Medication as "fix" for sexuality

[Tarfeather]

Okay, so I did a quick search, and I only found one topic on the matter, which I'll link it here. http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/78957-are-ssris-the-answer/?view=findpost&p=2241123&hl=ssri

I'd like to approach the issue from a more general viewpoint. To start with, let's examine a few dots:

1. For many people with the specific asexual partner issue, the issue is that of sexual drive/libido.

2. Medication "affects" certain feedback systems in our brains that are "connected" to sexual drive.

3. I know of at least one person for whom medication has "fixed" romance-related woes

4. I just took some anti-depressants in order to fix my sleep schedule on short notice(seriously, don't try this at home, kids) and my sexual drive is virtually gone.

5. A few people have mentioned SSRI's very recently in connection to their partner's (a)sexuality

... Interesting.

So in the other thread I read something about anti-depressants not generally being a fix for libido. But you could also say: Anti-depressants aren't generally a fix for depression. They could make it worse.

In fact, very little is understood about these medications.. All we know for certain is that they change something, and that they change different things for different people. In the end, the best you can do is give them a try, see what they do, and hope that their long-term effects(10+ years) aren't different from their short- to midterm effects.

And if that medication reduces your libido? Then it might do that in the long term. And that might be a good thing indeed.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure whether this line of reasoning will get you a prescription. Nor do I know of a type of anti-depressants that will fix libido for me without other side-effects(the particular set I'm on right now inhibits my motor system and makes me sleepy in addition to libido reduction).

But it's still an interesting idea. If other people had issues with sexual drive and could affect this by taking anti-depressants or other medication, I'd like to hear about it. Data is good.

In fact, here's another interesting theory: Anti-depressants don't actually make you happier. They affect sexual-related feedback systems in ways that may take away reasons for being unhappy. That would at least be accurate in my experience with them(anti-depressants never worked for me before, as my unhappiness wasn't sexual-drive related.. until now, at least).

[FurrMurriX]

Who would take Medication? Bleh

If your doctor have't described you Medication, don't even bother. Besides, no one should take Medication To increase or decrease the "Sexual Drive"

On a side note... Medication Tastes bad .-.

(I'm On some, would rather throw them away xD but won't)

[Squawk]

Who would take Medication? Bleh

Crazy people.

If your doctor have't described you Medication, don't even bother. Besides, no one should take Medication To increase or decrease the "Sexual Drive"

On a side note... Medication Tastes bad .-.

(I'm On some, would rather throw them away xD but won't)

I feel you. I'm on SSRIs and for the first few months the side effects were wrecking me, I had migraines that left me totally incapacitated and I'd never had migraines before.

Is sex even really worth all that trouble.

Doesn't compute.

And yeah, taking this type of meds is... Weird, as different kinds affect every person in a different way. My psychiatrist and I had to try a couple before I found meds that suited me and minimalized some side effects that were making my life very uncomfortable...

And OP, no antidepressant in designed to make you happier, per say, that's not really how it works... They lessen the symptoms of depression, which might put you in a more positive and accepting mindset, but their ultimate purpose in not to induce happiness, at least in my understanding. My psych once explained this to me as I was skeptical about taking meds, but I'ver forgotten the exact words he used :/

[FurrMurriX]

Who would take Medication? Bleh

Crazy people.

If your doctor have't described you Medication, don't even bother. Besides, no one should take Medication To increase or decrease the "Sexual Drive"

On a side note... Medication Tastes bad .-.

(I'm On some, would rather throw them away xD but won't)

I feel you. I'm on SSRIs and for the first few months the side effects were wrecking me, I had migraines that left me totally incapacitated and I'd never had migraines before.

Sexual people are weird, is sex even really worth all that trouble.

Doesn't compute.

And yeah, taking this type of meds is... Weird, as different kinds affect every person in a different way. My psychiatrist and I had to try a couple before I found meds that suited me and minimalized some side effects that were making my life very uncomfortable...

