Sex in dreams?

[Amy Ghost]

Today I had really weird dreams. They were full of sex. Most of it was me and some other girl using some toy on me several times. I never before had such intense dreams. I don't get where did they come from. I felt quite uncomfortable. I wished I had my usual nightmares. People getting hurt and death. I really did.

But what does this mean? Can it happen, or does that make me something else than asexual as I thought I was?

[Guest]

I wouldnt worry too much about it.

If dreams would reflect the "real" you ... well ... then I guess I am (secretly and subconsciously) an insane murderer.

[Sundance_]

I don't put much stock in dream interpretation, except to take things little literally. Maybe you were having anxiety over sex?
Don't use your dreams to define your orientation. You can't control them, they don't have an effect on other parts of your life. If you continue to have them and ALSO find other changes in your orientation, then you might consider rethinking. But still. Dreams are not much evidence, in my book.

[Amy Ghost]

In the dream I've been pretty willing, but afterwards when I woke up I didn't feel good about them and didn't like it

[Guest Scarlet Spider]

Strangely enough, I just had a bi-sexual dream last night. It was pretty vivid too so now i'm wondering what it might have meant...

[Rising Sun]

I think it's just your libido, nothing more. Anyway, it's the case for most people who have such dreams.

[LeeBree]

I once dreamed of having sex with a ghost. I'm not into sex and definitely not ghosts… I just, can't even with that dream ;-; Anyway, don't worry too much, dreams are weird and don't always reflect who we really are. I also once dreamed I got engaged for marriage at age 16… something else I'd never consider in reality if I was that young.

If an event shows up in a dream, it doesn't mean it's something you actually want.

[Guest Scarlet Spider]

I once dreamed of having sex with a ghost.

How is something like that even supposed to work!!?

I think it's just your libido, nothing more. Anyway, it's the case for most people who have such dreams.

Yeah, it's just my libido...

[LeeBree]

I once dreamed of having sex with a ghost.

How is something like that even supposed to work!!?

I… don't know xD I guess, telekinesis on the… parts, or something? Dreams are freaking weird x.x

[ShyFeather]

I wouldnt worry too much about it.

If dreams would reflect the "real" you ... well ... then I guess I am (secretly and subconsciously) an insane murderer.

And I would be the middle aged man with a pot belly trying to catch you :p

I once had a dream of making out with my high school sweetheart the day after I found out about his engagement. It was really gross and I felt disgusting afterwards. But dreams are very weird and I don't think they having particular meanings. It's just the brain trying to interpret frantic signals going on in the nervous system.

[Ficulnean]

I had a dream I was having sex with a guy . . . and I was a guy while doing it. I'm not a guy. This dream clearly can't be indication that I'm homosexual, any more than your dream can determine your sexuality.

[PurebredMuggle]

It's bothersome and even unsettling to have those dreams when you're not into that kind of activity. I have them to sometimes. Largely prefer dreams about cuddling, those are nice.

As to what it means... Well, if you dreamt about eating food you don't usually like you wouldn't think it actually meant something? I have frequent dreams about smoking and that's always weird because I don't smoke and the only time I tried it it felt like having sandpaper down my throat. But I know they don't mean anything.

Seams like you were really upset by your dreams though, and that's OK. Even thought they're not real the can have lasting effects on your emotions depending on their content. All I can say is I hope you don't have to experience that to often or at all.

[Philip027]

Unfortunately, I get these sorts of dreams. I'm nonlibidoist and can't even really imagine how sex would work in a personal sense, so what's depicted in these dreams isn't even likely to be anything close to realistic.

I also wish I wouldn't get these. However, I can't exactly say I'd rather dream of hurting and death instead...

[Amy Ghost]

Unfortunately, I get these sorts of dreams. I'm nonlibidoist and can't even really imagine how sex would work in a personal sense, so what's depicted in these dreams isn't even likely to be anything close to realistic.

I also wish I wouldn't get these. However, I can't exactly say I'd rather dream of hurting and death instead...

It's not like I like the other dreams. But they are my usual. I don't know why

[butterflydreams]

This happens to me a lot too, and like you, I'm mostly just upset by it when I wake up. I've never had a "vanilla" sex dream, there's always something weird about them. Typically things like I'm female-bodied, or I'm not really involved other than as a person "helping" someone else.

It's hard not to feel upset about them sometimes. I'm not upset so much by the act of sex itself, but more by the closeness with another person who actually wanted to be close to me. That never happens in real life, so I'd prefer it if I wasn't taunted in dreams.

That said, they are just dreams, and I do get over it.

[Guest]

I also use to have sex content dreams too. I believe while we dream our souls migrate so that's why we can feel and see the things we never experience in reality.

