Isn't demisexuality a description for the "typical" female sexuality?

[WhenSummersGone]

I'll add that as a Demisexual I don't really care for just the physical act of sex. I don't desire it, it sounds boring (it was boring), and I don't have sexual urges based on physical appearances no matter how "hot" someone is. It's only the emotional connection I have with someone that causes sexual desire for me, nothing else. The person doesn't even have to be good looking as long as I know who they are and like them as a person. This takes weeks or months.

[Lynxe]

This is basically how I tick:

My sex drive is absolutely dead outside of my relationship. I don't have sexual thoughts, urges, none of that, outside of my relationship. I wish I could say this is idealy what I'm like but in reality? This is my exact mind process. A lot of people tell me "You got to be lying, don't you have sexual fantasies about a stranger and/or celebrity?" Nope, not at all. My boyfriend is the "target" of all my sexual feelings/fantasies/desires/etc... Before we started officially dating, I found him appearance wise very handsome, but my mind went nowhere near sex. I just thought "Oh. he's good looking. Ok then, what next?" As I formed a very strong emotional bond with him and realized I was having romantic interests in him, we started dating and my sex drive went off the freaking charts.

With my ex, I was only infatuated with him and was in love with a made up idea of him I had created for myself. I was sexually coerced this entire last relationship.

This is how I came to the conclusion I'm demisexual.

This is exactly how I feel. Every part of it. :P

[cashmoneyivan]

You all hit the nail on the head. I never knew this about myself till I first entered a long term relationship and never really understood why I didn't feel anything until I felt this secure emotional bond with the partner and even early in, when I first slept with him, I felt...awkward.....uncomfortable and never understood why

Long story short, when I first found out about demisexuality I was like "oh...OHHHH" because I never desired sex or had sexual thoughts etc etc what others described.

It was just...nice to know why :D

[Guest]

This is basically how I tick:

My sex drive is absolutely dead outside of my relationship. I don't have sexual thoughts, urges, none of that, outside of my relationship. I wish I could say this is idealy what I'm like but in reality? This is my exact mind process. A lot of people tell me "You got to be lying, don't you have sexual fantasies about a stranger and/or celebrity?" Nope, not at all. My boyfriend is the "target" of all my sexual feelings/fantasies/desires/etc... Before we started officially dating, I found him appearance wise very handsome, but my mind went nowhere near sex. I just thought "Oh. he's good looking. Ok then, what next?" As I formed a very strong emotional bond with him and realized I was having romantic interests in him, we started dating and my sex drive went off the freaking charts.

With my ex, I was only infatuated with him and was in love with a made up idea of him I had created for myself. I was sexually coerced this entire last relationship.

This is how I came to the conclusion I'm demisexual.

This is exactly how I feel. Every part of it. :P

it's exactly the same for me with my partner, just minus the actual sex part. So I identify as demisensual asexual, instead of demisexual, but yes all the same feelings minus the actual sex :)

[Tarfeather]

EDIT/DISCLAIMER: Sorry, had to leave and didn't have much time to check over what I wrote. I wanted to use this post to make clear that the "asshole who's interested only in sex and doesn't care about friendship/romance/love" is something that in my experience applies to women nearly as often as to men. I don't want to imply that this kind of behavior is some general property of either gender. If you frequent these forums, it's very likely you don't match this stereotype; However, in general there are many who do.

The categorizing is a bit cumbersome, everyone seems to have a slightly varied understanding of "demisexual". So let's not talk about that, I'll instead mention a few real life experiences of me and my close male, sexual friends:

1. Imagine inviting a woman you like over, inviting another male friend of yours(who's a stranger to her), and the evening ending with the two of them sleeping with eachother in your presence. true story.

2. A girl dating you only for sex. End up unsatisfied, quit the relationship. Literally get told "You suck in bed anyway" and "Only those good in bed are allowed to stay with me". true story.

3. A girl sleeping with you twice because her boyfriend broke up with her, then dumping you because you're of no use anymore.

So, no, "demisexual" isn't the default for women. It is the case though that a woman can quite easily get by sex, and in many ways "make use" of the very sex-dependent men, which has left many of my friends very prejudiced against women.

[Visenya]

So, no, "demisexual" isn't the default for women. It is the case though that a woman can quite easily get by sex, and in many ways "make use" of the very sex-dependent men, which has left many of my friends very prejudiced against women.

Regarding that last sentence, I have to admit that I really don't get it why someone would continue to have casual sex if they can't deal very well with the casual aspect of it (I'm not talking about your friends, but in general). I mean, if you created expectations of having a relationship with a girl* you're just sleeping with (if she didn't promise anything more serious), that's not the girl's fault. In my opinion, some of the people who complain about "being used", are a bit immature, or reluctant to say they're into casual sex.

But anyway, regarding demisexuality, I know more women who "act" demisexual than men, but I wouldn't call it "typical female sexuality". Personally, I think I only know two women who aren't into one night stands (for non-religious reasons). From what I've seen and heard, I believe demisexuality is nowhere near as common as a lot of people think (especially those from Tumblr who claim that demisexuals suffer from "special snowflake syndrome").

*I only wrote "guy" because of language barrier, not sexism. It's just that, for me, it's easier to explain when I use one gender as an example (I need to take English classes ASAP!).

[The_Verse]

I have been pondering this question seriously since I came across the term demisexuality 10 days ago.

So often I (you?) hear that for women sexual attraction really is not about the physicality of it, but about the mind and about connection.

I know how my sexuality as a woman works, but that is really all. How do I know how it is really like for other women? But I so much would love to know.

I have always kind of assumed that in the end every human ticks like me and the tendency to want sex without emotions comes from being surpressing your own emotions (as most men are taught to do in our societies). I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that this might not be entirely accurate ;) But this now raises question for me:

Isn't it just how most women tick ... demisexuality I mean? Or am I still being naive.

I wish there was some research done into this. I cannot simply approach any woman that I meet and ask: How does sexual attraction work for you? And as much as I want numbers for the women of the world, I so much want numbers for men too. Since I am hoping like crazy to meet a man like that and I am fearing that they are so rare, that I never will. I want to know my real chances ... so strange how tables seem to be turned in this realm. Now I as a woman feel like I have to really be proactive to find a man like that.

I haven't read the thread, just your post.

I don't think it is the natural sexuality of women. Most of my friends talk about men and sex in a different way than I can relate to. They think some men are hot and I just can't relate. They show me pictures of men and get really excited and I'm just like.... ok.....

That's my experience of being demi.