Just Asking Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 So I'm still terribly, hopelessly confused in regards to my sexuality. I've been reading A LOT of threads, blogs tumblr pages, articles, etc. in hopes of somehow being able to come across a scenario or ancedote that I can really identify with and that makes me feel a lot less confused, but alas, it simply hasn't happened for me. So just to reiterate, I'm a 19 year old straight female. I've never been in any romantic or sexual relationship, but I do have romantic and sexual fantasies, often involving celebrity men and other women never myself. I don't know if this is because I'm so self-conscious, or because of some other psychological issue. Also I have recently realized that I often associate more with male pleasure than with female pleasure. By that I mean that I can imagine a guy being pleasured in any way and be stimulated by it. I don't know if this means I desire to be the guy or I desire to be the one giving the pleasure, but I'm leaning more towards the second idea because I know that I don't desire to have sex with women. To get to the point of this diatribe, basically I've realized that a lot of what I experience when I meet or look at a guy that I find to be aesthetically pleasing is sensual attraction. But I'm confused because I don't know whether its truly sensual attraction or sexual attraction as well .I think about hugging, touching, and kissing a guy but I don't think about naked bodies and penetration. So this sounds like a more sensual, non-sexual attraction right? I thought so too but when I think about touching or being touched by a cute guy its always in a sexual way. Not in the obvious ways that would involve genitals and sex but..for example...I'll think of stroking a guy's arm or kissing his neck. That's not the same comfort that I would get from nuzzling my pillow or cuddling by blanket so I'm wondering if that is sexual attraction I'm feeling. I know that it seems very tedious for me to analzye every single aspect of my feelings but I think that my categorizing what I feel as either romantic/sensual/sexual attraction and/or desire will allow me to better understand what I feel and if I am asexual or sexual. Also, if anyone has any advice on why I seem to associate more with male pleasure in sexual fantasies I'm very confused about this as well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sundance_ Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Sounds like sensual attraction to me for the most part, so you probably have that. You might be edging into the territory of sexual attraction. It's a little hard to know for sure unless you've been in a sensual/sexual situation. I figured it out when I had a really close friend who was attracted to me but I never wanted to do more than cuddle. Probably just try and be open to the experience if it comes along. See how far you're interested in going and be okay with it either way, if you can. Also, if anyone has any advice on why I seem to associate more with male pleasure in sexual fantasies I'm very confused about this as well. Umm, I have no advice, but I'm the same way. I think for some reason I'm more mentally distanced from other parts of sex than I am from that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I thought so too but when I think about touching or being touched by a cute guy its always in a sexual way. Not in the obvious ways that would involve genitals and sex but..for example...I'll think of stroking a guy's arm or kissing his neck. That's not the same comfort that I would get from nuzzling my pillow or cuddling by blanket so I'm wondering if that is sexual attraction I'm feeling. I don't see anything sexual in that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I thought so too but when I think about touching or being touched by a cute guy its always in a sexual way. Not in the obvious ways that would involve genitals and sex but..for example...I'll think of stroking a guy's arm or kissing his neck. That's not the same comfort that I would get from nuzzling my pillow or cuddling by blanket so I'm wondering if that is sexual attraction I'm feeling. I don't see anything sexual in that. Seconded. Sensual attraction involves people and touching, and is different from simply getting a feeling by touching a pillow. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.