Kellykinsss Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 This post is gonna be WAYYYYYYYY off-A!!!! The main reason I am making this post is because I have always found support here so I figured this is as good a place as any to make this post. That being said let's get started!! So as you can probably guess by the title I have struggled with my weight for my entire life. I was the fat kid in school. I was constantly made fun of for it. I was always picked last in gym class the list goes on. My parents got separated when I was six year old. My mom moved down to Florida and I stayed in New York with my dad. Just about ever Friday I would have my best friend over to spend the night and we would go to the local convenient store and get subs for dinner. We would always get two foot long subs my dad would eat one and my friend and I would share the other. I would always finish my half and what she didn't eat of hers. Needless to say I packed on the pounds there. A few years later my dad met my step mom and they got married (she was a very toxic person for me but that's a story for another post). Every year for Valentines Day she would make these huge chocolate chip cookies for my step brothers, my dad and I. She would also make large pepperoni rolls for us all on Christmas. And trust me I always ate every single bite of both. When I was 13 my dad and step mom went to Virginia for the weekend and I stayed back in NY with my cousin and her husband. We had went shopping at the mall one of the days and her and I left early to go back home. He stayed at the mall and didn't get back until super late. I had been sleeping in the living room when I heard him come inside. I had a basketball game to go to in the morning so I asked him what time it was and he said it was like 3AM so I layed back down and went to bed. Next thing I know he's laying on the floor next to me and has one down my pants and the other guiding my hand down his pants. At some point my cousin comes out and catches him on the floor and tells him to come to bed. Despite my best efforts I didn't sleep anymore more that night. The next morning my cousin and I were in the car on our way to my school and she asks me what happened and I couldn't say anything. That was the quietest car ride I had ever taken. My game went terrible my mind was a million other places my teammates were pissed off at me because of it. After my game my aunt and uncle were there to get me and I was really confused I remember asking where my cousin was and they didn't really give me a straight answer. They had apparently found out about what happened the night before and were asking me if I wanted them to call my dad and step mom and have them cut their trip short. I said no but she ended up calling them anyway and having me talk to them and I told them that they should stay there and that I was okay but they ended up coming back because the weather was pretty shitty where they were anyway so they weren't gonna miss much. They got to my aunts house around 10-11 that night and took me back home. The next morning we went to the police station and reported the abuse. My dad and step mom chose not to press charges on him. This is when my depression started and when I really lost control of my weight. My weight became my security blanket. I gained probably a good 50-80 pounds within a year. After my freshman year of high school my dad and step mom split up so my dad and I moved to a different town. I was at a new school and didn't have many friends so I found comfort in food. My depression was at a really bad point. I ran away twice. Thought about killing myself nearly every night and tried to strangle myself a couple times. My only happiness came when I was at hockey games, at karate lessons, or when I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I struggled with school my grades were terrible I ended up failing 10th grade. My dad and I were constantly fighting about my grades which obviously didn't help my depression. One day after a particularly bad fight I called my mom up and asked her if I could come live with her. On July 21, 2005 I moved to Florida. My depression seemed to get better almost instantly in my new environment. I started school in August and I did terrible. My grade were shitty but unlike with my dad my mom and I didn't fight over them she would just encourage me to do better next quarter. I didn't have friends at this school either so that was when I got creative and started talking in chat rooms and I made some friends but food was still the best. I weighed probably 200-250 lbs when I moved to Florida fast forward to today and I weigh 330 lbs (highest recorded weight being 355 lbs) with a whole slew of health problems (pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, hypothyroidism, and Poly Cystic Ovaries Syndrome). While I do still suffer with depression it has gotten much better with help from medication. I have tried just about every diet plan and exercise routine you can think of and the weight just doesn't go away. I'll lose 10-20 pounds and then fall off and gain 40 pounds and do it all over again. I've done it for the past 15 years of my life. Over the past year I've started looking into weight loss surgery but never seriously considered doing it until last month after my endocrinologist brought it up to me. I've been doing a bunch of research on the different surgery options. I've been watching YouTube videos of people documenting their journey through weight loss surgery. It's getting me really excited to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The specific surgery I am looking to get is called the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. (Below is a picture briefly showing what it looks like). If you read this entire post I commend you. TL;DR: Food is my BFF and it's time for me to make a change and that change is weight loss surgery. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 When I was 13 my dad and step mom went to Virginia for the weekend and I stayed back in NY with my cousin and her husband. We had went shopping at the mall one of the days and her and I left early to go back home. He stayed at the mall and didn't get back until super late. I had been sleeping in the living room when I heard him come inside. I had a basketball game to go to in the morning so I asked him what time it was and he said it was like 3AM so I layed back down and went to bed. Next thing I know he's laying on the floor next to me and has one down my pants and the other guiding my hand down his pants. At some point my cousin comes out and catches him on the floor and tells him to come to bed. Despite my best efforts I didn't sleep anymore more that night. The next morning my cousin and I were in the car on our way to my school and she asks me what happened and I couldn't say anything. That was the quietest car ride I had ever taken. My game went terrible my mind was a million other places my teammates were pissed off at me because of it. After my game