What is Love?

[SithLord]

Seriously, I want to know.

I know what it's like to have romantic feelings towards a person, but what does it mean to be in love with a person? Movies, TV shows, and books lie to me so I don't want to turn to them for the answer.

So for those who have been in love. What is it supposed to feel like?

[Zerο]

Obligatory: Baby don't hurt me~

[Guest]

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me

[Guest]

I know what loving someone feels, but "being in love" is a term I've repeatedly asked people to explain to me, and never go a sufficient explanation. A lot of folks seem to describe it in terms of limerence, and that's exactly the direction in which I understand the usual German translation of the term, "verliebt sein", according to my experience (I hate feeling verliebt, and am glad SSRI made me effectively aro seven years ago). But then there are other folks who say that "being in love" is only partly limerence, or even that limerence has nothing to do with it. Baaaarghhh.

I'm beginning to think "being in love" is hardly more than an empty shell of a pseudo-word, to be filled with whatever constitutes "partnershippy feelings" for you, personally. It likely doesn't really mean anything at all, objectively.

[Anime Pancake]

I do have a personal opinion or a view on what love is.

But this is just a personal experience that relates to me, it is in no way something that is universal.

For me, if I romantically 'love' someone it means that I like them so much, that even with all of their imperfections and flaws, I still think they are beautiful and perfect.

I can be in a relationship with someone and really like them, but who knows? If I've only been with them a short amount of time, several months in the future I may realize that I find them boring or that they have characteristics that I don't like. So I wouldn't even deeply like that person, let alone anything stronger than that.

However, once I feel like I know almost everything about a person's intentions, behaviour, personality, etc then I feel like I have the opportunity to decide if I truly 'love' them.

I don't use that word at all, when it comes to romantic relationships, because if I tell someone that I love them, I mean that I'm all in. I will do as much as I reasonably can to make the relationship work. Full devotion and effort.

I really dislike when someone says that they love someone else, then turns around and leaves that person. I've seen that a number of times, and I'm just like... eh?


Anyways, that's what I feel love is. Seeing everything about a person, the good and the bad, and still deciding that you love every part of them.

[deltaX]

I also get confused by what it means to be in love. I'm aro, and although I love a lot of my friends and family platonically, I've never experienced romantic love. People tell me being in love with a partner or a crush is so much different than being love love with someone platonically, but I just don't get it. :/

[Annapox]

I think of it as sort of a combination of very strong platonic love and very strong romantic feelings (whether that means attraction or just whatever feelings lead you to like being in a romantic relationship with the person). I mean, there's a reason a lot of people refer to their spouses as their best friends. Really strong romantic love also has a friendship aspect. So the two might feel very different, but one is just an extension of the other, the way I see it.

[romantic-woman]

I also get confused by what it means to be in love. I'm aro, and although I love a lot of my friends and family platonically, I've never experienced romantic love. People tell me being in love with a partner or a crush is so much different than being love love with someone platonically, but I just don't get it. :/

I always described falling in love as platonic subcategory of love. It is when you feel your heart beating everytime your significant other comes next to you or if you think of him-her.

I used to say it cause many people believe that if you fall in love you will be able to do things with your partner. This can be to a demisexual but for me was totally the same. Even with romantic attraction i only want just to be treated well and having people who care about me.

I think that another difference is that if you love someone romantically you feel jealous. You think something is missing if you are alone. But it depends, people give their definitions by their own experiences. For example i dont connect romantic love with all day together and sexual attraction. I can even feel it with someone who is far from me.

Love is a sweet, pure, nice feeling and fills your heart. Falling in love can be different from love , which means after some months people lose their first excitement and they are able to feel friends/brother love. You don't wanna lose the person but you are not so connected anymore.

Everyone can understand "love" when he/she will feel it. It is easier and more understandable than trying describing it by words.

[FiddleKid]

Love is something I have never and will never feel or understand

[MossyOwl]

If I could possibly describe what I think love is, I would say it's like being embraced by a warm wind continuously. You never feel cold, and their are birds in the sky and the flowers are in bloom and everything is as it should be and when you look into your partner's eyes, you can get lost in there for years.

[TheAceOfSpadesYo]

Some of these replies seem like a description out of a book. I have been close and cared about people, but saying I loved them would be a stretch. Have any of you been in love that could explain it in simple English? Does anyone else feel like "love" can not happen to you?

[defaultuser]

In one word - a concept.

I suppose you better ask this question on religious forums, these guys truly know what love is. Probably not in romantic sense, but still. How is it possible to be in love with a "person" is beyond me.