[Elaine Watson]

I had a similar dream - waking up clothed only in a sweatshirt, with a girl next to me. She smiled to me in an affectionate way. What played out in the dream was me getting up and getting dressed, as women usually do in various series. I was not regretting having sex with her, but I felt shy about my body.

When I woke up, I felt so very confused and ashamed, especially since I am not actually attracted to her, and because she is too young for it to be legal - I am eighteen, and she is fifteen, so while a relationship is still marginally sensible and acceptable, any sexual relations between us are illegal...

[Elderberry]

I have pretty much zero libido and am definitely ace, and even I have had one explicitly sexual dream in the 15 or so years since puberty. Just because you were complicit in the dream doesn't mean that you will be complicit in reality.

[Hooded_Crow]

Let's put it this way: ever had a dream where something really weird and scary was happening but for some reason you were okay with it? And then when you woke up you were like *shudder*

It's the same. This is something that you don't necessarily want. But in dreams, sometimes you're not exactly you. You're a weird/different version of you.

I personally have had sex dreams involving people I don't have the slightest interest in in real life. It just happens that my brain picked them out of my memory XD

[Amy Ghost]

So, does that still make me non-libidoist? I mean I can feel my libido sometimes. But I hate it. I never act on it. It's not really strong and I just ignore it. I sure am not looking for sex, or anything like it. Not to mention doing it myself. Ewww

[Ficulnean]

So, does that still make me non-libidoist? I mean I can feel my libido sometimes. But I hate it. I never act on it. It's not really strong and I just ignore it. I sure am not looking for sex, or anything like it. Not to mention doing it myself. Ewww

Well, if you have a libido, and with what you describe, I would think a bit in-between maybe? Whatever you're fine with.

[Amy Ghost]

So, does that still make me non-libidoist? I mean I can feel my libido sometimes. But I hate it. I never act on it. It's not really strong and I just ignore it. I sure am not looking for sex, or anything like it. Not to mention doing it myself. Ewww

Well, if you have a libido, and with what you describe, I would think a bit in-between maybe? Whatever you're fine with.

Idk, personally I don't feel comfortable with it at all. I feel very uncomfortable when I feel it and even worse should I get aroused, which thankfully happens rarely. But, yea, I don't like it one bit, and always ignore it till it goes away. It's a weird feeling.

[Spec CP]

I often have sex in dreams accompanied by nocturnal emissions. Almost every time I sleep in a bed other than my own, in fact.

That's one of the reasons why I'm still figuring whether or not I'm asexual (or something else in the spectrum) but, to be honest, I feel like that's not me. I feel really uncomfortable for quite a while after I wake up every time. So I can relate to what you're saying.

Perhaps what you feel simply can't be reduced to libido or non-libido. There's a whole in between. You seem to be sex-negative for sure, but (at least in my opinion) you don't need to fit into every label possible. If you feel comfortable with your identity, that's about it.

Good luck with introspection and figuring things out!

[Amy Ghost]

I often have sex in dreams accompanied by nocturnal emissions. Almost every time I sleep in a bed other than my own, in fact.

That's one of the reasons why I'm still figuring whether or not I'm asexual (or something else in the spectrum) but, to be honest, I feel like that's not me. I feel really uncomfortable for quite a while after I wake up every time. So I can relate to what you're saying.

Perhaps what you feel simply can't be reduced to libido or non-libido. There's a whole in between. You seem to be sex-negative for sure, but (at least in my opinion) you don't need to fit into every label possible. If you feel comfortable with your identity, that's about it.

Good luck with introspection and figuring things out!

Could you explain it to me more, please? Isn't that antisexuality? Like, to be against it?

[Newb123]

Today I had really weird dreams. They were full of sex. Most of it was me and some other girl using some toy on me several times. I never before had such intense dreams. I don't get where did they come from. I felt quite uncomfortable. I wished I had my usual nightmares. People getting hurt and death. I really did.

But what does this mean? Can it happen, or does that make me something else than asexual as I thought I was?

It sounds like you didn't like it, so guess I would consider that nightmarish if that was me. I never had a dream of any actual sex, only things that would seem to go in that direction, but then ending in a "nothing". Sort of like social life seems to work for me when I'm awake... :P

I often have dreams of war, shooting people and even liking it. Which has nothing to do with reality. ... and I don't play fps games.

[Spec CP]

I often have sex in dreams accompanied by nocturnal emissions. Almost every time I sleep in a bed other than my own, in fact.

That's one of the reasons why I'm still figuring whether or not I'm asexual (or something else in the spectrum) but, to be honest, I feel like that's not me. I feel really uncomfortable for quite a while after I wake up every time. So I can relate to what you're saying.

Perhaps what you feel simply can't be reduced to libido or non-libido. There's a whole in between. You seem to be sex-negative for sure, but (at least in my opinion) you don't need to fit into every label possible. If you feel comfortable with your identity, that's about it.

