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struggling with demi asexuality


meg.iguess

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so not to long ago I began labelling myself as grey/demi asexual- it explains a lot of things for me and I feel very comfortable with it/myself, and I've continued on in my normal way. however recently i was both romantically and sexually approached by one of my very close guy friends, and was half convinced I was attracted to him- after about 3 weeks of complete confusion I've yet again come to the crashing realisation that I'm just not attracted to him, or anyone at all so far, in that way. how do I let him down without hurting his feelings, and does anyone else ever kind of get half way into a new relationship and then have a realisation like this?

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Even allosexuals lose steam in the middle of a relationship. It's okay. Just tell him it's not working out for you anymore and end it. No need to tell him about demisexuality or anything, as this is something that can happen to anyone.

You can't prevent yourself from hurting him, but you need to do what's best for yourself. And in any case, it's better for him to be single than to be with someone who doesn't want to be in the relationship.

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you don't plan on continuing the relationship then there is little you can do besides end things, though I would advise trying to be nice about it. But why worry about being attracted to him, sexually or otherwise? My girlfriend and I are not sexually attracted, and as I am demisexual it took a long time for me to feel any form of attraction towards her. As she is asexual her only attraction to me (at least initially) was romantic (we're both die-hard romantics). If the two of you make each other happy, why worry about it. If you're not happy together then perhaps it is time to move on.

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