What are your attitudes towards dating?

[Pikanyaa]

Kinda hard to make a poll for this, but I wanted to try it anyway. There are probably going to be a lot of "Other" responses.

The first date I ever went on was with a friend after high school before I went to college, and at the time I felt like the whole situation was just awkward. I just didn't feel attracted to him enough to start dating, because dating implies romance which is weird if you don't like the other person in that way. We unofficially stopped dating & went back to being friends, but 3 years later I decided I was finally attracted to him & we started "dating" long distance (I was still in college). Now we live together & go on occasional dates, and they're no longer awkward.

In the 3 years we were just friends, I never had another boyfriend, and shortly before we got back together, my dad told me one day, "You know, it's perfectly okay to date someone just for fun." I knew that, but dating for fun was just something I've never wanted to do. I have to know a person very well already before opening up to them in that way.

So what are your own feelings towards dating?

[Guest]

I do not believe in dating to get to know people. I would only date a special someone. Other then her I do not date.

[Zapstileon]

I would only 'date' someone after getting to know them. I probably wouldn't have any romantic interest in random strangers anyway, so there would be no point.

[EmotionalAndroid]

I've never dated, mostly because I have not found anyone I particularly like and I have social anxiety. Heck, I haven't had any friends for 10+ years.

Also, I am very afraid of dating anyone who I am not sure is asexual. I don't want to get involved if they are expecting anything sexual from me. I also fear some sort of retribution if I get involved with them and tell them about my asexuality after a while. Since there are no asexual groups near me, I am just sort of out of luck.

Fear of being judged also deters me. Since my parents don't know I am asexual, I worry that they'll suspect me of a physically intimate relationship, when that is far from what I want. I guess I could fix that by coming out...

And lastly, I don't really understand humans very well and am very awkward. I've got rather low self-esteem and always think anyone who likes me is doing so out of pity.

[Anime Pancake]

Cool topic!

I chose I only date someone if I feel we have a good shot at making it a long term commitment

I don't date someone if I feel like we don't get along well, or if our personalities aren't compatible. And it is also kind of rare that I find someone that I really like, so whenever I do find someone like that, I usually ask them if they're interested in dating. Most of the time

I also chose Other for the last question.

Personally, I don't date often because I don't find someone I really like very often. And even when I do, a lot of the time the person is interested in me lol

[Hooded_Crow]

I've never dated for multiple reasons:

• I have social anxiety.
• I have never been asked out on a date.
• I'm demiromantic, so I certainly wouldn't want to date as a way of getting to know someone (there can't be any romantic expectations at the beginning for me).
• I wouldn't call hanging out with my partner 'dating'. Just 'spending time together'.

All in all, I just don't think it's my scene.

[romantic-woman]

Well, i dated some guys in the past but they asked for it cause i am shy to do that.

I didn't like dating really, i remember when i was a teen i was so shy and i couldn't or didnt want to speak so i was just staying there looking

.

I dated those people only once, i mean there wasn't a second date cause i was bored, i didn't find any reason to see them again.

I lose my words , i don't know what to answer or how i should act.

Some of them expected of me to be more close to them, i didn't want to do anything from the first day so i just stayed in a distance.

They told me that i am different , that they got used to other girls who were mad about them, hugging them or kissing them right after seeing them.

I like mystery, i like things to go slowly, i must feel safe and warm and if someone presses me to do things in a quick way i lose my interest.

Maybe cause those people weren't asexuals. I like shy boys, naive and warm who don't press girls and make you feel that you really want to go on a 2nd date without feeling afraid.

[deltaX]

I don't really date. I suppose sometimes when I do things one-on-one with a friend it can be seen by some people as a "date" (especially if it's a male friend), but I never really consider that dating, it's just hanging out with a friend. My main reason for not dating is that I'm aromantic, so I have no interest in getting into a romantic relationship with anyone. It seems everyone around me only dates if they want romance or sex, and that's not really an option for me.

The only time I ever really dated was last year right before I found out a was aro/ace. My close guy friend developed a crush on me and when he asked me to go on dates with him I just went along with it. It was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable for me because I'm a bit romance-repulsed, and it only got worse once we became an official couple. I don't really plan on going through that ever again if I can avoid it.

[Purnkin Spurce]

I've always found it strange people would date to get to know someone or date before they even knew that person. My friend and I almost got into an argument for it and it still freaks me out. I just don't understand how people can just plunge into a relationship first, then getting to know each other later!? O.o To each their own I guess? Anyway, I don't date often because I have to form a strong bond with someone first before I consider us a couple. I really have to feel a close emotional feeling to them. Since that is unlikely for me in most cases, I would consider dating after we got to know each other really well.

But in most cases, I avoid dating because I've only ever been inlove once, those feelings still linger for a person that doesn't feel the same. I would feel selfish to start a relationship while still inlove with someone else (who doesn't even know I feel this way.)

