undoubtedly normal, but difficult to accept

[Totally Schwuaat?]

To begin, I can't but help but despise the attitudes of sex within, mostly western, society. The 'taboo', yet 'necessary', 'beautiful', act of applying mutual fritction to each others genitals as a quintessential expression of the human experience. In my desire to be unaffected by the sexual attitudes of others, it has become increasingly difficult to do so under the circumstances of young adulthood.

Maybe it is I who have not yet come to terms with the impermanence of things; the constant flux and change, in a way, that prepares me for inevitable shifts in social expectation. Or to be less vague, maybe the fact that I don't value, and have come to downright hate, something that most of society deems as highly necessary to the core, is the fault of my own? That sex is something I should just accept that other people will do, and enjoy, even if it diminishes the quality of my friendships with these people? Am I selfish for wondering what that leaves me with? And can I hate sex without hating that others like it?

I don't want to be a hateful person, I want to be understanding, and I generally try to be, but darn it if I have not felt existentially slighted by how my friends respond to their sexual impulses.

[butterflydreams]

If I may be so bold as to assume you yourself are in young adulthood? That's a crazy time all around, but things do change. People do change. It doesn't have to diminish the quality of your friendships with those people, but, and I'm sorry to say this, it probably will to some extent. It did for me. I just wasn't...there in those moments, and discussions. Eventually that starts to poke holes in things. It doesn't feel intentional, or sudden. It just feels natural. People just kind of slide off into their own tracks. I did too. C'est la vie.

You definitely don't have to be a hateful person. Maybe you could try to get those friendships to be more reciprocal in the sense that you put in more effort to understand them, and how they tick, and they put in more effort to understand you. Then everybody wins.

Maybe it's the asexual in me, so you can discount this if you want, but I don't think mutual genital friction is the quintessential expression of human experience, and I would doubt that even the majority of people feel that way. I know it seems like that's how everyone thinks sometimes, but I seriously doubt they actually do.

[Ficulnean]

Hey. Some people on here are sex replused and cannot actually understand sex why other people like or don't mind the idea at all. They actively dislike it. I try to be sex positive, in that if it helps other people with whatever it helps them with, then it's good for them; just not for me.

And honestly, you're allowed to hate the importance that other people place on it. It does limit your possibilities in the relationshp department, if you're still romantic. Just understand that they do find it important and maybe try not to talk when it comes up, if other people sincerely seem to be only doing what they're used to.

[Totally Schwuaat?]

If I may be so bold as to assume you yourself are in young adulthood? That's a crazy time all around, but things do change. People do change. It doesn't have to diminish the quality of your friendships with those people, but, and I'm sorry to say this, it probably will to some extent. It did for me. I just wasn't...there in those moments, and discussions. Eventually that starts to poke holes in things. It doesn't feel intentional, or sudden. It just feels natural. People just kind of slide off into their own tracks. I did too. C'est la vie.

You definitely don't have to be a hateful person. Maybe you could try to get those friendships to be more reciprocal in the sense that you put in more effort to understand them, and how they tick, and they put in more effort to understand you. Then everybody wins.

Maybe it's the asexual in me, so you can discount this if you want, but I don't think mutual genital friction is the quintessential expression of human experience, and I would doubt that even the majority of people feel that way. I know it seems like that's how everyone thinks sometimes, but I seriously doubt they actually do.

Yep, young adult up in here. When I made this post last night, me and my Dad got back from the bar watching a football game and the thoughts kind of exploded a bit more than usual from the consumption. There are a number of reasons why I feel like I've had a hard time maintaining friendships in the past, and being away from school, for the first time in my life, is giving me some retrospection in that. When I first got out of high school and started really working on this career, it was just something that I noticed more and more that much of the deterioration was the result of confusing, and occasionally manipulative, relationships (my own included).

Sex is absolutely not the quintessential, but our society sure seems to treat it like it is. Even if most people actually don't agree that it is, the level of conformity around the idea is what I find most frustrating. You're advice is good advice, listen and they'll listen back. I want to be better at this every day.

[s2m6]

I understand exacally what you are going through. I am myself a young adult, male at that and a virgin, never dated, never kissed or done any of that; and in my teens I too had these negative views of sex and its so called "importance" in society. As of now, I have simpally grown to a state of indifference to the thought of it, although that is as long as it does not affect me or my life or someone does not attempt to force their highly sexed views onto me. In fact, just this night I heard a young couple in the throes of passion next door, and I felt pretty disgusted by the sound of it and the knowledge of what they were doing, but I pretty much garentee that just about everyone else who heard it felt the same.

You do not sound like a hateful person at all. You are what you are - an indivisual, with your own thoughts, feelings, ideas, and emotions. Disliking the idea of sex because it repulsives you does not make you bad, or strange, or weird, or whatever anyone would say (believe me, I've heard it all before for many years). You live your life the way you want to and don't let these thoughts trouble you. Negative thinking leads to negative feeling.

I hope that helps :-)