Teavana Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Hi everyone, I know this is a random question, but it's out of curiosity. Edit: Bully-victim is somebody who was a bullly at some point and was a victim at some point. A victim was never the bully. Bullying is... name-calling, teasing, insulting, purposely trying to put someone else down, humiliate or annoy them, physically hurting someone, shoving, sexual harassment, stealing, breaking someone else's things, spreading rumors, pulling pranks, etc. It's a repeated, continuing pattern of those behaviors. Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Was both when I was a kid. Have vowed to never be either again :) Link to post Share on other sites
Teavana Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 I was the victim throughout fifth grade to seventh grade. Fortunately it completely stopped after I transferred to another school in eight grade. Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Well, I stuck up for some other people. I had people bully me, but those people were also nice to me, so that was a bit odd. I never bullied anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
ihaveleftbye Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I was the victim of bullying all throughout school from about fourth grade up until the day that I was forced to drop out in high school due to health issues. Even after I managed to escape that scene of school bullying. Bullies still have come and gone in and out of my life at just about every turn that I take. I just am better equipped now to deal with them than I was back in school. I'd never become a bully myself as I know how it feels to be on the receiving end and I would never wish to inflict that on someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Zapstileon Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I've been on three sides of that. I've been bullied, I bullied someone else, and I intervened with bullies. In that order. I am resolute in continuing the habit of intervening and defending victims, knowing how it is to be on either side of such situations. Link to post Share on other sites
defaultuser Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I don't even know how to put it, people in my school always tried to make me angry with their words. Is this bullying? Tried to provoke me to do something. Too bad, I got nerves of steel, and as a result they often just got bored with me. However yes, I was in the bullying class, where people always bullied someone, physically included. Now I believe that forced depressant medicamentation for certain people is a key to stop such things from happening. Too bad, not gonna happen, well, at least while humans are in charge. Link to post Share on other sites
Corretto Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Certainly a worthwhile poll...but, not wishing to be accused of 'bullying' you...I suggest you include a concise wee definition of 'bullying' in your intro. Cia :D PS...I was both a bully and bullied...one can promote the other. I have excuses! Link to post Share on other sites
Hooded_Crow Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I was definitely a victim. In highschool, people called me weird, a nerd, a witch, Robin Hood (I had a sort of Renaissance/Medieval looking shirt), Joan of Arc (same), and probably some other stuff I forgot. Girls would make fun of me cause I didn't wear make-up or dress according to the current trends, or have a boyfriend. Guys would make fun of me because my chest developed early. I once got asked by a girl I didn't know: "Why do you even listen in class?" Like being a good student was a completely alien concept to her. My backpack used to get moved around during recess if I didn't hang on to it. I sometimes still have nightmares about not being able to get to class on time because I can't find my backpack. I blame my junior highschool years for a good part of my self-esteem and social anxiety issues. I am still very much resentful of those bullies. I don't think "Oh, they were young, they didn't know any better." They knew exactly what they were doing and nothing justifies making a fellow human being feel this bad and out of place. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 What's the difference between bully-victim and victim? Link to post Share on other sites
Teavana Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 @WhenSummersGone Bully-victim is somebody who was a bullly at some point and was a victim at some point. A victim was never the bully. @Hooded_Crow Bullies are so insecure and unforgivable. You're right their actions should never be justified. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Oh ok, thanks. I voted victim and I don't think I was ever a bully although I do judge people. Link to post Share on other sites
Amatista Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Victim in middle school. It messed me up. I don't think I will ever be truly happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
FireBendingAce Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I was bullied intermittently from mid-elementary school through most of junior high/middle school, the worst years being 1st, 4th, and 7th grade, during which I was bullied pretty harshly on a constant basis. It's messed me up in a lot of ways, such as leading to the development of my anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder. The thing that people don't realize about bullying is that the injury doesn't just go away after the bullying stops, or after the kids grow up- for a lot of children, it changes their ENTIRE perception of themselves and their own worth from that moment on. I remember learning in a class that children begin to develop self-esteem around the age of 7 or 8.. Because of the things I went through around that age, it has taken me most of my life so far (I'm almost 20 now) to even BEGIN to understand the concept of self-esteem, let alone apply it to myself. This video/poem explains it well, I think (and also is 100% guaranteed to bring me to tears every time): http://youtu.be/F8SdkAgsoM4 Sorry for ranting, this is just a really important topic to me! Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Victim all throughout schooling...it wasn't so bad in college, at least. I was finally away from the people that hounded me forever in school. And then one of the girls that was a bully of mine transferred and was in some of my classes (we were in the same major)...I didn't want to talk to her at all. I was still a bit emotionally scarred, but then I was forced to be in a group with her for a project. I had nothing but negative thoughts in my head...but...she changed? She was totally different than before. We actually ended up being friends. I still can't forget the things that were done to me, but I am willing to forgive if someone has made an effort to change. Link to post Share on other sites
