pyroshadow Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 In high school I was mistaken for gay/bi often due to an androgynous look and apparent lack of interest in relationships to those outside my friend circle o.o From people presuming this and asking or trying to set me up with others, I knew I wasn't, and they were always confused when I said I was straight. I had a few Boy Friends and the like, but was never as enthusiastic about sex and didn't understand the big deal, I knew I was different, but I presumed I just had a low sex drive and that I was a late bloomer etc for ages... wasn't until I got into sexual relationships that I started to figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Naaat Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Yes, yes, and no. I moved around between a lot of identities. I went from androsexual (guys) to bicurious to gynosexual (girls) to bisexual to pansexual to asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 3 x yes, though not in that order. I started with guys, because everybody else seemed to be doing so, had a few crushes and dated two (one of whom was quite probably gay and in denial about that). Then I realized that I didn't really enjoy it but found myself interested in girls, so I went to "bi" and from there to "probably lesbian" to "help, there's something wrong with me". Right now, I'm just very happy to have found that apparently there's NOTHING wrong with me, and I'll take it from there. I think I might be a romantic asexual with a strong inclination towards people who identify as female, but I wouldn't exclude anybody else just because of their genes, appearance or gender. For example, I would totally date my first boyfriend again if I met him today and not when I was sixteen, even knowing that he identified as a gay man. I was attracted to him because of his personality, after all (even though it didn't hurt that I also found him to be aesthetically pleasing). Link to post Share on other sites
element83 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I identified as heterosexual because that was kind of the default, and I didn't really question that. Also I did feel attraction to people, and it took me a while to realise that the kind of attraction I felt was different from the kind of attraction other people felt (especially since I grew up in a culture where sex wasn't really talked about - I kind of assumed for a while that people only had sex if they wanted to have children). Link to post Share on other sites
Kellam Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I both always knew I was ace and questioned it. I never had the words to describe what I actually felt and assumed I was broken but in my teens I explored all the other possibilities, at least in a conceptual way. After my teens I went ahead with just trying to fix my brokenness and be straight. I only came to full self acceptance in my 30's when I also found the word and this community. Link to post Share on other sites
Loki Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 No to all 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 No to all 3 Did you always know you were ace then? Or did you just kind of live life as it came to you? Or . . . what . . . Link to post Share on other sites
The Emerald Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 My answers were no, no, and then yes. I never thought I woul/could be bi or gay. I always thought I would have a "fairy-tale ending" that heroes and heroines get at the end of Disney Movies. Pretty silly, I know It took me a loooong time to realize that I was different, and when I did figure it out I felt like something was wrong with me. My mother knows I am a sexy asexy, but she PRAYS (literally prays) that I will change my ways and like guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 My answers were no, no yes. I never thought I would be bi or gay. I always thought I would have a "fairy-tale ending" that heroes and heroines get at the end of Disney Movies. It took me a loooong time to realize that I was different, and when I did figure it out I felt like something was wrong with me. My mother knows I am a sexy asexy, but she PRAYS (literally prays) that I will change my ways and like guys. . . . I find it less offensive that she actually prays for you to change, than if she simpy refused to acknowledge it. I mean, she's doing right by her religion, and as someone who knows no one who actually prays, I find this image laughable. And, from you using the term 'sexy asexy', it seems you're comfortable enough without her support. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 My answers were no, no yes. I never thought I would be bi or gay. I always thought I would have a "fairy-tale ending" that heroes and heroines get at the end of Disney Movies. It took me a loooong time to realize that I was different, and when I did figure it out I felt like something was wrong with me. My mother knows I am a sexy asexy, but she PRAYS (literally prays) that I will change my ways and like guys. I hope your mother comes to truly accept you for who you are. I completely identify with the Disney movie thing! That is perfect. I guess I always thought that I would meet 'prince charming', we'd hold hands, my disgust of the idea of kissing would melt away. We'd kiss. And then we'd live happily ever after, whatever that meant. Just some hazy and unimportant future because I would be 'happy'. Exactly like a movie my imagination would skip sex scenes entirely and skip most of the romance too. It was a rude shock to realise that the movies lied to me, and people actualy had lots of sex, instead of the occasional, tasteful 'fade to black'. I'm aro-ace Sometimes I also felt like I hadn't 'grown up' properly, maybe because of my mental health issues. I feel better now, knowing I did grow up, my sexuality and maturity did arrive. But my sexuality was NOPE Link to post Share on other sites
