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How to avoid 'Blue Balls'?


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I'll also appologize as I'm also to blame for making the title what it is. I had used the slang word for the symptom in hopes more people would be quick to understand what it was. However since it has such a bad atmosphere around it, the correct medical term is: Vasocongestion.

My fault for putting the slang in the title

Well this is embarrassing. This is a question to males that experience 'Blue Balls' like myself. For the past three out of four cuddling sessions with my datemate, I have been sexually aroused (Nothing wrong with that). The issue is that we don't engage in any sexual activity and therefore my 'arousal' is not acted upon. Leaving me in mild to intense testicular pain for the next two hours.

My question for the gents of AVEN is how do you:

A. Avoid Blueballs (if you get them)

B. Reduce the swelling when you do get them.

I understand 'Wanking off' is a viable way to eliminate the problem. Its just not practical (and might I add gross) when I am in the presence of my partner. Any help is appreciated!

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TheRogueWraith

Honestly, I had this problem for a couple months, i think 6 or so, with my partner, but i just dealt with the pain of it, which sounds absurd but let me finish. The end result is now i don't get blue balls ever. idk if this will work for you but it is a long term solution if it does.

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Have a pull before the date or whatever may help. Other than that, I sympathise.

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Have a pull before the date or whatever may help. Other than that, I sympathise.

I second this one, or the first reply.

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Sinead Buckley

Get your S.O. to do something time consuming and take care of business in the bathroom. There's not much you can do once you start to feel the pain except lay down and relax or sleep it off.

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I'm no sexpert on Blue Balls; but there are a lot of Amoebas in the Hot Box at this very moment [re 'Body-Bits' thread] who just love talking about the short-comings of human genitals.

I suggest you hop down there, before the Admods 'lock' it up, and get amongst them. [You wouldn't catch me down there...oh, not ever, never!] Cia :ph34r:

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It's probably the most laughed at "condition" ever, because there's only one advice doctors will give you and it's just to have a release.

Apparently, it never occured to some people that this might not be a comfortable option.

On the bright side, blue balls are not dangerous for your health and the pain does go after a day at most. (Now when facing with the duality of either having an orgasm or a day of pain, most people will take the first solution). As far as I know there's no way to reduce the swelling, just wait it out.

Now if you're fine with masturbating that's definitely the easiest, but since you're asking here I figured you weren't.

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I´m not a male, but I think masturbation before cuddling with your partner might prevent it.

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Thank you everyone for the replies! I didn't expect so many when I went to bed last night.

That being said I have learned a few things (from this thread and searching on the internet). Such as to wank before the dates.

To reply to Knout I'm okay with masturbating and would probably do it once I arrive home (an hour drive home I might add). It just seems gross and rude to my partner, and embarrassing since they'll obviously know why.

*sigh* I hope I can be like TheRogueWraith in a few months.

Thanks again everyone!

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PurebredMuggle

Ok, this might be derailing, and I apologise but now I'm confused. I've heard that blueballs are just a myth and something that been used by guys who think it's all right to pressure women for sex. They made it up to make women feel bad for turning the guy on and then refusing to 'put out.' I get the part about it being uncomfortable, and the mid pain your describing, and it sounds nothing like the horror stories that I've heard that some guys will complain about, and that I've concluded to be untrue after some research on anatomy.

So seeing as this is a thread full of ace people who still say they experience it, and I'm sure have no intention of using it to get sex, I'm like what did I miss?

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Yeah, it is an actual thing. I've only had it the once thankfully.

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Ok, this might be derailing, and I apologise but now I'm confused. I've heard that blueballs are just a myth and something that been used by guys who think it's all right to pressure women for sex. They made it up to make women feel bad for turning the guy on and then refusing to 'put out.' I get the part about it being uncomfortable, and the mid pain your describing, and it sounds nothing like the horror stories that I've heard that some guys will complain about, and that I've concluded to be untrue after some research on anatomy.

So seeing as this is a thread full of ace people who still say they experience it, and I'm sure have no intention of using it to get sex, I'm like what did I miss?

It's okay to be confused! Until last night I previously believe 'Blue balls' was slang for being aroused yet not engaging in sex. It wasn't until I started googling that I learned its an actual condition/side effect/pain that occurs when men are sexually stimulated yet do not 'release'.

Having experienced this pain a few times now I can confirm it is real. The pain is between 'I can't walk' and 'this is really uncomfortable' for a few hours. I honestly thought that my partner kept squishing/knocking my parts every time we cuddled! Atleast I know its me!

