Whirleh Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I mean, of course we have online or without knowing it, yes. But expanding on my question, has anyone ever found another asexual because they were wearing the black ring or the flag colors? Or even because they made some obscure reference to cake? Or even more interesting, has anyone ever found out that they knew a fellow AVENite in real life? I'm curious if the "subtle signs" we put out have actually worked in reeling anyone in. Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Nope. Going to a workshop on the 28th, but that's not the by chance type thing that you're describing. Link to post Share on other sites
knout Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 That really sounds highly unlikely, if I saw someone with a black ring I wouldn't assume they were asexual unless there'd be clear other signs (like black/violet pants, just sayin') But hey, why not, we can dream :) Link to post Share on other sites
Exanimis Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It would be super unlikely in my case. I really don't think there would be any asexual around my parts, even less AVENites. Shame :( Link to post Share on other sites
Tenebrae Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I live in small town ontario... with a large mennonite community. I HIGHLY doubt I will find an asexual here. I don't think I even found a homosexual. Or maybe I just need to get out more. Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 No. That's what meetups are for. Link to post Share on other sites
Teavana Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 No but I wish. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 When someone wore the colors of the sexy flag, it was a giveaway to me. *introduced myself* Link to post Share on other sites
DashaT Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've met some asexuals (and AVENites) in real life. But it was at an ace meetup. And one of them (@seletrielle) actually found me because I was wearing a black ring! Link to post Share on other sites
Winnie_A Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've never found another asexual in this way. I don't think I've ever even met another asexual at all in real life. There's one person I suspect might be, but I really have no idea, and I have no business guessing unless she decides to talk to me about it. Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Last week, there was a student in some of my classes that was wearing a black ring, but when I brought it up they asked "Is it symbolic?" Turns out their ring was actually just a mood ring that stopped working. So I'm pretty sure they aren't ace. I don't know any asexuals outside of my group of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Hrm. I haven't, and I tend to blend really well, so it's unlikely people are going to recognize me. I rock an ace flag pin on my bag. That'll have to do, pig, that'll have to do. If I got bold, maybe I'd slap the pin on my jacket or something and walk around Burlington for a while. I bet I could find somebody. Though that requires walking among hipsters as well. An acceptable compromise ;) I have a refrigerator box propped up by a ruler with a piece of cake inside that's tied to the ruler, but it just sits there. Empty :( Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Sheka4 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 No,at apparently I am the lone asexual at my school and amongst my group of friends as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Beeze Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I met one at my school's "50-50" club (our LGBTQ club). It's not an ace-specific club, so it was still unexpected. Link to post Share on other sites
NinjaRobot Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Weirdly enough, a whole bunch of my uni friends happen to be asexual. Some I knew about before I found out about myself, one of which got me onto researching asexuality in the first place; with one the topic never came up until she asked about my black ring and then said she agreed with me about sex; one has been thinking about asexuality since some of my AVEN friends did a presentation at uni; and the other is a jaffy who thinks he's all alone in being ace, on that note perhaps someone should reassure him... So yeah. By complete coincidence, I know three people who are definitely asexual, and two who are possibly so. Link to post Share on other sites
passionatefriend61 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Yup. When I was in college, I met a few aces or people who were ace-questioning, just by identifying myself openly as asexual. They came to me privately and wanted to know more about asexuality because it resonated with them. One person, I'm close friends with to this day. She's asexual but didn't know it when we met. I came out to her right away and we had a bunch of conversations about it. Eventually, like within a year, she told me she was pretty sure she's ace. I also had friends in childhood who identified as "straight" but once we reached adulthood, they basically implied they could be ace, even though they won't use the word to identify themselves. That was weird because I knew these people for years and just read them as vanilla-heteronormative-straight-as-hell the whole time because that's what they let the world believe. And they're hetero-romantic, or at least open to being in romantic relationships with people of the opposite sex. But in reality, they don't actually want or need sex and could live forever without it. Sounds pretty damn asexual to me. But there again, if it wasn't for me being so out as ace, they probably never would've been aware of asexuality, let alone contemplated the possibility that it applies to them. So that's why I feel strongly about being as out and open as you can be, if it's comfortable for you. It increases the odds of meeting other aces and also does a good job of spreading awareness of asexuality, without formal activism work. We're taught to assume that everyone is sexual and straight until proven otherwise, but that's bullshit. I wouldn't, if I were you. Unless someone identifies themselves, you can't really know what they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Artemis Fowle Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I've been told that my friend is friends with another asexual though we haven't met. Link to post Share on other sites
