shockkkk Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 There have been a lot of threads about people's reactions to being called hot, cute, sexy, or whatever. I have always found the responses surprising as I personally find such comments flattering. Poll is pretty self-explanatory, just answer how you feel (in general) if someone calls you one of these words. Please only reply if you are asexual/grey-A. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirge Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Bad all across the board. For 'sexy' and 'hot', it is because they're blatantly pointing out their desire for something I do not want to give. For 'cute' and 'pretty', they are doing the same, but with a healthy dose of misgendering on top. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 For me, "hot" and "sexy" are bad lol. Being called those things make me uncomfortable...very. Unless it's friends that I know are just joking around (though even that can be a bit exhausting). "Cute" and "pretty" are good though. I use "cute" to describe people I think are good-looking, and I'm most comfortable with that being a compliment for me as well. I'm not often called pretty, but I don't mind it. : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Purnkin Spurce Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Sexy= Looking at my body. Hot= Looking at my body and my face. Cute= Average. Pretty= Average but on a higher level. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Griff Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 I'd cringe and take a bath if someone called me sexy or hot. Ew. Cute is a little annoying, because I'm small, short and thin and people already think I look much younger. Pretty is nice because it means I'm aesthetically pleasing, not sexually. (even tho many people link both) Link to post Share on other sites
Mx.Jekyll Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 I wish there were more choices. I hate the word sexy. Hot is okay when it's coming from girlfriends. Cute makes me feel average and pretty is what everyone tells me, so it's grown to be really old. Beautiful...that is a term I love. Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 For whatever reason, I cannot stand being complimented. If it's from friends and family, I'll take it, but if it's from someone I don't trust/like or don't know that well, I feel ready to lash out. Link to post Share on other sites
sasai Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Words like "sexy" or "hot" are so far away from my self perception that being called so is just beyond ridiculous. Well, aside from making me wonder what I did wrong in life to be considered sp. As for "cute" and "pretty", I would wonder what's wrong with the caller's tastes. Clearly they haven't gotten the definitions right. Nothing a good blank stare can't fix ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
littleheartsofjoy Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 I like being called pretty and cute, and I'll prefer those. Sexy and hot though, I'm neutral about it. It's not terrible but it's also not my preference to be called those things. It's funny that I say that, because sometimes there are things that I can consider to be highly attractive. I would not ever use sexy though, but hot can come to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Mixed feelings for hot and cute. I can't help but treat "sexy" with more suspicion or contempt. I haven't really been called "pretty" before and that would be a pretty weird thing to say to me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Notte stellata Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Sexy and hot: neutral. Pretty and cute: good. It largely depends on the context and who made the compliments. They're all good if from a partner or friend (though I doubt friends will call each other sexy or hot). All the "sexy" and "hot" comments I've got, apart from those from my partner, were from people who were attracted to my body but had little interest to know me as a person, and some also made creepy or objectifying comments alongside "sexy" and "hot," which is why I like these two words less. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I don't like any of these terms because they almost always are referring to some degree of physical appreciation/attraction, which makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to be noticed for those reasons. Hot/sexy are even worse because they go straight into the even more creepy sexual appreciation/attraction territory. I am somewhat more tolerant of these terms if they are coming from established friends, because that way I know they've at least found me noticeable for other reasons. Even still... there are numerous better ways to pay me a compliment, which is something I would expect my friends to know (otherwise I probably would not have chosen them as a friend in the first place) For 'cute' and 'pretty', they are doing the same, but with a healthy dose of misgendering on top. I don't understand what those terms inherently have to do with misgendering, unless you're saying male/masculine people can't be cute or pretty Link to post Share on other sites
eeriesilence Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Sexy: Bad, I've had too many bad experiences with leering for sexy not to be a nono. Hot, Pretty: Neutral. I've found that "pretty" is the basic "compliment" you get when among acquaintances/shallow friends. Doesn't really mean much. Cute: Good. Except for when I'm dressing to be something other than cute. >.<' Link to post Share on other sites
cathugger Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 For 'cute' and 'pretty', they are doing the same, but with a healthy dose of misgendering on top. I don't understand what those terms inherently have to do with misgendering, unless you're saying male/masculine people can't be cute or pretty It's a convention that girls and women are more often considered cute and pretty than boys and men, and even that those female-coded words can be used as insults similar to "you throw like a girl". Those words just really carry the meaning of the contexts they are used in most often. And while it may be subversive to use them on cis men, using them on anyone who is trans and not a woman can cause dysphoric feelings. That's not about "we all know you can be pretty no matter what gender you are", most non binary people and trans men will agree with that, it's just about how comfortable a specific person is about being associated with stereotypical traits of a gender they're not. Especially when they're wrongly perceived as women a lot of the time anyway. For me personally, my feelings about those words depend on who uses them and when. I have some friends who could probably call me hot and sexy and I'd just be happy, but most other times they would make me uncomfortable. Not because they imply i might be a more sexual beingthan i am though, more because it's just… really, really inappropriate to call people you barely know sexualised words? Obviously street harrassment is bad in itself, but also guys I work with on a project who just assume I'd be interested in them approving of my looks… no. Eww. Same for cute, but there are definitely more people I'd be ok with calling me cute than sexy/hot. Cute can just be really condescending coming from the wrong position. Pretty feels ok coming from people who know and accept I am not a woman, but not from most other people. Also it's more ok when it's just about a part of me, like my nail polish, rather than my over all appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Frac Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I wish too be praised for my achievements more than personal attributes, so compliments focusing on looks don't really make my day or anything (thus, I voted neutral for most). Hotness or sexiness especially don't mean anything for me, but cuteness is a-okay, since I associate it with romantic feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Ultima Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 For me, all those words have pretty much the same meaning. I do not mind being called sexy, hot, or cute, (not that these compliments get thrown at me very much) although I do not think anyone has ever called me pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 They are all compliments, aren´t they? :D So I feel good. Anything is better than "ugly" and similar reactions. But I prefer "pretty" or "cute" over "sexy" or "hot". Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Darkhorse Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Pretty and cute are good. Hot is neutral. The only time I've heard myself described as sexy is when I'm being creeped on by random men. So that's definitely a negative association. Ironically, it's always on public transportation too... Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Cakes Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Sexy and hot are bad because they both feel sexual/objectifying. Cute is fine, I don't really care. Pretty is good, usually. Link to post Share on other sites
enjolras Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 generally good; never been called sexy but i feel like it would make me uncomfortable (chose "neutral" for that one) Link to post Share on other sites
Blacky Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I don't like compliments that have anything to do with sex. To me 'hot' and 'sexy' are out and I hate them. Cute and pretty though - yes please! (Goodness knows I need to learn to compliment myself more since I don't do that enough.) