Aesthetic attraction or am I just creepy?

[tootoolah]

I apologize in advance if there are already hundreds of threads about this, but I just had to ask..

Sometimes I see people I want to look at (that's it, nothing sexual, nothing romantic). I just think there is something about them and I forget about social rules and stare like crazy. Sometimes it's a person who looks very pretty (not just to me, but most people I know) and I look at them the way I look at a nice painting. Though, most of the times it’s a person who no one else seems to notice, but to me they really stand out.

Nothing really goes through my head while I look at people like this. I usually don’t even notice that I’m staring until someone points it out to me. Once, I actually sort of stalked a customer around the store where I used to work, just to be able to look at them for a while (it was quite innocent, I promise, even though it sounds terrible xD).

Anyway, what I wanted to ask was how you experience aesthetic attraction. Has anyone else stalked a customer around a store because it was nice to look at them, or do I have some sort of inner creep that's trying to get out sometimes?

[Cheery]

Not exactly stalked, but I've done the staring thing. XD Usually look away quickly when they notice and look at me. I kinda get the same feeling when I see someone I think looks pretty or interesting. I also stare at people randomly when I'm thinking and only notice when the other person stares back.

[EmotionalAndroid]

Yes, I think this is aesthetic attraction, from my understanding of it. I experience this often as well and understand the urge to just want to look at someone!

Before I knew about asexuality, I always thought that most people simply confused aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction. I just thought I was the only one who didn't confuse them and could find someone aesthetically pleasing without feeling physical attraction toward them. It is just like how people like certain colors over others, or like to look at particular paintings because they look nice.

[Zapstileon]

As my profile suggests, I have a huge thing for aesthetic beauty. Seriously, there are people (and I have friends and family who can testify to my having pointed it out) whom I would like to have standing in a corner of my house so I could just stare at them. Because sweet lord they are beautiful. Just that. Not 'hot' or 'sexy' or anything like that. Just absolutely beautiful. I could give you a list of handpicked celebrities that I've done this with. Not to mention people I've met, although if they are someone I interact with frequently, I usually tell them as much. "Forgive me if I stare, but you are very beautiful." They are usually surprisingly okay with that - and very self-conscious.

I have never needed any more than that from these people, just to stand there and stare at them. That's what I like about some celebrities. They really don't know you stare at them (and anyway, they expect it) so it kind of isn't as creepy.

Some people are works of art, man. I'd just love to have them standing around for show. (Surprisingly, though, I am against things like posters and t-shirts with people's face on them. I find that a weird kind of creepy.)

[Sockstealingnome]

I've never stalked anyone because I found them physically attractive but I do find myself drawn to looking at them, however, as someone who is not unfamiliar with how uncomfortable getting stared at can make you feel, I make it a point to only glance.

[Sally]

I stare at people as though they were animated statues. I know there have been times when it's made them uncomfortable, because they put all sorts of interpretations on it that are incorrect. Staring to most people means creepy, not aesthetically attracted.

[romantic-woman]

I have this too and it is annoying. When a nice guy passes next to me i am like as you said "Oh look at a nice painting". I just want to stay there and admire him without noticing anything around of him. It is creepy hahaha but well they can feel safe at least!

[thatotherguy57]

Definitely aesthetic attraction. I have this too, though I've never followed someone through a store.

[tootoolah]

So the stalking was a bit over the top, but I'm not alone about the rest. Good. All right. I feel a hundred times better now xD

[Beyourownspotlight]

I think it's a part of human nature to appreciate something that is nice to look at.

Be it a painting, a flower, a cute animal, or a person.

I really do appreciate aesthetically pleasing people. I love to look at nice looking people. It might be something as simple as I enjoy their smile, or the way their eyes crinkle at the corners. But I do enjoy looking at good looking people. I think most people do. I've never followed someone just to look at them before, though. And I'm sure someone is going to be offended by this -- but it is a little creepy following someone.

Staring can be purely accidental. Sometimes I space out and stare at something, then someone will block what I'm staring at, and I won't even notice I'm now staring at a person (I tend to day dream, particularly if I have to take public transport on my own, or if I'm tired).But I think actively following someone to look at them is a little creepy. Like, it's a concious choice to make your feet move in the same direction, and it made me shudder just thinking about it.

I'm not saying you had an ulterior motive or anything insane like that, I'm just saying to answer your question, to me, yes it is a little creepy.

[SuperHorace]

My only crush, who is my current sweet-sweet (She's perfect) and I probably didn't work so well at first because I just had to look at her all time. She's just so inexplicably amazing. She's divine. There's something deeply angelic, deeply different about her. She's an endless pool of amazing. I constantly feel like I'm falling for her all over again. She's so perfect. But she said the "stalking" was creepy. I might have followed her a little... But I just had to be near her, to know what she was doing, to see her... her smile melts me ^~^ Oh my gosh, I love her ^~^

[Gizamaluke]

Objectification is rampant in our cultures, and have been for a very long time, so it's not unlikely that a certain physical attribute would stir even the most unlikely of people. Curves, fitness, stuff like that... Objectification of human parts essentially explains this, in my opinion. You don't like the person, you don't want to have sex with them, but you like how something on them looks or matches to a cultural ideal.

