Amy Ghost Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't think too much of it.... then again I never dated anyone..... :P I do like partner, and I really like partner in crime [thank you tenebrae!!!!!] I'll probably think of some weird name to replace the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing.... thats probably gonna happen The word partner doesn't sound so nice. It's like you are talking about a business partner Oh my gush, thank you! Huh, What for? Haha ^~^ It's just that partner is too simple, too shallow, and you expressed that perfectly! We need better words! ^~^ Some words might be Beloved; Sweetheart. Or gender neutral Significant Other; Boo; Goyfriend, or like my and Hayden's Datefriend Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't think too much of it.... then again I never dated anyone..... :P I do like partner, and I really like partner in crime [thank you tenebrae!!!!!] I'll probably think of some weird name to replace the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing.... thats probably gonna happen The word partner doesn't sound so nice. It's like you are talking about a business partner Oh my gush, thank you! Huh, What for? Haha ^~^ It's just that partner is too simple, too shallow, and you expressed that perfectly! We need better words! ^~^ Some words might be Beloved; Sweetheart. Or gender neutral Significant Other; Boo; Goyfriend, or like my and Hayden's Datefriend Aw ^~^ But none of those work for her. She's too perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ The fact that we are our own person and don't belong to each other is kind of an important thing to me and my mister, though. It's odd, because we're both working on opening ourselves to the possibility of really truly being a "we" and not a "you and I", but at the same time we find it important to make the distinction that we are our own person still. It's hard to explain. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ The fact that we are our own person and don't belong to each other is kind of an important thing to me and my mister, though. It's odd, because we're both working on opening ourselves to the possibility of really truly being a "we" and not a "you and I", but at the same time we find it important to make the distinction that we are our own person still. It's hard to explain. I get what you're saying. It makes plenty of sense to retain that independence. But with her, I'm looking to be by her side as much as possible, functioning with her as one unit ^~^ Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ The fact that we are our own person and don't belong to each other is kind of an important thing to me and my mister, though. It's odd, because we're both working on opening ourselves to the possibility of really truly being a "we" and not a "you and I", but at the same time we find it important to make the distinction that we are our own person still. It's hard to explain. I get what you're saying. It makes plenty of sense to retain that independence. But with her, I'm looking to be by her side as much as possible, functioning with her as one unit ^~^ One unit. That's something I don't totally feel safe with at this point. I kinda like the idea two units functioning together, able to function alone, but not able to reach their full extent of capabilities without being connected to the other. Two units conjoined in this vast world of creatures floating around. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Relevant tumblr post I think I've gotta start calling my partner my mulkvisti. They are agendered and I liked not using boyfriend/girlfriend near the beginning partly because I think it encouraged me to look at my partner as... well, a partner and not something new and shiny. I'm against personfriend for myself for that very reason. Mulkvisti seems to fit us perfectly Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. If anyone is into The Immortal Instruments, you'll understand this reference. I've been dreaming of finding a parabatai for several years now, though that would essentially be my closest queerplatonic. I don't really feel like my romantic partner could be parabatai in my eyes. I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ The fact that we are our own person and don't belong to each other is kind of an important thing to me and my mister, though. It's odd, because we're both working on opening ourselves to the possibility of really truly being a "we" and not a "you and I", but at the same time we find it important to make the distinction that we are our own person still. It's hard to explain. I get what you're saying. It makes plenty of sense to retain that independence. But with her, I'm looking to be by her side as much as possible, functioning with her as one unit ^~^ One unit. That's something I don't totally feel safe with at this point. I kinda like the idea two units functioning together, able to function alone, but not able to reach their full extent of capabilities without being connected to the other. Two units conjoined in this vast world of creatures floating around. I know people who skew more in that direction. But there's just something so perfect for me about working together on everything, being this amazing unit. ^~^ Link to post Share on other sites
bonny Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I like to think that if I ever have a significant other, I'd feel able to refer to them simply as "my friend". But then, I might be aromantic. Link to post Share on other sites
Tenebrae Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Really, now that this thread has been going on for a while, I've been thinking, sure my partner is my partner. But that's not how I actually refer to him or think of him. He just is. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronte Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 What about 'lover' ? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 11, 2014 Author Share Posted October 11, 2014 What about 'lover' ? Mff. Too sexual for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Panther Shark Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I hate saying boyfriend, only use to express who he is to me with people who do not know our quirks. Usually call him my love or Dragon/Dragon Wolf. I am Panther/Panther Shark (hence my name :D). I hate the term cute for us. I call us quirky. Cause that is what we are. Very very quirky. We are totally not your stereotypical romantics. Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I don't have any feelings about boyfriend or girlfriend, but then again I still have yet to date anyone. :/ I get the feeling that I wouldn't appreciate someone calling me their girlfriend, though I still have yet to find a way to transition to neutral. I did find a list of gender-neutral titles for a whole bunch of things from relationships to family, and I've looked at it while thinking to myself "It'd be nice if I could use ____ and _____ instead of ------ and ------." Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. Yup, I'm trying my best to avoid "my"-constructions in regard to people, too, for this very reason. However, "partners" does work just fine for the type of relationship that R. and I share with each other. That, and the delightfully geeky "shipmates". :) I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ Heh. Making things sound romantic is a big reason for me not to start using it... :P Link to post Share on other sites
