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OKC and am I just being an ***hole?


marki

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This entire thread is you being emotional. So I can't be attacking your character for not being able to show emotion. But the odds are pretty outrageous that if almost every person who came into your thread had something that you perceived as negative to say to you, it has something to do with the way you are portraying your opinions, or perhaps you are not being clear enough with your intentions.

You keep missing the point.. and you were NEVER talking about a platonic relationship, or at least you never specified it as such, considering all you said in your original post was that you were looking for an attractive partner, etc. You even mentioned wanting someone to cuddle with at some point. That can of course happen in a platonic relationship too, but you keep trying to backtrack all over the place in this thread, so I can't know that that's what you were looking for all along. Again, if that's what you were talking about, please be clearer and consistent throughout your posts.

An attractive girl isn't going to settle for someone who doesn't have something to offer. You want a girl who has something to offer you, like cooking or a language or whatnot, so why can't you want to have a skill, a habit, anything to offer in return? I had a friend once who really liked me, but he essentially wanted me to save him because he was insanely bored with himself, but he never gave any thought to what he could do to improve my life. I mention that because I want you to understand what it's like from the girl's perspective. You keep saying you don't want to be intimate, you don't want to have sex, and nobody has any right to judge you for that. Nobody is trying to judge you for that here. But yes, the vast majority of people who are looking for a partner are searching for some degree of intimacy and, if they are sexual, probably also sex. A pretty big purpose of having a partner is so you can share things with them - even just thoughts and ideas, not necessarily sex - and that is a definition of intimacy. You aren't even willing to consider that your partner will probably want something from you as their partner - and again I'm not necessarily talking about sex. This does not show your partner that they are worth anything to you. Even friendships are formed based on mutual interests and such - which implies you have something to offer them and their interests. And most friendships don't last when one of the friends openly admits he doesn't feel a need to contribute to the friendship. Neither do most platonic or romantic relationships. People like to feel valued. When I read your posts, I think of all the men I've walked away from who never saw me as an individual and made no attempt at trying to understand. That's probably why your posts, and watching you get mad at all the members who were calmly trying to help you, kept frustrating me to such extremes. So I'm going to step away here, too.

I would love to try to talk calmly with you about this more if you are ever interested in the conversation. Good luck, Marki.

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I'm on an asexual forum....why do you assume I want a sexual relationship? Derp.

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I just don't get it. It's like you're only reading half the sentences people write because you've consistently missed the points being made and instead interprate them as being attacks on your character.

In any case, I suppose it doesn't matter. I think by now there's a public consensus (for varying reasons) on the answer to your thread title.

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it is one thing if your preference is that you are not attracted to big girls, but it sounds like you only want to be with a non big girl so that people will congradulate you. it sounds shallow. you should be with someone because you like them. if you were with someone that made you unhappy would you stay with them for the compliments people give you ?

or if people made negative comments to you about being with a skinny girl would you still stay with her or end up dating a big girl if you got positive comments. there are people that are attractive that are also big such as adele, she is pretty. attraction is more than just size.

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I never said the only reason I want to be with someone is because they make me feel better. Everyone on here keeps misreading that comment and regardless of how many times I tell people that they still feel some odd urge to misread it and make some misinformed conclusion from it.

I'm tired of explaining to people that just because I want to be with someone who is attractive to myself and also to the general population that doesn't mean the ONLY reason that I want to be with them is because I feel enjoyment from being around attractive people. It ( I assumed) would have gone without saying that I wasn't going to be with someone based solely on their looks. Duh, if she is attractive but a horrible person I'll not want anything to do with her. How people can't seem to grasp that after repeatedly trying to explain that is just baffling to me.

I find many people who society views as beautiful to be in fact not. I have found supermodels to be bland looking, I find the majority of famous people to be ugly. Just because the girl is skinny and perceived by others to be attractive doesn't automatically make me consider them attractive.

So yes I do get a sense of pleasure in being with a girl who I am attracted to and I do like it if I was out with her and other people would be checking her out. I know that seems to be a source of serious debate on this topic and again I don't understand why people take such offense to that. It isn't like I don't want to be with her for any other reason. Of course I'd need to be compatible with her and looks alone are not the only thing a relationship is built on.

But I won't ever be with a large girl because I am not attracted to large people. I live in a very large state and I now know from friends that women don't like it when you talk about weight ever with them. So now I know never to talk about weight around girls again.

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MarieAntoinette

Hey Marki I found the perfect woman for you. She's beautiful, petite, submissive, and meek. She never speaks a word so you won't have to listen to her opinions or worry about her bothering you with her thoughts. You'll be able to take her out to all the bars and show her off to your male companions. She'll garner you the respect you deserve. The best thing is she doesn't have a brain so she won't realize her horrible situation and run away. She'll be yours...forever! Here she is:

26638.jpg

you can buy her here: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20093

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... oh dear. Guys, a polite suggestion here? Maybe you could give this thread a rest. It's not like anyone's benefiting from it, and really, is it worth getting angry about?

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... oh dear. Guys, a polite suggestion here? Maybe you could give this thread a rest. It's not like anyone's benefiting from it, and really, is it worth getting angry about?

I agree. I think this is just turning into one big miscommunication. I feel like many posts on here were genuinely trying to help OP but it's probably the kind of thing you will understand after getting into a relationship or two. So, I don't really see the point of insulting OP's views either.

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