it'sfinnagain Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 For me I always assumed I was pansexual because I was not more attracted to any one gender than any other. I also never really thought there was something wrong with me because I had no idea what sexual attraction even really was. I think this is because while a lot of asexual people go to great lengths to describe how their own attraction works, sexual people often assume that everyone understands already, so because I didn't really understand sexual attraction I assumed that I had it and simply didn't realize it. It wasn't until I found an informational piece describing both asexuality and allosexuality that I saw that my previous understanding of myself was skewed. Link to post Share on other sites
The Emerald Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 My answers were no, no yes. I never thought I would be bi or gay. I always thought I would have a "fairy-tale ending" that heroes and heroines get at the end of Disney Movies. It took me a loooong time to realize that I was different, and when I did figure it out I felt like something was wrong with me. My mother knows I am a sexy asexy, but she PRAYS (literally prays) that I will change my ways and like guys. . . . I find it less offensive that she actually prays for you to change, than if she simpy refused to acknowledge it. I mean, she's doing right by her religion, and as someone who knows no one who actually prays, I find this image laughable. And, from you using the term 'sexy asexy', it seems you're comfortable enough without her support. Yeah, although I do appreciate her trying she doesn't think I will "burn in hell" for it. I am actually leaning to the homoromantic asexual side BUT I am trying to at least befriend guys. I told her I might get a girlfriend because I feel so much closer to them. She said it "would be hard, would be hard..." whatever the heck that means. I swear, sometimes idk what she thinks of it. I did grow up in a family where mom was a lot more stronger ( emotionally) than my dad... but when I first told her (and when I mentioned my feelings again due to a problem) she gave me the whole "well, maybe it's because you've been brought up like this" spiel. I am happy how I am. I have pondered on my feelings for literally a long time now (almost every day) and I feel so happy that I found myself. I think 2012 was the year I found a few more pieces of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
paperwishes Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 No, no, yes. BUT I did wonder if I could be gay as a kid because I was aesthetically attracted to girls. But I never thought I was seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
lapat67 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 It's rather difficult to know you are something you don't know exists. Quite. I'm 47. I recently read the novel "The best of all possible worlds" by Karen Lord. One of the characters in there is asexual. That led me to google it, and find out that I'm one. Thank you, Karen Lord. Very much indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Strawberry_Star Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Yes I thought that. Well I have had crushes on both genders from a young age but they weren't sexual crushes, I just really liked them as in I admire them and want to be their friend I suppose... lol. My previons ex boyfriends both said I'm probably lesbian then but I found that no that isn't the case either. Im certain now that I'm romantic asexual as I still fall in love, just don't want seX. Link to post Share on other sites
C8H7N3O2 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 No. Yes. No. Before asexual I merely bounced around from title to title. I did for a split second consider bisexuality until I realized it was more complicated than that. I stuck with "open minded" for a considerable amount of time, and I still consider myself as such, even though the specifics have changed. At the very end I even refused to use the stock identifiers completely.. until I did some detective work and found out there are SO many more titles/tags in existence! As for the something being wrong with me.. absolutely not. I knew I was different for sure and I embraced it. I have had crushes on people of both genders but it took me a while to realize that my crushes weren't "typical" and that I simply appreciated their aesthetics and wanted to be their friends. Only one person has ever asked if I were ace.. and that freaked me out because I didn't think I gave off any sort of ~vibes~. I think I have told one rl friend and who knows, with it being a new year and all, I might not dodge the subject so hard if others ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Reilly Ryugazaki Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 For a while I thought I was bisexual because I was attracted to all genders equally (meaning not at all, I was just kind of indifferent), so discovering asexuality was like finally figuring out there was an "none of the above" option, which made so much more sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Skaiya Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 No, No, Yes. But saying this I don't know it either. I fall for personality, not for the outside of the person. So far I just talked to boys and girls and only felt a crush for a boy. But who knows, maybe one day I like the personality of a girl. I did think some heavily thing was wrong with me but that's clearing as I write this. Link to post Share on other sites
JosephLn Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I still identify as gay but didn't really understand a lot of things and thought I was weird because of my reaction to stuff around sex. I also identified as bi for a while. Definitely thought there was something wrong though Link to post Share on other sites
LiaMarie Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I just thought I was broken. I liked boys and girls but all I really wanted were close friends and cuddles... Link to post Share on other sites