And OP, no antidepressant in designed to make you happier, per say, that's not really how it works... They lessen the symptoms of depression, which might put you in a more positive and accepting mindset, but their ultimate purpose in not to induce happiness, at least in my understanding. My psych once explained this to me as I was skeptical about taking meds, but I'ver forgotten the exact words he used :/

Yeah, and some have to many side-effects as well.

haha well yeah guess not, I don't understand them as well errr... not that I hate anyone that have sex, I'm just kinda Repulsed towards Sex (Not the people who have it, so no hating x.X)

I so know how it feels, I'm using Lithium + Epitec + Stilnox and was taking a while to sort out the stuff, and to many Blood testing -shakes head- and I hate needles bleh.

So those who don't need to drink anything, should rather keep it that way. Because it really gets irritating.

So are you still on the same medsication now?

[Lady Girl]

A couple of things to note...statements like "sexuals are weird" is elitist and is discouraged on AVEN. And saying crazy people take medication is insulting, which is also not acceptable. Please be more careful with phrasing. Thanks.

Lady Girl, Moderator

[Squawk]

Who would take Medication? Bleh

Crazy people.

If your doctor have't described you Medication, don't even bother. Besides, no one should take Medication To increase or decrease the "Sexual Drive"

On a side note... Medication Tastes bad .-.

(I'm On some, would rather throw them away xD but won't)

I feel you. I'm on SSRIs and for the first few months the side effects were wrecking me, I had migraines that left me totally incapacitated and I'd never had migraines before.

Sexual people are weird, is sex even really worth all that trouble.

Doesn't compute.

And yeah, taking this type of meds is... Weird, as different kinds affect every person in a different way. My psychiatrist and I had to try a couple before I found meds that suited me and minimalized some side effects that were making my life very uncomfortable...

And OP, no antidepressant in designed to make you happier, per say, that's not really how it works... They lessen the symptoms of depression, which might put you in a more positive and accepting mindset, but their ultimate purpose in not to induce happiness, at least in my understanding. My psych once explained this to me as I was skeptical about taking meds, but I'ver forgotten the exact words he used :/

Yeah, and some have to many side-effects as well.

haha well yeah guess not, I don't understand them as well errr... not that I hate anyone that have sex, I'm just kinda Repulsed towards Sex (Not the people who have it, so no hating x.X)

I so know how it feels, I'm using Lithium + Epitec + Stilnox and was taking a while to sort out the stuff, and to many Blood testing -shakes head- and I hate needles bleh.

So those who don't need to drink anything, should rather keep it that way. Because it really gets irritating.

So are you still on the same medsication now?

I've switched meds a couple of times, I've been in the same antidepressants and antipsychotics for s while now, which is good, because each time I switch my sleep patterns gets screwed over. I start sleeping 15 hours a day and feeling generally grumpy and like I'm 100% done with everything from the moment I wake up, while I get used to the meds, which usually takes a couple of months... I'm good now, still oversleeping occasionally.

Yeah... These kinds of meds are still relatively unstudied and long term side effects are an undetermined variable, so people who do not absolutely need them, shouldn't take them for the sake of being able to get it up more often.

Well, that's how I see it anyway, but I'd guess I don't see sex like a sexual person would, I don't get its importance and what the lack of it may bring to people who are used to have a high libido.

[Squawk]

A couple of things to note...statements like "sexuals are weird" is elitist and is discouraged on AVEN. And saying crazy people take medication is insulting, which is also not acceptable. Please be more careful with phrasing. Thanks.

Lady Girl, Moderator

Edited out what you mentioned in my post, but I think you've misuderstood what the other poster said. Crazy is still inappropriate though, I guess.

Sorry.

[FurrMurriX]

A couple of things to note...statements like "sexuals are weird" is elitist and is discouraged on AVEN. And saying crazy people take medication is insulting, which is also not acceptable. Please be more careful with phrasing. Thanks.

Lady Girl, Moderator

Noted And Changed. Thanks

[FurrMurriX]

@Squawk: Ish... yeah why I don't like medication to be honest. And I'm glad to hear they fixed it now, and things are going smoother -nods-

True, and not safe is some cases. And makes things just harder.

