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What are your attitudes towards dating?


Pikanyaa

Attitudes towards dating  

  1. 1. What best describes your dating style?

    • I'm perfectly happy dating multiple strangers for fun in a short time frame.
      2
    • I enjoy dating for fun, but only one person at a time.
      4
    • I date people to get to know them, but only because I feel there's no better way.
      5
    • I only date a person once I've gotten to know them outside dating.
      44
    • I only date a person if I feel we have a good shot at making it a long term commitment.
      50
    • I "date" people platonically.
      20
    • I've never dated before or don't date often, but would like to.
      56
    • I don't date.
      55
    • Other
      10
  2. 2. If you don't date (often), why is that?

    • No romantic interest in people or intimate relationships
      59
    • Afraid of being criticized or judged
      29
    • Past bad experience
      25
    • Don't like the immediate expectation of romance implied by dating
      76
    • Too pricey
      12
    • Not enough time
      28
    • Never been asked out before or had another accept a request for a date
      45
    • Other
      56


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I've dated some people. It was always nice, they were nice people. But I just didn't feel exactly attached to them, and I have been alone for 2 years.

Don't feel like going on dates, nobody interesting around.

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msrosalindtang

I've never gone on a date before, but I oscillate back-and-forth between:

1) I should at least give it a try. Everybody seems to think it's so great!

2) Oh god, they're going to have expectations for intimacy and affection that I won't be able to meet. Abort.

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  • 1 month later...

I dont date because if my lack of romantic interest in people.

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SorryNotSorry

I didn't vote in the poll because I think of dating as a kind of job interview process for a life partner. That's why I don't treat dating so casually... the ones that don't work out (that's all of them so far) are just a waste of my time and resources

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Dating is hard, I have a hard time being with somebody just casually. If I date somebody I like to start thinking about things like, what will our lives be like 2-3 years from now. When I start talking like that people get uncomfortable.

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My ideal 'dating' situation is to host dinner parties and invite a lot of different people to my parties. I'd have the opportunity to talk with everyone, and I'd slowly assemble a small society of friends, people with whom I could socially connect with regularly, for the rest of my life. We'd be there for each other in a variety of ways. We'd leave plenty of room for each of us to go on with our lives independently.

Just a dream of mine. Don't know if I could make it happen.

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I don't date... Full stop. I find dating awkward because of its implied expectations. I've even stopped asking people I like to hang out because they always seem to either expect more or they mistakenly think I want more and drop me. Had enough of that and I'd rather not bother anymore.

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Conscientious Ghost

Dating people for me is like trying to knit a sweater with my feet. I can't do it without feeling frustration, and I also lack if not have any romantic attractions with anyone I meet or have met. One is likely looking for potential partners who they may invest and intertwine their lifespan with together when I think about the idea of dating. Although the experience would be lovely, it's not necessary. Solitude with occasional companionship sounds better to me.

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.diva plavalaguna.

I feel like two people. On one hand, I don't/won't date because ew romance and spending time with people? But on the other hand it really sucks that I haven't had the chance to experience something like it, and I might like it if I got to do it. So, there's that.

But really, nobody's been interested or I haven't been interested in anybody. Especially now, there is nobody around. I go to a huge school but most of the people I come across are just a part of a huge sea of faces that aren't looking at me. And I do not know what it is I do wrong - why is it so weird if someone you're friends with realizes they might have feelings for you and says something about it? I didn't befriend ya to get in your pants, lol. I just thought you were a cool person! (obv not speaking to anyone in particular, hah). I've basically never gone up to someone I didn't already know and ask if I could get to know them because I may/may not be romantically into them. I don't get that at all. I don't want to "date" someone I don't know.

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My main problem with dating is that I know they feel more/differently about it then I do. I enjoyed the fun of it before but eventually I had to grow up, and realise that being a heartbreaker is actually a bad thing, and that my entertainment isn't worth it if everyone is going to keep getting all emotionally entangled and make a big mess out of everything. Strict guidelines now.

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I can only date people I know outside of a relationship, typically online getting to know, since I am less socially awkward online. And only if I feel there is a chance at a long-term relationship.

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Squirrel Combat

I haven't really dated yet. Every girl I tried to ask out because I liked them either blew me off or rejected me for various reasons. The top reason being that they had a goddamn boyfriend already and I didn't do my homework in advance.