[savingwonderwall]

I've always found it strange people would date to get to know someone or date before they even knew that person. My friend and I almost got into an argument for it and it still freaks me out. I just don't understand how people can just plunge into a relationship first, then getting to know each other later!? O.o To each their own I guess? Anyway, I don't date often because I have to form a strong bond with someone first before I consider us a couple. I really have to feel a close emotional feeling to them. Since that is unlikely for me in most cases, I would consider dating after we got to know each other really well.

But in most cases, I avoid dating because I've only ever been inlove once, those feelings still linger for a person that doesn't feel the same. I would feel selfish to start a relationship while still inlove with someone else (who doesn't even know I feel this way.)

Almost 100% exactly my same experience. I actually have been teased that I have effectively gone on dates with friends by accident... But I guess I always assume that "date" is referenced to and interaction with romantic/sexual intentions? Idk

And I hate how people say to "date for fun". I just don't see the point.

[Visenya]

Where I live, it's not very common to be asked out on a date. At least not when you're young (less than 30~35 years old). We have this thing called "ficar", which consists in casually making out with someone. The vast majority of my friends started their romantic relationships like that. after some time. If you tell someone you don't do casual make-out sessions (like me), you're screwed and more likely to stay single for a very long time. -_-

On one hand, I'd like to be asked out on a date, as long as the guy is not expecting me to have sex with him anytime soon. At least it's better than having to stick your tongue down someone else's throat without even knowing the person well. But on the other hand, I'd feel uncomfortable dating someone without having feelings for him. So, for me, it'd be a lot better to start a relationship with someone as friends first.

PS.: sorry if my post got confusing.

[Amoeba-Proteus]

I do not believe in dating to get to know people.

This.

I don't understand the concept of "let's SEE, if we can get to know each other, like each other, and make a relationship happen". I'd rather just have friends, and if I happen to grow close to them, there you go. I feel like if you're trying to make yourself be romantically interested in someone, it'll never work.

I've also only ever dated one person. Don't care to try that again. And fortunately haven't been interested in anyone else since.

[Ortac]

I answered 'Other' to the question 'If you don't date (often), why is that?'

I have never dated because I am scared. Scared of what, you may ask?

Well, I don't really know. I am just...scared.

(and even if I wasn't, chances are I would not be able to find anyone who would want to date me anyway.)

[littleheartsofjoy]

Cool topic!

I chose I only date someone if I feel we have a good shot at making it a long term commitment

I don't date someone if I feel like we don't get along well, or if our personalities aren't compatible. And it is also kind of rare that I find someone that I really like, so whenever I do find someone like that, I usually ask them if they're interested in dating. Most of the time

I also chose Other for the last question.

Personally, I don't date often because I don't find someone I really like very often. And even when I do, a lot of the time the person is interested in me lol

And Anime has kind of read my mind again :o

Seriously though, I agree with what he said, minus a part of it. To me, it's a waste to date someone if there isn't a possibility of a long term commitment. In my eyes, that's similar to me dating someone who doesn't want to be married ever (or even a fan of the idea) and I want to be married. Why am I wasting my time then?

I'm not as courageous as Anime is though to ask. I'm too shy to do stuff like that, and a lot of the time, I expect crushes to fade, since they happen so irregularly. I have the same answers as Anime though, aside from the asking part of it.

[Hobbes!]

I don't date. I've never come across anyone who has wanted a romantic relationship with me, and after the last crush ... no, just no. Rejection has the potential to hurt too much

[soMeRandoM670]

I just don't really feel for dating I hear all bad experiences other people having I had few bad experiences not with dating itself just with people.
And honestly, I don't like the idea.
I want be romantic and all that stuff but like, dating just doesn't seem be something that would work for me.

[njosnavelin]

My thoughts are I don’t date. I have never had the interest to because I don’t think anyone would want to date me. I continually feel I have nothing to add to a conversation. Because I don’t think I am interesting to someone else I have no intentions to subject myself, or waste my breath, onto someone else who isn’t GENUINELY interested.

[RoswellValentine]

I'm starting college and I haven't dated yet. Never really had an interest and didn't see what all the hoopla was about. I'm open to the idea, though I am a bit leery about compliments/comments (thanks middle school).

If I did date, I feel like I'd be a bit cheesy if I talk, and generally quiet (as if I'm not quiet enough already). If I get to know the person before dating, that's fine, but if it's like "Hey, we just met. Wanna go out with me?" I would flat out reject them.

[kelico]

I don't date, never dated. I've yet to feel comfortable with the idea of actually dating or being in a romantic relationship with someone (being lithromantic plays a big part). If I were to (somehow) date someone, it would definitely be with someone that I've known for a while. Like others that have commented, I can't wrap my head around blind dates or "seeing how things go" like that lol. My mom...she always tells me about how she'd date several guys all at the same time! Every friday and weekend, she'd have a date. I literally cannot understand how that works!