Teavana Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 I used to feel depressed and I was on Zoloft for one year because of it. It is possible to rise above it. The way people treat you doesn't define who you are, it only defines them. If someone is being nice to you, it's not because you are special, it's because that person is nice. If someone is being mean to you, it's not because you are unworthy and it's not because you deserve it. That person is mean and emotionally immature. Some quotes that helped me. No one can hurt you without your consent. - Don't let them ruin your present. The past is gone. Think of the future not the past - Doing this helped me forgot most of the things people said to me. But I'm not perfect. I always have fears of seeing them somewhere in the future. I don't want to see them again because it will make me feel so awkward and angry. One of them goes to my college right now and I'm trying to hide from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Geoff Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I probably should have been bullied. I guess I was a wallflower to such a massive degree that none of the bullies noticed me. On the other hand, I had depression and anxiety anyway, so I still didn't get off scott-free. Link to post Share on other sites
cali87 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 In elementary school i was bullied. In high school...I'm not sure how to explain it...i had a lot of "school friends" people i hung out with all the time in school and at school events but never outside of school situations..and i was never really bullied but it was more like... pitty i guess? Nobody was mean to me..quite the opposite, i had overheard conversations along the lines of "don't let anything happen to HER she's too nice and sweet"...so like..i dunno, i wasn't worth being real friends with but I was "too nice" to be mean to? Better then being bullied i guess..? Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Darkhorse Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I have been in both roles. But I was one far more often than the other. Link to post Share on other sites
littleheartsofjoy Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I was the victim for a whole year of school. Even though I was the nice but quiet student, that wasn't enough for me to not be bullied. That year was terrible for me. Somehow, even though it was, when someone who bullied me in a class bullied a new girl, I found myself being the one to stand up to, and defend her. Til this day, I wonder how that happened but it's fine because ever since then, the girl decided that I was cool. It's interesting because I was bullied in that particular class myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I must be lucky. Whilst I was in no way perfect (Total BRAT as a child) I never went too far. Being well brought up (Thank you parents) and taught right from wrong at an early stage curbed the worst of my nasty side. I was so insensitive to others though, that I would never have noticed if they were bullying me. Luckily developmental issues didn't make themselves obvious until I was well into grammar school by which time everyone knew better than to bully gratuitously Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Scarlet Spider Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I vaguely remember being bullied back in middle school but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Much like someone else mentioned above; people who often try to get a reaction out of you are most likely bullies. They're people who want to start fights, arguments, and/or disputes just because they want to feel like it. Seems to me that someone like that either acts without much thought (impulsively) or simply does not know of any other way to talk/relate to other people in his/her peer group(s). Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I´ve been a victim since the age of 11 or 12, with pauses during the high school and university, but it came back in jobs and almost everywhere where I go, including total strangers. I doubt it will ever stop completely. Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I was the victim of bully until freshman year of high school. Kids in my schools liked to tease and torment anyone who was the least bit different, and I was never one for pretending to be something I'm not just to fit in. Link to post Share on other sites
Void in Color Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 I put neither. I might be cold, but I can't remember ever being malicious. And throughout school, I was always in large schools and due to my classes, rather isolated from the rest of my peers for most of the time, so no one ever really noticed me except my more tolerant class mates. And, according to my sister, I have an intimidating aura, so I guess people didn't want to mess with me (or ask me out...). Link to post Share on other sites
Exanimis Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 Different educational system here in my parts. As for my personal experience, I started being the bullied in a circle of "friends" (they were all a bunch of high-end minor offenders, one was arrested for drug dealing) and then, I moved and different school, of course. Then I started bullying and got myself bullied a little. Then, before leaving school, the people were less childish and more mature so, I stopped. No bullying nor being bullied. Totally different and crazy story my school years.. To note that, there was never an end to the periods, but just predominantly I was bully/bullied during said period and shit. There were a lot of cool times ... Sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
iamphoenixfire Posted October 15, 2014 Share Posted October 15, 2014 i was a bully and a victim in elementary school. victim in middle school. i was a bully because i was made fun of so much in elementary school. so i fought back. got really angry. im not like that anymore. also i had the glorious bad home life excuse. but as i got older i realized i was a shit person and now im a lot better. im neither now. but i stand up for the victim now, at least. so woot. Link to post Share on other sites
Relz Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 98% Victim, 2% Bully. I was a victim of severe bullying & exclusion from preschool-8th grade. They called me every name imaginable, picked fights with me, turned the whole class against me. School was an absolute nightmare. I only ever bullied (teased) one kid for one school year (4th grade). He was one of the only kids lower in the social hierarchy than I was. I feel extreme regret & guilt about it, even though it was very minor compared to what others did to me. Nobody deserves to be bullied. At the time I bullied this kid, I had been a victim myself for years. I had no self-esteem, no friends, a ton of undiagnosed anxiety issues, and no one who cared. I had so much anger and I took it out on him because I didn't know a better way of dealing with it. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
truthisbest7 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I was beat on. Picked on . Bullied. Roughed up. Lunch money repeatedly taken. Name called. Heckled. Followed home. Badgered......all in grade school and started slacking off in middle school. Then other kids pretty much left me alone because I was "weird". They didn't understand me and the feeling was mutual. I was never understood by my peers. Ever.I never understood them either. Its like we were on a totally different plane.......Here is a question: how many of you r an only child or were raised that way??? I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Tessc Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 I was a victim of quite bad bullying from kindergarten all the way through until I left. That includes three different school. I was beaten and called names, but I think it made me stronger. I now don't take any crap from anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
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