Karret Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I never really thought about it a whole lot. Still don't, honestly. XDa Though a bit more than before. If someone did the "are you gay, straight, or bi?" question, I would always answer with "or" XDa I also discovered my experience before figuring out about asexuality was that I was roughly the complete opposite of most everyone else who dealt with it. I thought something was wrong with everyone else and I was the normal one. Like they were just "Oooohh!! look at me I'm sooo cool and adult because I have a bf/gf/teh secks" like when kids start smoking or drinking to be "cool." And they just would get so melodramatic about things "oh, I won't hang out with so and so because they dated blah blah or tried to break up so and so" guh.. no. just.. no. = 3= And I found it amusing how so many people were so wrapped up in it, but I just didn't get involved in it. Luckily, no one really cared, but I don't think I would have cared anyways, because I've never really cared what other people think about how I act or what I do/don't do. Link to post Share on other sites
KyrynKhaz Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Before AVEN, I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I didn't think I was gay, or bi, or even straight really. It was hard, cause people would ask what guys I liked, and then what girls I liked, and I always had this hard time of explaining neither, and then I invariably got asked if that meant I was into animals or something else gross and horrible... Ugh. It was mortifying, and left me feeling like some kind of freak cause I couldn't give a proper answer. No one seemed to understand what I don't want sex meant. Even now, I get treated like a loser cause I don't want to date anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
AceEnergy6 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Never though I was Homosexual but I did thought I was Bi. First Hetero, then Bi then Pan then Bi again. Like this: (Heterosexual > Bisexual > Pansexual > Bisexual) Link to post Share on other sites
bittersweet988 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Before discovering I was asexual, I thought I had some mental illness :D because everyone believes sex is the best thing ever, so I was scared but curious at the same time and I wanted to try it too. So, when I did and didn't enjoy it at all, I convinced myself that I was not normal, until I found out I am asexual :) Link to post Share on other sites
SageMeadows Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 No, No, Yes (sort of) I've never thought I was anything but straight (although apparently a lot of people thought I was lesbian or bi in high school?). The yes is a sort of because I never really felt like anything was wrong with me, just... different. I always assumed that the way I experienced and perceived things was the norm and reading things online and talking to people that showed me it really wasn't puzzled me. I honestly didn't think into it too much until somewhat recently when I was reading about gray-asexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
Kisrah Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 No, no aaaaand... No. I always assumed I was straight. I found guys attractive, but in time realised this was just about aesthetics. No sexual attraction. Never felt that anything was wrong with me. I had other interests and always preferred my own company anyway, so I didn't really care about relationships. No interest in sex seemed to be a natural part of that. Link to post Share on other sites
jdwate Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 No, No and Yes. I never really found anyone attractive. I remember in like 6th grade everyone was talking about dating and crushes and I was like, "Um..What?" I thought something was wrong with me because at the start of high school, I had never dated anyone nor had I wanted to. After I had my hormones checked a few months later and everything was normal, the feeling got ten times worse. I got in a horribly abusive long distance relationship that lasted for two years. I did things I felt I had to because it was the "normal" thing to do. Luckily, I found Aven before I moved to live with him and I am truly grateful I did. Link to post Share on other sites
IceHurricane Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I voted yes, yes and yes. I used to have male crushes when I was in elementary school, but there was just no sexual attraction so my first thought was 'Hey, I must be gay!' so for a couple months I thought I was gay. (I was immature, and I had no knowledge about sexuality, don't judge :P ) I didn't know there were any other sexual orientations back then. I thought it was just straight or gay so in my mind when I noticed I didn't like boys the only other option is to like girls. Then I realized I didn't like girls either, so I was wondering what was going on. After I learned about bisexuality, I was like 'I like boys and girls equally (meaning not at all) so I must be bisexual!' and I've been saying I was bisexual from grades 8-10, and that's when I learned about asexuality, and learned that there really wasn't anything wrong with me after all. :lol: This process would have went a lot faster if different sexual orientations were taught in class <_< Link to post Share on other sites
EquationWorthSolving Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 No, yes(sort of) and no. I never really tried to stick a label on myself until I had a squish on one of my female friends which I assumed was this whole 'crush' deal that everyone seemed to be going on about. I sort of flitted between bisexual and pansexual, never really tried to classify myself further than that until I found out about asexuality. I never really thought anything was wrong with me, I thought something was wrong with everyone else and I was the normal one. Link to post Share on other sites
Cat7 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I knew, I wasn't gay. And I knew, I wasn't bi. So, until I looked deeper into it, I thought, I must be straight. After educating myself, I figured out, I was panromantic (romantic attraction regardless of gender) and demisexual (no sexual attraction without an emotional bond). I felt quite normal, but sometimes I was very confused, because people seem to expect me to feel certain ways, I just do not. Link to post Share on other sites
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