Jump to content

Do you think I'm gray or demi?


ellastokes

Recommended Posts

I hardly ever think about sex, and when I do it's more of intellectual curiosity.....not that I'd really want to participate personally.Like, I want to study sex, but I don't want to be sexual. But I can't tell if I'm demisexual or gray asexual.

Some times I seem to experience feelings that seem like sexual attraction. They're fleeting and gone pretty quick, but these sexual feelings are still there. And this would make me gray asexual.

On the other hand, when I really like someone, even a remotely enticing picture of them has me really flustered, like VERY much so. I think I experience legitimate sexual desire...I think..(idk...I usually freak myself out when I feel these things and I shut the feelings down bc they feel wrong.) I'm not sure if I'd really want to go through with anything, but it feels like I'm turned on maybe.

What do you think?

Link to post
Share on other sites

This thread has been moved from Asexual Q&A to The Grey Area.

Heart

Asexual Q&A Moderator

Link to post
Share on other sites
Contrarian Expatriate

You seem to be still developing a sexual identity so it may not yet be determined what you are. It took me 47 years to be very clear about what I am sexually. If I were to guess, I would say your description might lean more towards gray, but we would need more descriptive details.

At those few times where you thought you may have had sexual attraction feelings, was it with someone with whom you had some emotional connection or not? If so, that suggests demi.

What was the nature of these feelings, sexual arousal or a desire to have sexual relations, or neither? If you wanted to have a sexual encounter or relation with the people (without an emotional connection), you might be more gray.

I think the particular label is less important. Continue to experience your like and experiment. You might find which catagory best describes you or you might find that you are not asexual at all.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's okay to identify as gray asexual because you're not sure if you've felt sexual attraction. That's a legitimate way to be gray. You can also be demisexual AND gray asexual, if you feel that both fit you (like me!)

I personally define sexual desire as the desire for sexual activity, and sexual attraction as sexual desire pointed toward a specific person.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello,

your post makes me wonder if everyone also has a hard time defining sexual attraction? Just like you, I'm not sure whether or not I experience it - it's hard to draw a line between aesthetical attraction, sexual attraction and sex drive. It's also hard to know if you experience it as much as others, considering that well, you're not really in their heads.

About the difference between demi/gray, it depends if you were emotionally attracted to these people I guess? Though I've always thought that "demisexual" was just a specific point in the "gray asexual spectrum", so if you have doubts, maybe you'd find it safer to identify as grey-asexual and depending on you future experience, either keep it that way or change. Sexuality is fluid, so labels are fluid too. Whatever you think defines you best.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's okay to identify as gray asexual because you're not sure if you've felt sexual attraction. That's a legitimate way to be gray. You can also be demisexual AND gray asexual, if you feel that both fit you (like me!)

I personally define sexual desire as the desire for sexual activity, and sexual attraction as sexual desire pointed toward a specific person.

And me!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Was the nature of these feelings, sexual arousal or a desire to have sexual relations, or neither?

I would say sexual arousal. I can't remember ever having a desire to do anything very sexual with anyone.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...