Bronte Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 What about 'lover' ? Mff. Too sexual for me. To me lover isn't sexual at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 "Partner" is good if you're a cowboy...I think "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" are fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 "Partner" is good if you're a cowboy...I think "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" are fine. I no longer like the term partner. I am now as lost as anybody else in regards to what to call people I have a romantic relationship with. I suppose I can just refer to them as "people I have a romantic relationship with" from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
canguy Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Sometimes I hate boyfriend and girlfriend but even more than that I have a deep, deep hatred for bae and daddy. Makes me want to puke. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. Saying "my" doesn't necessarily imply ownership though. To use a recent example, I was talking to somebody regarding "my doctor". I obviously don't own my doctor in any way. She's just the person I happen to see for my various doctory needs. "Partner" is good if you're a cowboy...I think "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" are fine. Don't cowboys typically say it as "pardner"? In any event, the term exists well outside that particular sort of context >_> Link to post Share on other sites
Tenebrae Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I would dearly love to own my doctor or dentist. Then I could take them out when they do something wrong and make them fix it. But yea. MY is just showing that its yours in a way that it might not be YOURS. My partner (and in this respect we are partners, We share in everything equally. Which is what I believe the term conveys) is MY partner. He's not Philips' or Superhorace's. Link to post Share on other sites
kwurks Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 As a gender fluid person who's dating a gender fluid person, we've never had he problem of 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but it has always felt to me, like other people here I guess, a little childish. Not that that's a bad thing of course but it really doesn't fit my relationship. I tend to go for 'datemate' because it's a very equal and neutral term but also 'partner' of course to people either of us might not be out to, or people maybe of the older generation who wouldn't understand what 'datemate' is. If both of these fail, 'person I'm dating' works just as well to clarify :3 Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I hate that people couple together period. It doesn't make sense. Why can't people live in groups!? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 I hate that people couple together period. It doesn't make sense. Why can't people live in groups!? A great question. I sometimes wonder the the crumb people don't group. But there's something so special, so magical about a couple. It's just magic. Two is even great for friends. Two best friends are always closer than three. Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Ficulnean Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I hate that people couple together period. It doesn't make sense. Why can't people live in groups!? A great question. I sometimes wonder the the crumb people don't group. But there's something so special, so magical about a couple. It's just magic. Two is even great for friends. Two best friends are always closer than three. Does that make sense? I can't manage multiple relations well, but would still like one at least! Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I used to do the whole "my person" thing, but, eh, I dislike saying something that hints at ownership. I don't own him, he's allowed to leave at anytime, or to make his own decisions, or ect. He's not my belonging, my pet, or anything else like that. I've taken to calling him my mister to certain people, but I feel like it gives a slightly different connotation than "my person". I don't really favor the whole calling him my partner thing, it just feels too stiff to me. Yup, I'm trying my best to avoid "my"-constructions in regard to people, too, for this very reason. However, "partners" does work just fine for the type of relationship that R. and I share with each other. That, and the delightfully geeky "shipmates". :) I used to not be comfortable with calling her "mine" for the same reason. But I started because it makes things sound more romantic, and now I'm used to it ^~^ Heh. Making things sound romantic is a big reason for me not to start using it... :P Shipmates! I love shipmates! Link to post Share on other sites
Amathy Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I have issues with any gendered words so I'm often looking for substitutes which often leads to ambiguity. Luckily I don't care how other people percieve my relationship so I just introduce my best friend to them and let them be confused when we act like a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
ChainSmokingBob Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I would personally only ever use 'partner'. I don't think anything else evokes quite the same respectful impression, and that's what it's all about to me. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperHorace Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 I would personally only ever use 'partner'. I don't think anything else evokes quite the same respectful impression, and that's what it's all about to me. Thank you. It's that respect. But the thing is, it's different when you're together. I respect my sweet to the ends of the earth--trust me. There are lots of things about her that most guys would be disturbed about, but I just love them because they make her her. ^~^ Being in a relationship should have all the respect in the world. It should have, in fact, a heightened sense of respect. But there's this magic about it. You have this natural need to come up with affectionate names (Is that just me? I could list out all of mine for my sweet ^~^ I'd probably miss some), and using these affectionate names shows how much you love your (Sweet, partner, partner in crime, shipmate, etc.), and it just makes everything better. Maybe partner works if you want to achieve some distance, but I personally don't want to be distanced from my sweet. If I could, I'd be next to her 24/7, making a perfect team with her. It'd be weird to see one of us without the other. Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
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