That Ginger Kid Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 From anything I've read it fits me well. I am not attracted to people in a sexual way, except for very rare occasions and that's only been maybe three times in six years that I've ever felt any sort of "desire." I do have normal feelings like anyone else might, just not toward anyone in particular, etc. I much prefer to get to know a person, and not do anything sexual. I have had three boyfriends in my nearly nineteen years, all of which left me because I refused to do anything with them. One I was with for two years before he got sick of waiting for me to never get used to or want to have sex, and left throwing insults at me, one of which was that I was asexual. I'd never heard the term much before and did research on it. It sounded really close to myself, eerily so, and when I found this place I figured I'd ask some questions to people who are the same. Anyhow, on to my questions. 1) being asexual, do you ever feel arousal of any sort? This is seldom for me, but I'm human so it kinda happens, even though I don't like it. 2) some part of me hates the idea of not having a family some day. Not just kids, but a partner. I don't want to do anything sexual, though, except for maybe a very rare occasion - maybe. Has anyone ever heard of a couple who can rely for a long time without sexual anything? I think it'd be great to find some asexual guy who could deal with me, but that seems pretty slim... That's all I have for now. I'm sure that as I explore around this site and all I'll find something more to spark a question :D Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 That's awful what your exes did, especially that one who insulted you. Asexuals can feel physical arousal, which is just an automatic response by the body, and isn't tied to sexual attraction or libido. Some couples are perfectly happy to have a nonsexual relationship, and this includes some non-asexuals who be fine not having sex in a relationship.We figure it out differently. One way that might help you is looking through others' experiences, and see what you can relate to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Amimere Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 (i can only really answer the first question) yes i have felt arousal while reading smut in fanfics, i know it's a thing to "pic up" some kind of sexual drive from porn, since its designed that way. i don't care about it mutch tho, it's just kinda there till the porn bit is over and then it's gone, it's a bit annoying acually. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LuthienTinuviel Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 For your second question, I have similar worries. I don't really care about having kids, but I do want to find love, I want to find a partner someday, hopefully soon-ish. There is actually a thread dedicated to success stories that might help alleviate your concerns and give you hope. http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/95601-the-success-stories-thread/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I'm sorry that your prior boyfriend acted like that...didn't treat you with respect. : ( Horribly rude...and hurtful! But you aren't alone in this. Just keep researching and reading other people's stories, and see what feels right to you. : ) As for your questions... 1. Yes! Asexuals can feel arousal, may have a libido, etc. Some don't, some do, so actions/behaviors do not equate orientation. 2. It's possible! Luthien gave you a great link. I've never been in a relationship, but I've seen many success stories here...being asexual does not mean you will live forever alone (unless you want to! But you can be any orientation and do that, too, lol!). It's possible to find an understanding partner. : ) Best wishes! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
That Ginger Kid Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 Hey, thanks, all! The forum post link was especially helpful; very uplifting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 1. Yep, asexuals can feel arousal, it just isn't directed towards people. Often it is non directed and is just seen as having a libido. 2. A lot of us have this concern. All I can say is that if you wanted x amount of kids only, to live in a certain state, to have a partner working certain hours, all these are limiting factors on long term relationships. Being asexual is a bit more of a limiting factor than these, but isn't different in nature then them. So, don't give up on finding somebody. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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