Yeah same here, in all honesty I think you shouldn't change who you are and just accept it, don't like it at all when someone tries changing for someone else (Well if you have to lie to yourself, its not good).

And know for a fact, there will be side-effects for trying to increase your sexual drive. And not sure about the lowering... but guess its not as well.

Someone shouldn't go out of there way to try and fix something as small. Like I said- really not worth taking medicine if you can avoid it.

[Lady Girl]

Thanks Squawk and Zoran, it's much appreciated. I do understand the sentiment that seeking medication to increase or decrease sex drive/libido seems a questionable endeavor.

[Squawk]

@Squawk: Ish... yeah why I don't like medication to be honest. And I'm glad to hear they fixed it now, and things are going smoother -nods-

True, and not safe is some cases. And makes things just harder.

Yeah same here, in all honesty I think you shouldn't change who you are and just accept it, don't like it at all when someone tries changing for someone else (Well if you have to lie to yourself, its not good).

And know for a fact, there will be side-effects for trying to increase your sexual drive. And not sure about the lowering... but guess its not as well.

Someone shouldn't go out of there way to try and fix something as small. Like I said- really not worth taking medicine if you can avoid it.

On the plus side though, they did work nicely for me, coupled with therapy...

This post was the first time I heard about antidepressants as a way to up your libido, though. I've heard it could lower it (I didn't feel any differences in this department), and it's interesting that they can be responsible for the opposite effect.

Topics like this sometimes make question my decision to leave the medical engineering studies, haha.

And about accepting who you are, well, that's a little bit hard to comment on... Most people have aspects about themselves they don't like, and I don't necessarily disagree with trying to change to be able to feel better about yourself. I just think it needs a lot of serious consideration, and the people involved need to be informed about what they could be getting themselves into.

[Tarfeather]

Dear Squawk,

I'm sorry that you have made such life experiences that you feel compulsed to misread the title of this topic as "Medication as fix for asexuality", but it does not say that. It says "Medication as fix for sexuality". That's also what I talk about in the OP itself(I suggest reading it before replying), as well as the topic of the thread I've linked(you might want to glance over that, at least).

Yours truly,

OP

[Guest]

I'm confused. You're talking about taking SSRIs to lower your libido, like, for sexuals in mixed relationships? That's... most likely not a reason a doctor would prescribe it for. And people on SSRIs who have lost their libido have reported that causing distress, since they still psychologically WANT sex and their bodies just won't respond to it. So, I guess it could work if mentally you don't want sex and your body just doesn't reply, but that is a lot of side effects to take on to try to rid yourself of libido.

[Squawk]

Dear Squawk,

I'm sorry that you have made such life experiences that you feel compulsed to misread the title of this topic as "Medication as fix for asexuality", but it does not say that. It says "Medication as fix for sexuality". That's also what I talk about in the OP itself(I suggest reading it before replying), as well as the topic of the thread I've linked(you might want to glance over that, at least).

Yours truly,

OP

OP,

I am an idiot, thanks.

Sincerely,

Squawk

[Tarfeather]

Dear Squawk,

I'm sorry that you have made such life experiences that you feel compulsed to misread the title of this topic as "Medication as fix for asexuality", but it does not say that. It says "Medication as fix for sexuality". That's also what I talk about in the OP itself(I suggest reading it before replying), as well as the topic of the thread I've linked(you might want to glance over that, at least).

Yours truly,

OP

OP,

I am an idiot, thanks.

Sincerely,

Squawk

Now I feel kinda bad.. ;( Well played!

[Tarfeather]

Sorry for double-post, still trying to work out how this forum software works.

I'm confused. You're talking about taking SSRIs to lower your libido, like, for sexuals in mixed relationships? That's... most likely not a reason a doctor would prescribe it for. And people on SSRIs who have lost their libido have reported that causing distress, since they still psychologically WANT sex and their bodies just won't respond to it. So, I guess it could work if mentally you don't want sex and your body just doesn't reply, but that is a lot of side effects to take on to try to rid yourself of libido.