That being said, not all guys get it. There are obviously some men that will 'cry wolf' for attention/ sympathy which created the myth in the first place. It is an actual thing and hurts quite a bit.

P.S the female counterpart is 'Blue Petal'. I don't know alot of details or if it also causes pain.

Hope thay clears some things up!

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Yeah, it's real but the fact that it's been used and used by men to get instant gratification makes it hard to believe.

The pain is real, but as a man it usually feels pretty lame to complain about any pain given the fact that women go through a ton of pain on a regular basis (I mean periods but not only).

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littlepersonparadox

I found out blue balls wasn't a myth when Stephano e-maile me this morning. He's pretty adimint about not wanting sex. (And to my advantage! No issues here) Just to let you know spending five /ten minutes in the bathrooms fine. My last boyfriend had a medical condition causing low immune system and is considered a pre-curser to blood cancer. As a result he was on chemo meds that caused him to throw up every hour for a few hours after. He always threw up in the bathroom at least twice during our cuddles sessions, and we were in HIS room so I could hear everything in the bathroom. Did bother me one bit. So you disappearing for a tiny bit and I can't here anything is a lot nicer in comparison.

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Though I dislike admitting it this happened to me too. The first time we spent a few hours kissing and she left I felt a horrible horrible pain in the "package" area for about 2-3 hours. It happened every time almost for about a month and a half. But now I haven't gotten it (at 4 months now)...So i guess I sucked it up and it went away on its own. Time heals all wounds right?

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Just ignore it and it will go away. Nothing bad will happen if you don't "take care of it". That is a misconception that is ployed by many guys to get girls to have sex with them. Your body will reabsorb the semen eventually and you'll be fine. Eventually, the ache you feel will go away. I don't ever feel "blue balls" anymore. It's a mild discomfort that eventually fades with time.

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Capslock Cadet

Honestly, I had this problem for a couple months, i think 6 or so, with my partner, but i just dealt with the pain of it, which sounds absurd but let me finish. The end result is now i don't get blue balls ever. idk if this will work for you but it is a long term solution if it does.

This worked for my partner.

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PurebredMuggle

Ok, this might be derailing, and I apologise but now I'm confused. I've heard that blueballs are just a myth and something that been used by guys who think it's all right to pressure women for sex. They made it up to make women feel bad for turning the guy on and then refusing to 'put out.' I get the part about it being uncomfortable, and the mid pain your describing, and it sounds nothing like the horror stories that I've heard that some guys will complain about, and that I've concluded to be untrue after some research on anatomy.

So seeing as this is a thread full of ace people who still say they experience it, and I'm sure have no intention of using it to get sex, I'm like what did I miss?

It's okay to be confused! Until last night I previously believe 'Blue balls' was slang for being aroused yet not engaging in sex. It wasn't until I started googling that I learned its an actual condition/side effect/pain that occurs when men are sexually stimulated yet do not 'release'.

Having experienced this pain a few times now I can confirm it is real. The pain is between 'I can't walk' and 'this is really uncomfortable' for a few hours. I honestly thought that my partner kept squishing/knocking my parts every time we cuddled! Atleast I know its me!

That being said, not all guys get it. There are obviously some men that will 'cry wolf' for attention/ sympathy which created the myth in the first place. It is an actual thing and hurts quite a bit.

P.S the female counterpart is 'Blue Petal'. I don't know alot of details or if it also causes pain.

Hope thay clears some things up!

Well ok then, the more you know. I have to admit I got a little angry when I saw the title of this thread, but then I read the content. The word 'blueballs' and how it has been used to shame women for refusing sex tend to do that:P

The way our anatomy works is till interesting thought. Like why is arousal painful for some people? It doesn't make much sense but there it is.

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Alright. Sorry to have to do this but the 'Its a myth' and 'It's not a horror story pain' has to stop.

I'm not claiming that the pain is extreme to the point where I need to be rushed to the ER, however it has been to the point I need to take a minute and rest in the middle of a hallway. Most of us are Asexual, so relate this to the comments we recieve. "Your pain/sexuality is a myth", "You're secretly trying to get laid/pressure someone to have sex with you". I see these comments and they are NOT constructive.

I'm not pressuring my partner. Yes it is an actual thing. While you may not experience it to such a painful extent it has interfered with my nights and I was searching for a solution to the problem. Not sympathetic silver lining such as 'Atleast you aren't..." and "It gets better".

