Xavy Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Last night, after work, I joined a few co workers for a glass of wine at a sports bar, and one of the co-worker who doesn't know I am ace introduced me to one of her friends who happened to be there. I can't remember her name but she had blue hair, anyway, during the introduction, I noticed she was wearing a black ring on her right middle finger just like mine, and I thought .....ok, what do I do here? The ring doesn't automatically mean she is ace, but it would have been nice to find out ....I could have asked her outright if she is ace, but then there were too many people close by who would hear and maybe she is not "out", so I didn't say anything. Now I am thinking I should have said something like "I like your ring" and then see where the conversation goes. This ever happened to anyone ? How did you handle it ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thatotherguy57 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I have yet to meet someone wearing the ring but I would suggest, if there are people around, casually but prominently showing it. In my case, if I had been in your position, I would have scratched my beard with my right hand so that my ring would be clearly visible while being introduced. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I would be careful. Apparently there's something with swingers and black rings as well... You probably don't want to go there! I would show my ring as well if I had one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted September 27, 2014 Author Share Posted September 27, 2014 Yeah I read somewhere about the black ring and swingers ...definitely can't make assumptions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Indeedy... You'd be hard pushed to go more opposite to asexual, yet both use black rings but on different fingers. This is one of the reasons I'm not wearing one. I have an ace keyring which I can flash about though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 This isn't a tried and true method, but if you said, "AVEN is down" and they get it, maybe they are. If not you could always say the comment has something to do with birds. I don't know. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted September 27, 2014 Author Share Posted September 27, 2014 Lol, no one would think I am a swinger, I dont think I come off that way. By the way, I also read somewhere that it is socially inappropriate to ask someone outright what their sexual orientation is, so asking is not an option. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ricki Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 What I'd like to think I'd do, is casually ask about the ring and maybe even mention that I have a similar one at home.What I'd probably actually do is stare at it for a minute and say nothing and then move on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Ace Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 This isn't a tried and true method, but if you said, "AVEN is down" and they get it, maybe they are. If not you could always say the comment has something to do with birds. You better be sure there is no one there with a name that sounds like Aven or they would suddenly all want to try and cheer her/him up, and this person would blame you! ;-) I don't know. Lol, no one would think I am a swinger, I dont think I come off that way. By the way, I also read somewhere that it is socially inappropriate to ask someone outright what their sexual orientation is, so asking is not an option. There's a point... Honestly, it would be difficult to respond meaningfully in other company I think... Other than making it look like you're flirting with that person...(Quote didn't come out right on the top one.... Stupid tablet...) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted September 27, 2014 Author Share Posted September 27, 2014 Think about how ackward it would be if the person turns out to be a swinger wearing a black ring and they thought you were trying to arrange a swing (is that what they call it ?) :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thatotherguy57 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 There was a link posted in several previous threads months ago (I can't find it at the moment), that explains that swingers generally don't wear their black ring on the middle finger, but mostly wear it on the ring finger or thumb. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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