[Kuromi Akumura]

I think love is not romance or s*x. Romance is how society portrays it and s*x is not the ultimate form of love, Becuase you can f*ck anyone but only love a few, you can f*ck a stranger so how it that love?.
I once read a book on the catholic view of it to give me a better way to explain it. Love is unconditional, you don't say i will love you if you blah blah blah. You don't love someone for a trait they have you love someone for all of them. It is companionship, wanting to spend time with the person, not getting sick of them. feeling comfortable around them. Being intimate with someone, considering them before yourself, putting them first but without neglecting yourself. Love is loyal, generous, kind, honest, happiness and security. To you that person is reliable, you can put your faith into them and they won't let you down or leave you when you need them. sincere, they won't lie to you or hide something from you no matter how hard it is to take, because you know they will understand. You care about that persons dreams, future, hopes, hobbies, fears , insecurities ect . Lust is a cheap imitation of love. No matter how hard the time is or how broken the person is you can stay by their side and love them. It is being true to yourself and them, don't try to be someone you aren't to try and make them like you better because they will already love you for the real you. Don't take too much on your plate trying to show that person your love is real in times of doubt , you don't burden yourself ever. Love is not loving a piece or them or a side of them or a certain way they act love is the person. Most of all love is not sweet talk, smoothe talking, flirting, those are words that act like love but aren't the emotion. Love is trust, you trust them not to cheat, to use you, betray you ect if they do well that's more complicated. Love is not seeking intimacy from someone else just because the one you love isn't able to give it at that moment, it is not craving someone else it is not fighting the one you love because you just don't understand how they feel. Love is not seeking harm or ill-will of the person or for them to be in a situation they do something bad to others or themselves even if they defend it and are blinded by it ( drugs, an addiction, lust ect). Love is not putting others down or making them insignificant or neglecting others it is being able to balance then and others. You don't betray someone else for love. It is knowing what makes them hurt and avoiding that. Protecting them, fighting for them, defending, risking yourself for them but never anything else above them. Love does not fade or brake it needs fixing it does need help and effort but it never disappears if it does then that was not the pure love. Love is not a bodily urge or feeling it is not a romantic attraction or a sexual attraction it is commitment. Love has one form but different sides family love, lovers love, friend love, pet love, helping the stranger in need love ect. When you are alone you miss them, being with them makes you happy. When you are upset or hurting you seek their comfort.

well that's all i can brain storm for now ^^;;

and yes i am aromantic asexual i don't need romance or lust to love someone i love them platonically and intensely.

[RK800]

Time to get all metaphorical and ish:

Love is like the wind, not seen but felt. Itself invisible but what it does ever clear to the naked eye.

But seriously to me love is a feeling of connection to something or someone. It's wonderful but to me certainly doesn't mean s*x or romance.

I guess they can be connected but they aren't the same thing.

[Artistofnoname]

Foreigner - 'I Want To Know What Love Is' [Official Music Video]:

[Vestal]

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen. ― François de La Rochefoucauld

[Awesomer3]

I used to wonder a lot about what exactly being in love with someone, or just love in general is, and I mean there were what books and movies say and stuff but at the same time I figured it was probably different in real life. Whenever I was in a relationship with someone I knew I liked them but I could never figure out if I loved them or not since I wasn't sure exactly how it should feel, but then at some point I kind of figured it out. As my own luck turns out none of the people I was in a relationship with I ended up being in love with ^^; But my best friend in the whole wide world I came to the conclusion I was and still kind of am in love with. That relationship will never happen but that's ok because just being anble to hangout with her and be there for her makes me so happy. But this is the conclusion I've come to as to what it's like to be in love with someone, and it may sound a bit cheesy like in a book, but I've experienced it and personally feel that this is what it is:

Love is like having a super close bond with someone to the point where you trust them completely and care about them a lot. It's when for some reason the other person seems to be on your mind a lot of the time and who you would do anything for to make them happy, even if that means you would be unhappy. Kind of like if you would give them your last piece of starburst even if it was your favorite flavor. It's like when you can't ever seem to stay angry at them for more than a few minutes at most, if even that; and you find yourself content and happy just being around that person. They may not be your entire world like books say, but they are big enough of a part of it that if you lost them it would leave a pretty big hole in your heart.

Like I said I know it sounds a bit cheesy, sorry ^^; but like with the people I've dated I always questioned if I loved them, and just the act of questioning it was a sure fire sign that I didn't. But when you realize your brain doesn't hesitate to think you love them, that's when you actually do.

I mean to be fair though, I don't think platonic and romantic love are all that different when it really comes down to it. Romantic love is probably just a stronger and more obsessive form of it, like you are just more invested in that one person than you are anyone else, and more happy when you think about them. I don't know though, love is weird thing lol.