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Before You Knew You Were Asexual . . .


Ficulnean

Before You Knew You Were Asexual . . .  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. Did you think you were gay?

    • Yes
      99
    • No
      361
    • I always knew
      11
  2. 2. Did you think you were bi?

    • Yes
      187
    • No
      274
    • I always knew
      10
  3. 3. Did you think something was wrong with you?

    • Yes
      302
    • No
      190
    • I alway knew
      10

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So, before you knew you were asexaul did you get confused about what sexual orientation you might fall under, thinking things like "If I don't like the opposite gender, I must be gay."

I'm just curious because I see a lot of newcomers looking for support in this regard, and who thought stuff like that.

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My answers were no, yes, yes. After several crushes on guys and girls, I assumed I was bisexual. But then I always knew something wasn't quite right...I wasn't comfortable identifying as such because sex never entered the equation in my head or heart. I thought something was wrong because I didn't "fit in" with the other people I knew! Well, now I know what was up...and I'm so glad I discovered it. : )

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I voted no, no, yes. I knew i was hetero because i had crushes on guys, but i didn't know sexual attraction was a thing that existed and that people experienced. Because i've never felt it, i just didn't know what it was. I could hear people talking about being "turned on" and i didn't understand. I asumed i was a late bloomer. I started worrying about being too late when i was 17, 18. At 18 i found out the word. The relief if finding the word "asexual" wasn't instant. For some months i felt more broken than ever.

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I answered no, no, and yes.

the yes on the last one is still kind of not super accurate because I didn't think I was broken so much as I just 'didn't get it' and that like the right relationship or getting married would fix it, like a switch would just get flipped and on my wedding night my brain would be like 'YES, THERE IS IT. THE THING'

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No, no and yes for me. It wasn't that I wasn't attracted. I was attracted (though rarely and under very special circumstances, which is why I now identify as demi-romantic), I just wasn't sexually attracted. I didn't think sex was fun, or interesting, or attractive. When I appeared to be the only one who was not only uninterested in sex but also repulsed (this changed) by it, I confronted the people I trusted, all of whom thought I was broken. Quite literally, my friend used that word. "You're broken." What was I supposed to think? Praise AVEN for rescuing me from that!

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No, no, yes. I didn't understand how people knew they wanted to have sex with someone. I thought they just consciously decided. I tried to force relationships, but of course it never worked out. I thought I was broken. Finding AVEN changed that.

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Sockstealingnome

I considered the idea of bisexuality but something just didn't seem right with the label so I never adopted it. No, I never thought anything was wrong with me. I'm kind of used to being different so this wasn't that big of a deal.

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I think the time period leading uo to me discovering my asexuality was a scary moment for me, there where a lot of thoughts that I was a freak or that there was something really wrong with me for not feeling sexual attraction to others at my school and wanting a relationship. But it turned out for the better at the end of it all.

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My answers were no, no, no. I never had any crushes on girls, and I never really had many crushes on guys either. I could look at someone of either gender, and think "Yeah, they're hot" but I was never actually attracted to them, if that makes sense. Also, I never thought something was wrong until about the time I discovered asexuality. Before that, I simply never thought about it. It never crossed my mind that I should be attracted to people, and it never bothered me that I wasn't.

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If I thought I was pansexual, does that mean I should answer "yes" to all three? :unsure:

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Yes, yes and yes.

There was always something wrong with me.

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If I thought I was pansexual, does that mean I should answer "yes" to all three? :unsure:

. . . I'm going to slowly walk away and pretend that there aren't 20 more things I should now add to my poll. Yes though, if you thought there was also something wrong with that (for a yes to the third one). Just telling us about it here lets us not mistake your answers as necessarily falling into what I've outlined.

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RoswellValentine

Yes, no, and no. I first thought I was straight, then I thought I was gay. I never thought I was bi.

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Ugh, yes. I thought I was straight for the majority of my life, but in the late teen years (I think I was sixteen) I started questioning myself. Then I started wondering if maybe I liked girls instead. And when I found no real preference, I started worrying that I was bi (worry being because I come from a Christian family and. . .well, I'm sure most of you know how a lot of Christians feel about the LGBTA+ community. . .). Even after I found out about asexuality and thought it fit, I went through a bit of denial and went through a circle of thinking I was gay, straight, or bi for awhile.

Rough stuff, but yeah.

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Void in Color

I just kind of didn't really think about it. By the time I realized that other people did, I already knew what asexuality was, so I was just like, oh, ok, that makes sense.

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Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

I said no, no, yes. I suspected I might not be 'straight' I think, but I also new I wasn't into females either. I'd had about 3 crushes all on males, but not enough to think I was normal hetero. So yeah, I think I knew something was off, but not what.