Whirleh Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 When someone wore the colors of the sexy flag, it was a giveaway to me. *introduced myself* That's awesome! Did they know about AVEN? It seems like a bunch of us have meet other aces by coincidentally befriending them. I have a demiromantic friend and another one who may be asexual. I made some ace bracelets to wear so I could discreetly reveal myself to others, but so far, none have come forth. I wish there were meet-ups near where I lived (not that I'd be able to go without outing myself to my parents). I typed in "asexuality meet ups in Maryland" on google and all I got as a result was a meet-up for nudists/naturalists. I laughed, I'll admit. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Cakes Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I found one of my IRL friends (we're not super close, but I'd say we're more than acquaintances) on AVEN, which led to me sending her an awkward Facebook message to see if her AVEN username sounded familiar (I wanted to make sure it was really her before outing myself). We then had a great conversation about ace stuff, because neither of us knew the other was ace, and yeah, now she's one of the two other aces I know :) (The other is someone I knew before I even knew asexuality was a thing, and after I started identifying as ace I remembered seeing a flyer-thing on her wall during awareness week and connected with her. It's interesting the things we subconsciously remember!) Link to post Share on other sites
The Cakemeister Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I'm reasonably open about my ace-ness, so in the middle of game night it came up. Turns out, three of my friends are also ace. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyLotti Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Actually, I have. One of my friends knew another ace and introduced us after I came out to her. Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Saw one of my teachers the other week with the black ring but I doubt it's because they're asexualPretty sure one of my friends is though, and one of my other friends might possibly be, she doesn't seem like the type to question her sexuality though. I do it constantly. Link to post Share on other sites
Contrarian Expatriate Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I have found 2 or 3 who have said, "I'm like that too" or "so and so is like that too." I'm convinced that these people are simply celibate rather than asexual, but I was not inclinded to dig for details. Link to post Share on other sites
Arethusa Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I'm not sure, actually. I mean, there was an old friend of my mother's who turned 50 without having had a stable relationship that I know of, plus one of my friends here at university who got pretty excited when I came out, but no one else 'in the wild', outside GSRM spaces. So far, at any rate. Link to post Share on other sites
PurebredMuggle Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Oh wouldn't that be great! No I haven't. Not even intentionally. I know they're out there and I'm sure I probably know some who aren't out or doesn't even know they are ace themselves. I've been suspecting for some time that my cousin is ace/aro. He's in his thirties and have never been with anyone that I know of. BUT that could be for other reasons as well. Asking him about it would be super awkward though, as we're not that close even if we see each other weekly. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenebrae Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I'm still hoping. But I figure I won't seen any aces until Con season, which doesn't start til the spring. Link to post Share on other sites
SMW22792 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I have not, but I'm pretty sure one of my friends may be demisexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterywriter221 Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Two people on my quidditch team are asexual. One asked me if my ring was for asexuality and asked where she could get one. The other told me he's ace after there was a really bad sex scene in a movie the team was watching. Link to post Share on other sites
Saraya Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yes I have met one and unexpected too. She is quite sarcastic lol. Link to post Share on other sites
kulosle Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I've met two openly asexual people. Sad because both of them were also aromantic. It's sad because this lowers (statistically) the chance i'll run into one i can have a relationship with. 1% of people, so for fun sake, lets say i've met 200 (a very high estimation) people who i've gotten close enough to, to learn such facts about them. That means i'd have to meat 100 more people before meeting up with another. Statistics don't stack up well against reality i know but still. Niether of them wore black rings but i do, just in case. I do hope someone will notice it and take a chance on someone recognizing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.