Good luck with introspection and figuring things out!

Could you explain it to me more, please? Isn't that antisexuality? Like, to be against it?

Sorry I didn't read this before.

Not exactly, at least not in my understanding of the term (although Wikipedia does equate it to antisexuality).

My understanding of sex-negativity is that you don't want to have sex and wouldn't be open to having sex. Rephrasing it, it means that your feelings towards sex are negative. I think this because you said that you hate it, and feel uncomfortable when your sex drive manifests. (In my understanding) you can be sex-negative and still don't bother about whether or not other people have sex, i.e. you rationally think it's okay to have sex but sex-related things repulse you or make you uncomfortable.

As you may already know, only you can tell about your own identity. So take all of this with a grain of salt. And, as you probably noticed, my understanding of the term "sex-negative" doesn't seem to be exactly the same as the standard definition, so if you think my understanding of the term suits you, you (we) should probably look for an alternative term.

[Burgundy]

Dreams don't necessarily mean anything. I once dreamt (and sleepwalked), thinking I was Captain Jack Sparrow (why is the rum gone?). Strange night. I've only had one sex dream my whole life, and even then it was full of potions and magic and Wizard of Oz related. xx

[Neu]

Someone I know studies psychology and according to Freud, the dream reflects what the person desires. That can be taken in two ways. One is like you said, that you desire sexual situations. The other is that some part of you desires to understand sexual situations. I'm going to focus more on the latter option: Because you aren't that sexual of a person, somewhere in your mind, you desired to understand sexuality in some people. So what your brain registered as sexual manifested itself in your dreams. If this is the case, you are still asexual, just curious about or wanting to understand sexual people.

Though saying that, I think this is likely what Ninja has said. The psyche is strange in that it collates and connects random pieces of information together and manifests that into some of your thoughts and dreams. What you've heard/seen say, the day before, has been collated by the brain and became tangible in your dream. It's all meaningless. I'm going to post some pages from a manga because it features a conversation that seemed relevant to this thread. The black haired guy has just had a dream regarding another girl when he has a girlfriend. He felt guilty because he feels like he subconsciously has feelings for the girl he cheated with in his dreams, so he goes to consult his friends. One of his friends, Teritani (the guy with glasses) says it must be a manifestation of his subconscious. However, a gay guy (the one with long blonde hair) tells him otherwise. Despite his sexual orientation, he does sometimes have dreams about having sex with a girl. This makes him feel depressed when he wakes up. However, of course it doesn't mean his sexual orientation is actually heterosexual. It's more to do with physiology (the way the body, hormones, the brain etc works) than to do with what the 'heart' tells you. Just because you had a sexual dream, it doesn't make you sexual. If you still identify as asexual in your heart, then you are still asexual.

http://mangafox.me/manga/i_s/v11/c003/12.html

http://mangafox.me/manga/i_s/v11/c003/13.html

http://mangafox.me/manga/i_s/v11/c003/14.html

[Aisntllecxtual]

I can not recall ever having a sex dream. Even conjuring up sex in the conscious mind brings images that are so fleeting that it identifies more as abstraction than as concrete mental picture. With that personal comment said, I don't think dreaming about sex can give you any insight as to your present sense of relational being. It might signify curiosity (or be indicative of a thousand other different things), but just because you might be curious, or, indeed, even act on curious impulse, does not nature make.

[dabishop]

It's more to do with physiology (the way the body, hormones, the brain etc works) than to do with what the 'heart' tells you. Just because you had a sexual dream, it doesn't make you sexual. If you still identify as asexual in your heart, then you are still asexual.

Thanks for saving me the trouble of pointing that out. ^_^ Chemical reactions in the body (and even patterns of neuron-firing in the pleasure/reward centers of the brain) are fairly predictable, don't vary all that much from person to person (everything else, such as not messing with drugs, being equal), and aren't really under conscious control, anyway.

Take it away, McGill University !

THE PLEASURE CENTRES

Researchers have found that the main centres of the brain’s reward circuit are located along the medial forebrain bundle (MFB). The ventral tegmental area (VTA) and the nucleus accumbens are the two major centres in this circuit, but it also includes several others, such as the septum, the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, and certain parts of the thalamus. Each of these structures appears to participate in its own way in various aspects of behavioural response.

Moreover, all of these centres are interconnected and innervate the hypothalamus (red arrows), informing it of the presence of rewards. The lateral and ventromedial nuclei of the hypothalamus are especially involved in this reward circuit.

The hypothalamus then acts in return not only on the ventral tegmental area, but also on the autonomic and endocrine functions of the entire body, through the pituitary gland.

If all this is going on while one isn't even awake, it's a pretty big stretch to attribute any of it to any specific conscious desire, eh?