You must have better experience with doctors than me, then. I can get a doctor to prescribe me pretty much anything by telling them the right story.. on the other hand, none of them have been competent enough to actually properly advise me on the use of anti-depressants and the like. Most of what I know I got from a friend who reads books on the topic, as well as talking to people who've taken anti-depressants in the past.

I don't know what's so confusing? It's just an idea that came to mind, and I explained pretty conclusively why it came to mind. To me, it was a nice experience to spend a day without sexual arousal, and I was wondering whether this effect couldn't somehow be prolonged.

[Guest]

Are you going to GPs, or psychiatrists? GPs are more willing to give out any medication without caring about dose or whether it will actually be beneficial for the patient (my cousin nearly died thanks to his GP giving out psychopharm pills like candy without caring), but that's a pretty dangerous way of going about getting drugs that interact with your brain chemistry to change it. A psychiatrist should inform you of how to use anti-depressants and monitor/adjust the dose over time to even you out, rather than just giving any old thing without follow up therapy/tweaks. :(

[Squawk]

Dear Squawk,

I'm sorry that you have made such life experiences that you feel compulsed to misread the title of this topic as "Medication as fix for asexuality", but it does not say that. It says "Medication as fix for sexuality". That's also what I talk about in the OP itself(I suggest reading it before replying), as well as the topic of the thread I've linked(you might want to glance over that, at least).

Yours truly,

OP

OP,

I am an idiot, thanks.

Sincerely,

Squawk

Now I feel kinda bad.. ;( Well played!

OP, that was not my intention at all xD I meant to thank you for pointing that out to me, and to make fun of myself for my inability to pay attention to anything for more than a couple of seconds.

[Guest]

Mh, as someone who went from desperately frustrated repulsed romantic, to happily and stably de-facto-aro due to SSRI, I can't rule it out that it works fine, because it certainly can.

However,

a) it's a gamble - taking psychopharmaceuticals always is. Have two patients take the same pill, get two completely different reactions (the exact same pill that skyrocketed my life quality gave my mother severe enough panic attacks that she had to go off it after just a few weeks).

b) due to the Hippocratic Oath, few MDs will even consider prescribing you meds to achieve something that is usually seen as a detrimental side effect, especially if you don't suffer from the condition that the medication is meant to cure. As ironic as it sounds, I was lucky to suffer from severe, actively suicidal clinical depression seven years ago, or my psych would probably not ever have tried SSRI medication, and I would still be as frustrated and self-loathing as I was for my entire life since age 16.

So, TL;DR - it's worth a try, IMO, but don't get your hopes up too much, and prepare for trouble.

Oh, and ETA... please don't take prescription medication without a trustworthy, competent MD supervising you at least semi-regularly. There's so freaking much that can go wrong with this,

[Guest]

re. SSRI's and libido, i am asexual, but i have a libido. I have been on about 5 different kinds of SSRI's, and they never took away my libido. I still got horny like I regularly do, what they DID do is completely take away my ability to orgasm. This caused me extreme stress and frustration because I only masturbate in the first place *to* get rid of arousal, i find arousal frustrating and stressful and I cannot concentrate if my body is being annoying and feeling aroused. the orgasm takes away that annoying tension. so all of a sudden being completely unable to orgasm... and not being able to do anything to relieve the tension, made things for me, much more difficult emotionally. I have seen literally hundreds of reviews online from people who experienced the same thing on SSRI's, still get aroused normally, but completely unable to orgasm, ever.

Which I guess means the libido wasn't taken away at all, all that has been removed is the ability to deal with that libido in any way.

for me, the anorgasmia wasn't even the worst of the issues I had on SSRI's, i became deeply depressed, yet my body wouldn't react to the emotions, so, no crying, no shaking, no racing heart, but deeper emotions of hopelessness than I have had without the meds. and just, a total lack of caring. doing dishes, washing clothes, vacuuming or anything like that, just stopped mattering to me. it just felt like "I know its a mess, but who cares?"