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Quintus Crinis

I selected no, yes, yes. I didn't think I was gay although I'd wondered if it was possible since I knew I wasn't straight. Eventually I figured I'm slightly more interested in women but could find myself interested in guys so decided to consider myself bisexual, even though I knew it wasn't quite right still.

For feeling broken - I had many other things that made me stick out, whether I felt broken directly because of being asexual however I'm not sure so selected yes because I certainly thought I was odd (often non-human or alien), but as I say it wasn't all because of asexuality,

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I called myself pansexual. Not too far from the truth since I am panromantic.

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Wait a second, has no one always knew they were asexual? Or is my wording confusing. And yeah, if your answer isn't here then just post it in the dicussions.

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I never thought I was gay because I've always been aesthetically attracted towards girls, I just never wanted to have sex with them. I never had a shred of interest in guys other than as friends.

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I always knew that I was not gay or bi. Until this year I never really truly knew that women held no attraction either. I always thought my disinterest was due to fear that people would see how underdeveloped I was "down there", which I now have been told the cause is suspected XXY.

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Well, I never really thought I was straight to being with. ^_^ I sort of assumed that since it wasn't clear and I didn't know for sure I shouldn't bother myself with it. It would open to me one day.

When I was younger I sometimes thought that I was bi or just lesbian because boys weren't that interesting or attractive. Soon I realized that girls weren't either. And after that I thought that well, I guess I could be attracted to pretty much anyone; girl, guy, trans, non-binary etc (back then I didn't know this was just aesthetic attraction) so I shrugged and thought that okay, I'm pansexual.

I didn't really realize I wasn't sexually attracted to anyone because I thought that people would usually first fall in love and get sexually attracted to each others later (gosh, I was so weird when I was younger :huh: ).

I also thought a lot about me being asexual but during my teenage years the definition of asexual was pretty much that an asexual didn't never ever feel the sexual attraction. The whole asexuality felt so final that I kinda got scared of it. What if I one day felt sexual attraction to someone? What would I be then?

When I got older, I just kinda forgot the whole sexuality thing and rolled through my life until I had my very first crush on a classmate at university.

Now that I think about it, it wasn't very sexual crush. She was just so sweet and kind and adorable and great looking. We were into same things and ye. When I left the uni for another the crush just kinda passed and I was, again, at the beginning.

And then my dear friend mentioned something about me being asexual or demisexual and we researched for it and suddenly I was looking at the definition that felt just right. It felt too easy that I didn't even believe it at first. :D But ye, I'm happy to say that I'm panromantic asexual (maybe demi? I'm not sure and don't really care at the moment).

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I´ve never suspected I might be a lesbian or bisexual. I thought I am just too depressed, insecure about myself and have trust issues (which is true anyway, everything).

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Wait a second, has no one always knew they were asexual? Or is my wording confusing. And yeah, if your answer isn't here then just post it in the dicussions.

It's rather difficult to know you are something you don't know exists. Seriously, we have a visibility problem. I had no idea. there wasn't a SexEd class in which the discussion focused on *Why sex is not always part of a relationship.* We didn't speak of homosexuality either, not much, but it was mentioned in passing. Asexuality wasn't. Not in literature either, or culture, or humanities, or science and I can keep listing classes in which this wasn't mentioned, whereas sex of all kinds was. I thought it was of all kinds at any rate. I never knew there was such a thing as pansexuality either. I blame my education for that too. And don't even get me started on the concept of trans*. These are all things I have later found useful in learning about and understanding myself, but I never knew until I was 17. I'm guessing a lot of us have that problem. We didn't know it existed, so how could we know we identified with it? This is the only reason I think labels are important, actually.

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I always knew I wasn't gay, because I had absolutely no desire to have sex with another woman. I did go through a brief "maybe I'm bi" phase in my head, because even though I knew I wasn't attracted to girls, I wasn't really attracted to guys either, so my attraction to both genders was actually pretty equal. I never publicly identified as bisexual though, because that didn't seem to fit entirely and I didn't want to "come out" unless I was sure.

I kind of always knew something was different between me and my peers, but at the same time I didn't want to acknowledge it and so I ignored it as best I could until I found out about asexuality.

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Spectre/Ex/Machina

1st I thought that I was Heterosexual ,then when I was 13 I thought I was Bisexual, when I was 17 I thought I was Pansexual and finally figured out I was Asexual when I was 22.

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Mysterywriter221

No, no, yes.

The first time I mentioned to anyone that I thought I might be asexual it was to an ob/gyn. She tried to strong arm me into hormone therapy for it. I refused but I went from feeling confused to feeling broken because of her.

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