[HermioneGranger]

I pretty much never date. I would like to find someone to date and develop a relationship with, but the whole asexual thing is a deal breaker for basically everyone, so...

[Sakiya]

Cool topic!

I chose I only date someone if I feel we have a good shot at making it a long term commitment

I don't date someone if I feel like we don't get along well, or if our personalities aren't compatible. And it is also kind of rare that I find someone that I really like, so whenever I do find someone like that, I usually ask them if they're interested in dating. Most of the time

I also chose Other for the last question.

Personally, I don't date often because I don't find someone I really like very often. And even when I do, a lot of the time the person is interested in me lol

Me too Haru ^^

[Philip027]

I couldn't really do it. I think being demi-something as well as someone who has only ever had online relationships both play some sort of role in this for me.

When it comes down to it, I don't really see myself being able to "date" someone that I didn't already know well, even though dating is something people usually do to get to know each other. By the time I would be comfortable dating someone, it would seem unnecessary to do so, in other words.

I like getting to know (certain) people; I just wouldn't call the process "dating", personally. I tend to get to know people just through flat out conversation.

[interpol]

I come from a culture in which dating isn't encouraged and I was always taught that dating is for finding a spouse. I am nowhere near ready for that.

I have been asked out before. But if someone is asking me out over facebook when they can talk to me in person that's a sign they don't know me well enough. (And I would have said no to him anyway because I just wasn't interested.)

And trauma.

It's okay. Everyone has cooties.

[Amber5886]

I always preferred to develop friendships first then we can maybe date but don't start building the house before you even have a foundation laid out. Hang out with me a bit, let's watch movies and see if we can even hold a conversation wih each other before we head out for the dinner and a movie.

I used to live in a neighborhood wih a high Muslim population and I remember when one Of my good friends got married to a guy she had spoken to twice and seen a picture of. They never even met in person but I remember us talkig and she was as baffled by m need for friendship first as I was by her complete and total "okay-ness" with her situation.

It Litteraly hurts my brain to think of spending time with a total stranger in a romantic sense or to even "hook up" with someone you just met.

No shaming the people that do it but I can't wrap my brain around the idea.

[Octopus710]

I generally hate dating. I hate having people around me and I can't seem to be nice and happy in a crowd which gives people a wrong impression of me. When I go on a date though I don't expect much and I choose places where we cannot be alone. The best option for me is the cinema because I don't have to look at the person next to me and wonder what they are thinking. Also, I don't have to wonder about my hair or make-up : D But there hasn't been one date where the guy did not try to kiss me at some point. I don't know why they do it but it's just a big turn off, no matter how much I like the guy. It feels like invading personal space.

[Squawk]

I've never dated before.

I generally have trouble connecting with people, even on a platonic level, most social interactions seem boing and pointless after indulging in them for a while... and when said indulging does happen, it needs to be under extremely controlled conditions and for a limited period of time, anything outside of that just annoys me.

I don't even have any close friends. I don't want to die alone though, for practical reasons, so I either manage to find a convenient arrangement where I'd get to live with a permanent quiet roommate (which I think is highly unlikely to happen), or I get together with someone I find tolerable.

If it's someone I respect enough, I wouldn't mind putting up with the dating thing, so long as I saw that the benefits it brought me counterbalanced the stuff I'd have to put up with. I'm not even repulsed by physical contact with people I'm used to being around, so I'm guessing it might get used to it, and it'll become routine after enough time.

That's ideally speaking anyway, but I have a tendency to get bored of people, even the ones I manage to get to know, so although I say some kind of permanent arrangement, I know it's really, really unlikely that that'll even happen.

[Fire & Rain]

Dated many times in the past but I stopped due to my romance repulsion. I've always preferred to have close friends more than romantic partners until one of my close friends showed romantic interest in me. Now I'm doing all kinds of romantic stuff in a non romantic relationship with my friend and feeling extremely confused!

[Whispearl]

I've never dated and I've always found it to be quite intimidating, probably due to my lack of experience. However, I have felt romantic attraction very strongly once. That's about as far as I've ever gotten. I probably wouldn't say no if someone I knew well enough asked me on a date, but I wouldn't be the one doing the asking unless I wanted to be with this person ridiculously badly, which has never happened before.

[Eoria]

I don't date because I'm aromantic. I've tried before, but it was uncomfortable and I felt bad that they were interested and I couldn't return the feelings.

I've never really understood dating to get to know someone either. Like isn't that just hanging out? Unless you're planning to do sexual things right off the bat, I guess. What I really never got was dating multiple people at once though (with plans for a monogamous relationship later on). I've known people who did that and then they ended up liking more than one person. Then once things got serious they'd cry about how they had to pick one and how hard it would be. Why put yourself in that position in the first place then?

[JaySexual]

I've never dated.

I'd consider it (dating) with the right person, but would want 'friends only' at first