I understand that some people have positive experiences on them, but honestly, I don't think it's worth taking the risk unless it's for something extreme like depression,but even then, I just ended up more depressed and suicidal on them, certainly not less. the ONLY thing that changed is that I stopped reacting to depression and anxiety by crying, shaking etc.. I'd just sit there feeling the pain, but looking totally numb and expressionless on the outside. my doc and physciatrist were both like "see your obviously better, you're not crying or shaking" and when I tried to explain that I was feeling worse than I ever had, my body had just stopped reacting outwardly, they dismissed what I was saying saying that wasn't rlpossible (despite many people in review forums having experienced the same thing, and also being told by their docs it's not possible). to them, I wasn't crying or shaking, so that was progress *sigh*

I tried the other ones too.. uum.. SSRS (?) I think. venlafaxine. did exact the same thing as citalopram for me.

oh one thing I forgot to mention. extreme weight gain, and inability to lose weight even though I started starving myself (literally would not let myself eat, would force myself to throw up when I did eat) .. but I weight without even trying once I had finally gotten over the (horrendous) withdrawals, and started actually wanting food again. it was some chemical in the meds making me put on and retain weight, and had nothing to do with what I was eating (mainly only brown rice the entire time I was on them, and like I said, not keeping it down) .. honestly. certainly was not worth it for me.

I'm off them now, I have my imagination back (i'm actually writing again, AND listening to audio books again, yay) my house is tidy, I actually feel positive about my appearance. yes I have depression, i have anxiety, i experience pretty debilitating PTSD (means I can't talk to make shop assistants, males at the kindy where I pick my daughter up, or anything like that in case I flip a switch and go into PTSD meltdown mode) but even with the anxiety etc, i'm coping a whole lot better now that I ever did on SSRI's :)

[Guest]

This caused me extreme stress and frustration because I only masturbate in the first place *to* get rid of arousal, i find arousal frustrating and stressful and I cannot concentrate if my body is being annoying and feeling aroused. the orgasm takes away that annoying tension. so all of a sudden being completely unable to orgasm... and not being able to do anything to relieve the tension, made things for me, much more difficult emotionally. I have seen literally hundreds of reviews online from people who experienced the same thing on SSRI's, still get aroused normally, but completely unable to orgasm, ever.

The same happens to me. As I get order it happens more often. Orgasm almost only come around once a month or so. So I am very lucky I guess. I almost feel sexual because of arousal. I am glad my current relationship is open about sexuality. We tend to to feel arousal once in a while and we have a clear understand about it. Medication a six for sexuality ... I find that funny. Well I guess it might work for some...

[Guest]

for me, the anorgasmia wasn't even the worst of the issues I had on SSRI's, i became deeply depressed, yet my body wouldn't react to the emotions, so, no crying, no shaking, no racing heart, but deeper emotions of hopelessness than I have had without the meds. and just, a total lack of caring. doing dishes, washing clothes, vacuuming or anything like that, just stopped mattering to me. it just felt like "I know its a mess, but who cares?"

I understand that some people have positive experiences on them, but honestly, I don't think it's worth taking the risk unless it's for something extreme like depression,but even then, I just ended up more depressed and suicidal on them, certainly not less. the ONLY thing that changed is that I stopped reacting to depression and anxiety by crying, shaking etc.. I'd just sit there feeling the pain, but looking totally numb and expressionless on the outside. my doc and physciatrist were both like "see your obviously better, you're not crying or shaking" and when I tried to explain that I was feeling worse than I ever had, my body had just stopped reacting outwardly, they dismissed what I was saying saying that wasn't rlpossible (despite many people in review forums having experienced the same thing, and also being told by their docs it's not possible). to them, I wasn't crying or shaking, so that was progress *sigh*

I'm sorry to hear this, Ficto.