[paperwishes]

As my profile suggests, I have a huge thing for aesthetic beauty. Seriously, there are people (and I have friends and family who can testify to my having pointed it out) whom I would like to have standing in a corner of my house so I could just stare at them. Because sweet lord they are beautiful. Just that. Not 'hot' or 'sexy' or anything like that. Just absolutely beautiful. I could give you a list of handpicked celebrities that I've done this with. Not to mention people I've met, although if they are someone I interact with frequently, I usually tell them as much. "Forgive me if I stare, but you are very beautiful." They are usually surprisingly okay with that - and very self-conscious.

I have never needed any more than that from these people, just to stand there and stare at them. That's what I like about some celebrities. They really don't know you stare at them (and anyway, they expect it) so it kind of isn't as creepy.

Some people are works of art, man. I'd just love to have them standing around for show. (Surprisingly, though, I am against things like posters and t-shirts with people's face on them. I find that a weird kind of creepy.)

All of this is exactly me haha. Except I have pictures/posters all over my wall of said beautiful famous/semi-famous people.

[butterflydreams]

I definitely relate to much of what people have said here, but I get really uncomfortable staring at people. I think I've declared it culturally inappropriate in my own little world.

For me though, in addition to just finding someone beautiful and wanting to stare, I also (maybe more often) get drawn to people who look like people I've known or liked in the past. I have a hard time remembering faces, so people who were important to me are really burned into memory hard. Any little attribute I see that triggers the memory draws me to the person. Sometimes it even takes me a while to figure out what the particular feature is and who it reminds me of. All of this leads to staring, and me feeling weird because I don't understand, and certainly not thinking beyond that moment.

This is why I like cars. I get the same feeling, but people don't care if you stare at a nice car.

[Diceman]

There was a girl in high school who's daily routine I got to know, which classes she went to at what time, where she'd take her breaks, so whenever possible I'd try to walk past her in between classes so I could get to see her. I finally asked her out during Senior year and was shot down.

"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson learned is never try."

-Homer Simpson

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I apologize in advance if there are already hundreds of threads about this, but I just had to ask..

Sometimes I see people I want to look at (that's it, nothing sexual, nothing romantic). I just think there is something about them and I forget about social rules and stare like crazy. Sometimes it's a person who looks very pretty (not just to me, but most people I know) and I look at them the way I look at a nice painting. Though, most of the times it’s a person who no one else seems to notice, but to me they really stand out.

Nothing really goes through my head while I look at people like this. I usually don’t even notice that I’m staring until someone points it out to me. Once, I actually sort of stalked a customer around the store where I used to work, just to be able to look at them for a while (it was quite innocent, I promise, even though it sounds terrible xD).

Anyway, what I wanted to ask was how you experience aesthetic attraction. Has anyone else stalked a customer around a store because it was nice to look at them, or do I have some sort of inner creep that's trying to get out sometimes?

You must go a step further to understand this behavior. Were you hoping to strike up a conversation with this person, or hoping to chance a friendship, relationship, or otherwise? That is missing from your description and it seems that you were looking at them simply to appreciate the way they look only.

Are you being completely honest with yourself, or are you in denial of being sensually (or even sexually) attracted?

Finally, please try to refrain from using the term "creepy." That is a derogatory term often applied to men (and sometimes women) who wish to pursue getting to know or getting close to someone else they find attractive or interesting. This is normal behavior but the term seeks to pathologize it which is not healthy.

When I am drawn to a woman because of how she looks, I sometimes initiate a simple conversation to guage if she is friendly. It is axiomatic that friendship has a physical attraction component that most people do not recognize. Whatever the case, it is alright to be drawn to certain other people and you should do what most people do and act on it if you can. A simple hello, a compliment on an article of clothing, or mentioning that they resemble someone can do wonders.

Challenge the limits of your comfort zone, and lose the preoccupations of being "innocent," "creepy" and know that what you are attracted to is all alright.

[MadRat]

I didn´ t stalk anyone through the shop or someting like this but I probably stare at some people like creepy weirdo. I often wear sunglasses, so they probably can´t notice it.

[Philip027]

To me, that's the very definition of aesthetic attraction: you are drawn to the person (aka: attracted) based on their appearance.

[Greyt]

I've never stalked anyone but I do occasionally catch myself staring at people. Funny thing is that I've been accused of staring at people in the past, except that I wasn't staring at them, and for the most part I wasn't even interested in them. I was just staring off into space and they just happened to be standing there... and then make up all this bullshit because of it.

[marki]

I have had to teach myself to not stare at people because I am obvious about it. Actually once at school I was walking down a hall and saw two girls who looked nice so as I was staring at them I suddenly heard one of them say my name and it turns out I actually knew these girls and didn't recognize it so that was stupidly embarrassing. Yeah...lucky for me most of the girls who live here are not what I consider attractive so I don't stare very often at all.

[tootoolah]

Well, I used the term stalk very freely. I was working and I just stayed around the area where the customer was for a little longer than was actually neccessary. It was simply something I did without realizing it at first and once I did it felt pretty embarrassing and odd to me. And I'm well aware that staring is rude and I certainly never do it when I'm completely aware of it (I feel uncomfortable when I notice people staring at me too). This very rarely happens and it's usually nothing more than a person who passes on the street, not much time for looking really.

And no, I've never felt I needed to talk or get closer to the person in any way. I feel as much need talking to these people as I do speaking to any other stranger I see.