my aunt and uncle were there to get me and I was really confused I remember asking where my cousin was and they didn't really give me a straight answer. They had apparently found out about what happened the night before and were asking me if I wanted them to call my dad and step mom and have them cut their trip short. I said no but she ended up calling them anyway and having me talk to them and I told them that they should stay there and that I was okay but they ended up coming back because the weather was pretty shitty where they were anyway so they weren't gonna miss much. They got to my aunts house around 10-11 that night and took me back home. The next morning we went to the police station and reported the abuse. My dad and step mom chose not to press charges on him. This is when my depression started and when I really lost control of my weight. My weight became my security blanket. I gained probably a good 50-80 pounds within a year. Very sad. :( I am sorry to hear that this happen. I am glad that someone spoke about it as many people do not speak. You are a strong person. You can do anything you put your mind too. I support you !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Artistofnoname Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 My mom had that surgery several years ago and it has worked well for her. I myself suffered really bad depression for many years and I'm sure we can both agree it is the worst feeling in the world. The feeling that all the happiness has left your world. I struggled for many years to stay sane and not do anything rash. It is only thanks to God and getting off the meds I was on that I was able to heal and become depression free. I can't say I know what it is like to through exactly what you did however I am very sorry that happened to you and can't imagine how painful it was to go through it. I have been abused by people in the past however and it is a rough road to overcome. If you ever need anyone to talk to don't hesitate to message me. Link to post Share on other sites
Safe Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I support you. I don't really have much else to say, and I can't offer to be there if you need to talk to someone, since I'm really bad at that stuff.Anyways, you have my support, if it helps. Good luck in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
kwililava Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I'm glad you finally took this decision after going through so many tough times in your life. Hopefully all will work well for you.By the way, can you please give me the links to the people who documented their journey ? I'm very interested in seeing that! Link to post Share on other sites
Kellykinsss Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 I'm glad you finally took this decision after going through so many tough times in your life. Hopefully all will work well for you. By the way, can you please give me the links to the people who documented their journey ? I'm very interested in seeing that! There are a ton of channels on YouTube just search weight loss surgery or VSG pre-op/post-op a few of my favorites are: https://www.youtube.com/user/mkd117 (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/Tiffanycocaine (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCurvyJones (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/Millabee67 (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LessofSarah (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LifeCoachLaurenVento (updated recently) I also follow a bunch of people on tumblr that have had the surgery or just post fitness and inspiration. http://mariairenabliss.tumblr.com http://thecurvyjones.tumblr.com http://dreambigwithwls.tumblr.com http://kirstyintheskywithbutter.tumblr.com http://themotivatedmrs.tumblr.com http://mia-59.tumblr.com http://april-takes-on-life.tumblr.com http://gastrickaleigh.tumblr.com http://imgonnamakeachange.tumblr.com http://thehealthybutterfly.tumblr.com http://ambahvsg.tumblr.com Link to post Share on other sites
kwililava Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I'm glad you finally took this decision after going through so many tough times in your life. Hopefully all will work well for you. By the way, can you please give me the links to the people who documented their journey ? I'm very interested in seeing that! There are a ton of channels on YouTube just search weight loss surgery or VSG pre-op/post-op a few of my favorites are: https://www.youtube.com/user/mkd117 (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/Tiffanycocaine (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCurvyJones (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/Millabee67 (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LessofSarah (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LifeCoachLaurenVento (updated recently) I also follow a bunch of people on tumblr that have had the surgery or just post fitness and inspiration. http://mariairenabliss.tumblr.com http://thecurvyjones.tumblr.com http://dreambigwithwls.tumblr.com http://kirstyintheskywithbutter.tumblr.com http://themotivatedmrs.tumblr.com http://mia-59.tumblr.com http://april-takes-on-life.tumblr.com http://gastrickaleigh.tumblr.com http://imgonnamakeachange.tumblr.com http://thehealthybutterfly.tumblr.com http://ambahvsg.tumblr.com Sorry it took me some time to thank you for the links with AVEN being down and all. So, thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
Kellykinsss Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 I'm glad you finally took this decision after going through so many tough times in your life. Hopefully all will work well for you. By the way, can you please give me the links to the people who documented their journey ? I'm very interested in seeing that! There are a ton of channels on YouTube just search weight loss surgery or VSG pre-op/post-op a few of my favorites are: https://www.youtube.com/user/mkd117 (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/Tiffanycocaine (hasn't updated) https://www.youtube.com/user/TheCurvyJones (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/Millabee67 (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LessofSarah (updated recently) https://www.youtube.com/user/LifeCoachLaurenVento (updated recently) I also follow a bunch of people on tumblr that have had the surgery or just post fitness and inspiration. http://mariairenabliss.tumblr.com http://thecurvyjones.tumblr.com http://dreambigwithwls.tumblr.com http://kirstyintheskywithbutter.tumblr.com http://themotivatedmrs.tumblr.com http://mia-59.tumblr.com http://april-takes-on-life.tumblr.com http://gastrickaleigh.tumblr.com http://imgonnamakeachange.tumblr.com http://thehealthybutterfly.tumblr.com http://ambahvsg.tumblr.com Sorry it took me some time to thank you for the links with AVEN being down and all. So, thank you so much! You're very welcome :D Link to post Share on other sites
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