This is comparable to what happened when they tried neuroleptics on me (taxilan), for a while a few years earlier (2001, iirc). Yeah, the general anxiety and desperation was gone, but so was pretty much all emotional affect, including giving a damn about whether I'd wolf down a pound of chocolate in ten minutes. Just goes to show what I said - everyone reacts to psychopharmaceuticals differently. Heck, my psych & socped even said that the sheer degree of success I've had with SSRI is pretty far out of the ordinary, and joked about putting my case in medical journals, lol.

[Tarfeather]

Oh, and ETA... please don't take prescription medication without a trustworthy, competent MD supervising you at least semi-regularly. There's so freaking much that can go wrong with this,

Out of curiosity.. what kinds of questions would they ask if they were competent? I tried anti-depressants three times, each time they had negligible effects on me, each time all the doc asked was "Do you experience any unusual side-effects?" Me: "Nope" Doc: "Okay, carry on." So, if there is indeed a thing the doc can do to tell whether the medicine is doing bad things to me, that I can't figure out, then I yet have to hear of such a thing.

Regarding effects of anti-depressants, here's an interesting thing the only semi-competent psychiatrist I ever had told me: "If it's something in the way you THINK, the medicine won't help". And that's exactly it in my experience. You can't use anti-depressants or anything to fix the way you think. Only you yourself can do that. But once you've found the courage and discipline to fundamentally change the way you think into something that could resemble a stable mental state, then you might want to start thinking about anti-depressants. I think that's how it worked for Mysticus, but I may be wrong there.

Oh, and also: The kinds of effects are related to your genes to the same degree your mental problems are related to your genes. As it turns out, citalopram is not very useful for both me and my close relative, either. But there are other substances that are. So if you think anti-depressants could help you with your set of problems, don't hesitate to seek a doctor and try out a few more.

[Guest]

Out of curiosity.. what kinds of questions would they ask if they were competent? I tried anti-depressants three times, each time they had negligible effects on me, each time all the doc asked was "Do you experience any unusual side-effects?" Me: "Nope" Doc: "Okay, carry on." So, if there is indeed a thing the doc can do to tell whether the medicine is doing bad things to me, that I can't figure out, then I yet have to hear of such a thing.

Asking you - regularly and repeatedly - about what effects and side-effects you experience is a huge part of it, already... and that's something you'd be skipping completely if you take prescription meds unsupervised. In the case of citalopram in particular, a competent psych would also insist on electrocardiograms at least yearly, if not every six months; it's known to (rarely, unless the dose is too high) cause some kind of characteristic dysfunction in the heart (don't ask me what's the exact medical name for it), which can in a theoretical worst case scenario even kill you with cardiac arrest. Obviously, it should thus be checked regularly that the heart is working in the way it's supposed to.

Regarding effects of anti-depressants, here's an interesting thing the only semi-competent psychiatrist I ever had told me: "If it's something in the way you THINK, the medicine won't help". And that's exactly it in my experience. You can't use anti-depressants or anything to fix the way you think. Only you yourself can do that. But once you've found the courage and discipline to fundamentally change the way you think into something that could resemble a stable mental state, then you might want to start thinking about anti-depressants. I think that's how it worked for Mysticus, but I may be wrong there.

We - me and my "team of professionals" ;) - aren't quite sure what's the chicken and what's the egg in my case, so to speak. Was it mainly a chemical imbalance that caused thought aberrations , and the meds an effective cure for the root problem itself (as long as I keep taking them)? Or was I at the point where I had already done all the "mental footwork" I could have done, but was held back by a last insurmountable neurochemical obstacle (said imbalance)?

We don't know for sure. It's not terribly important for me to know, though. Main thing is, I'm consistently happier and freer (and one hell of a lot more "relationship capable") now that I take my little white helpers than I ever was since my early childhood, and in the end, that's all that really counts in practice. ^_^

Oh, and also: The kinds of effects are related to your genes to the same degree your mental problems are related to your genes. As it turns out, citalopram is not very useful for both me and my close relative, either. But there are other substances that are. So if you think anti-depressants could help you with your set of problems, don't hesitate to seek a doctor and try out a few more.

Good point.