pointless to me, but cuddling for a while is really nice. I feel safe and sheltered and like nothing can hurt me :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
imgone Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I like hugs, but outside of a romantic context I'm not too into cuddles unless I'm sad. It's sort of something I'll put up with for my friends. That sounds a little shallow but that's the way it is haha. Even in a romantic context sometimes I'll get bored if there's no talking/light kisses for a while, or if there isn't a movie on. It depends on a lot of things. I love being held and I love the feeling of another person's skin (again, in a romantic context, otherwise I get a little uncomfortable) buuuut I have ADD, cuddling is very stationary, and it's difficult for my head to be in it for a long period of time if nothing is happening, even if I'm ridiculously comfortable. I want SO BADLY to be able to fall asleep in my guy's arms but he falls asleep so quickly and with ADD it can take me anywhere up to a couple hours to conk out, myself, and I just get so fidgety after a while. I often wake up early too. It really stinks. But sleepy cuddles in the morning when you both just wake up = the best. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vivaldi Ives Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I love hugs with the right people! I haven't really done any touching/cuddling beyond hugs, but I would love to give it a try with the right person/people. It's one of those things where I don't think I can know if I like it til I try it. As for cuddling in bed...not sure about that. I move around a lot in my sleep and sometimes my pajamas even come partway off in my sleep, so that could be a problem. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Breathing.... Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'd love to like cuddling and hugging. My friends seem to, but there are only a few people I tolerate it with and it has taken years for me to be able to do so. I dont worry that my friends (who I allow to hug me) will make it a sexual thing, I'm more inclined to worry that I dont understand the boundries and that, against the odds, I will make it somehow sexual. I get a bit paranoid as my ability to read social cues isnt great. Thankfully I'm pretty sure with my best frend this is unlikely, so often a hug from them can be nice. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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