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I don't believe in dating. (sounds like a religion XD)

My reason is logic based. I view dating as some kind of semi short term temporary close relationship with someone else (although I could be wrong since going to the movies would imply a date).

If we assume a person lives to the age of 80 and this average person marries at the age of 30 - 35, then we can safely assume that more than 50% of this person's life span is spent in an intimate relationship with one specific person only.

If we were to assume say a long term dating relationship to last about 4 years and a short term dating relationship to last about 4 months, then dating is really just a waste of resources because it amounts to around only 5% of this persons life span being spent with someone, whereas marriage is more than 50%.

Therefore, one should logically skip dating and go straight to marriage because it dating pales in comparison to dating.

However, there is one issue in this model, western society generally views that one needs to date as a prerequisite to marriage.

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I hate that the attitude towards dating is that for anything to happen you need to "get yourself out there." So I constantly try and "get myself out there" and all it ever does is make me feel like I'm someone who no one wants (even before they know I'm asexual) and it makes me feel worse than if I just didn't try in the first place. I've put in the time, I've made the effort... at what point do I just give up because I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm not worth even taking a chance on. To quote one Roger Murtaugh- "I'm too old for this shit."

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FinallyReadyToBeHere

For some reason, I run into this problem where I'll date a guy and then somehow it leads into a more serious relationship when I don't want it too. And I just let it happen because I do not have the guts or brains to determine whether I am interested in that person or tell them that "hey, I had fun, but I would much rather have a platonic relationship with you". It usually turns out okay in the end but still, it stymies me how many relationships I have ended up in that I didn't actually want or need....

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For some reason, I run into this problem where I'll date a guy and then somehow it leads into a more serious relationship when I don't want it too. And I just let it happen because I do not have the guts or brains to determine whether I am interested in that person or tell them that "hey, I had fun, but I would much rather have a platonic relationship with you". It usually turns out okay in the end but still, it stymies me how many relationships I have ended up in that I didn't actually want or need....

I have ended up in a similar boat many a time.

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I've never dated, and truthfully I've never had any interest in what society seems to consider as "dating". I just think the whole idea of it is stupid.. I have nothing against romance and romantic relationships, and I think I would like one someday, but it will probably stem from a friendship and never involve "dates"

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I've never tried dating, but to be honest I've never really been that interested in it. I think I would only agree to date someone if we already knew each other very well and they had a romantic interest in me already. This "dating for the sake of dating" thing just doesn't feel right for me. I don't want to just date someone for the sake or being in a romantic relationship because I don't really care much about that, if I'm going to be in a romantic relationship with someone ever then I don't want to have to go looking for it. And if it never happens, then fine by me. I guess the dating process works for other people, but I'm just not into it. Actually, even before I knew I was grey-aro ace, I would find myself thinking of polite ways to turn down people who asked me out ^_^

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I'm a senior in high school and I hate dating (currently). I dated two boys in the entirety of my school career, and it sucked so much! I hated it so much that I haven't dated since freshman year. I dated someone for over four months and he never wanted to hang out with me. I literally saw him more when we were just friends. The other guy I dated was someone who I hadn't been friends with before and I didn't know him as well as the first one. He was super clingy and kept "doing" stuff for me, like closing my locker (without asking if I was done with it) and grabbing me (especially around the waist and usually by surprise.) He would even try to get me to use the same textbook in class (I don't even know why. It's so impractical and he brought his own book)

That, and most people at my school are either jerks, taken, annoying, druggies, like to get into fights, or think they're the coolest badasses in the world.

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I would like to date, but have never had a serious relationship. I believe it's important to get to know the person well first.

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  • 2 weeks later...
YellowElephant

I'm aro ace and repulsed, so the idea of a a serious relationship doesn't much appeal to me. I had a "thing" with a boy a grade below me last year. We only ever chatted on Facebook and met up for a couple school events, but for some reason he wanted to keep it secret. It didn't end well when my mom found out and I still feel terrible for lying that entire time. I don't really consider that dating though.

I honestly don't think I would mind dating; if someone were to ever ask me, I'd definitely give it a try.

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I've never dated because i'm not interested in people romantically, a date tends to give the wrong idea

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