Sorry to sound rude but it is a horrible thing to be told 'No that doesn't exist' and then have questions not be taken seriously. I'm trying to find answers. Not be told that its a lie. Plus these posts make me feel worse about an already uncomfortable topic.

I've got my answer now (for the most part) however I'm still open to any CONSTRUCTIVE opinions on the matter. If this is going to turn into a debate over 'Its not real' or 'Its BS' then I have no desire to take part any longer.

Thank you.

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I'll also appologize as I'm also to blame for making the title what it is. I had used the slang word for the symptom in hopes more people would be quick to understand what it was. However since it has such a bad atmosphere around it, the correct medical term is: Vasocongestion.

My fault for putting the slang in the title but my previous post still stands.

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It's just part of nature. Happened to me only very rarely thank God ! ......first time it happened, I literally thought I was dying.

I guess I just don't allow myself to get to that point ever, that is my solution.

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Yeah, it's not a "myth" or something I could just "walk off". The first time it happened I was seriously considering going to the hospital and I hadn't the slightest clue what was going on. It happened a few more times after that, not as alarming as the first time, and but I've decided to simply avoid it completely. If the pain has started it can still hurt a while even after you've "taken care of it" so I'd rather never get to that point at all.

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PurebredMuggle

I'll also appologize as I'm also to blame for making the title what it is. I had used the slang word for the symptom in hopes more people would be quick to understand what it was. However since it has such a bad atmosphere around it, the correct medical term is: Vasocongestion.

My fault for putting the slang in the title but my previous post still stands.

I'm sorry. This probably wasn't the right thread to ask this question. I do not disbelieve what you were saying in the original post, or even imply that you were pressuring your partner. That is honestly not my impression at all.

Sorry I made an uncomfortable situation worse!

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I'll also appologize as I'm also to blame for making the title what it is. I had used the slang word for the symptom in hopes more people would be quick to understand what it was. However since it has such a bad atmosphere around it, the correct medical term is: Vasocongestion.

My fault for putting the slang in the title but my previous post still stands.

I'm sorry. This probably wasn't the right thread to ask this question. I do not disbelieve what you were saying in the original post, or even imply that you were pressuring your partner. That is honestly not my impression at all.

Sorry I made an uncomfortable situation worse!

Muggle! You're perfectly right to ask the question! You approached the topic with your bias but in an academic, respectful

and curious perspective. You were genuinly seeking to learn more and I thankyou for that! You are the one that brough the negative atmosphere of the slang to my full attention which I thank you. I didn't realize that people may be entering into this thread with a preconcieved idea to bash it without reading the content.

You're questions are happily accepted! Hope we can be friends :)

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PurebredMuggle

I'll also appologize as I'm also to blame for making the title what it is. I had used the slang word for the symptom in hopes more people would be quick to understand what it was. However since it has such a bad atmosphere around it, the correct medical term is: Vasocongestion.

My fault for putting the slang in the title but my previous post still stands.

I'm sorry. This probably wasn't the right thread to ask this question. I do not disbelieve what you were saying in the original post, or even imply that you were pressuring your partner. That is honestly not my impression at all.

Sorry I made an uncomfortable situation worse!

Muggle! You're perfectly right to ask the question! You approached the topic with your bias but in an academic, respectful

and curious perspective. You were genuinly seeking to learn more and I thankyou for that! You are the one that brough the negative atmosphere of the slang to my full attention which I thank you. I didn't realize that people may be entering into this thread with a preconcieved idea to bash it without reading the content.

You're questions are happily accepted! Hope we can be friends :)

Ok, I'm relieved. I just didn't think about how it might be invasive, but we're talking about genitals here so duh. And I certainly do not want to invalidate people's experience when it comes to uncomfortable subjects. I hope you find a way to deal with your vasoncongeston!

So yeah. OK. We're friends. Cool. :blush:

*Googles 'vasoncongestion'*

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If you want to avoid it go to the bathroom and release. They'll just think you needed to go to the bathroom so they won't have any idea.

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I´m a woman and yes, there´s an equivalent of "blue balls". I have strong libido and if I don´t take care of it through masturbation, it can cause random arousal, which is mildly painful if I still don´t take care of it.

I wouldn´t mind it if I had asexual partner who would stop cuddling because of releasing his useless :D libido. I´m afraid I would have to do it too. :D

I wouldn´t mind even asexual partner masturbating during the cuddling session, if it could be done some discrete way. But the same situation with sexual would terrify me.

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