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I find sex so upsetting.


JulianCarax

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(I'm female, 22 years old)

I came across asexuality and found the idea of living without sex to be really relieving as a lifestyle, but then I've found in some asexual blogs and discussions etc that people like to distinguish between asexuality and celibacy, and I really want to know which camp I'm in.

I've looked at this 'am I asexual quiz' and one of the themes that kept coming up was that asexuals find sex boring and unstimulating. But I don't. I find it disturbing and I don't want to see/hear about it. I don't think I could ever stomach it. I don't want to "try it" as people seem to suggest because I'm afraid that would mess me up pretty badly (I made a thread on a different forum and was told it's just because you're a virgin, if you tried it you'd realize it was no big deal).

That's all, I think. :unsure:

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Well, asexuality and celibacy are similar-sounding but totally-separate things. You can be one, both, or neither.

What you speak of in your second paragraph sounds a lot like sex repulsion, which can also exist (or not) in any combination with the other two things.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that pretty much anything will seem possible once you spend enough time here XD

:cake: to you~

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thatotherguy57

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Celibacy is a choice not to engage in sex. You do sound as if you are sex repulsed.

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You should never feel forced to have sex. At least several asexuals here have said they have tried sex and regretted it as something they did not, and should not have done. If someone says ("you don't know until you've tried it") just say you don't know how good it feels to have sex with a goat until you've tried it.

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Asexuality isn't about not liking sex. You can still be a sexual but hate sex, and be asexual and like sex. The main difference is really that an asexual person doesn't experience sexual attraction and/or doesn't have sexual desire(s). However you can also be sex repulsed asexual. So you got to ask yourself if you experience sexual attraction or not in order to find out if you're asexual or sexual. However you seem sex repulsed to me, which is perfectly fine! Hope you'll live a happy (sexless) life and find out "what you are" ^_^

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passionatefriend61

Sounds like you're sex-repulsed.

If you don't experience sexual attraction--seeing or thinking about a person and getting sexual thoughts involuntarily--then you're asexual too.

If you don't have sex, you can choose to describe yourself as celibate. I do that because not experiencing sexual attraction doesn't automatically mean you're sexually inactive, so I feel the need to make that clear distinction.

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Thanks everyone :)

If you don't have sex, you can choose to describe yourself as celibate. I do that because not experiencing sexual attraction doesn't automatically mean you're sexually inactive, so I feel the need to make that clear distinction.

Aha, I see!

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You should never feel forced to have sex. At least several asexuals here have said they have tried sex and regretted it as something they did not, and should not have done. If someone says ("you don't know until you've tried it") just say you don't know how good it feels to have sex with a goat until you've tried it.

I don't feel "forced" but I find that people use this to dismiss what you're saying and you're experiences, because you have no experiences. Ha. Not sure if I'd brave using that line anywhere outside of the internet but it made me laugh. :p

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I don't understand sex whatsoever, people say it "feels good" I mean really? I also find it upsetting.

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Even if there is a distinction between asexuality (as in: not feeling sexual attraction), celibacy (the behavior/lifestyle) and sex repulsion (the negative feelings towards having sex), you can be any combination of these things. So there are people who are asexual, celibate and sex repulsed. And there are people who are sex repulsed but not asexual. Make the lifestyle choices that make you happy and keep you mentally and physically healthy, and if that means that people are eager to dismiss your experiences and feelings based on their own prejudices, ignore them.

Also, as I see you're new to AVEN, how about some welcome cake? :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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I don't feel "forced" but I find that people use this to dismiss what you're saying and you're experiences, because you have no experiences.

I usually just say that I know I don't have to eat shit out of the toilet to know that it's not something I ever care to do. People generally have a hard time finding a comeback for that one.

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butterflydreams
I don't feel "forced" but I find that people use this to dismiss what you're saying and you're experiences, because you have no experiences.

I usually just say that I know I don't have to eat shit out of the toilet to know that it's not something I ever care to do. People generally have a hard time finding a comeback for that one.

Huh...that escalated quickly. LOVE IT!

What about the situation where you yourself are dismissing your thoughts because of your own lack of experiences?

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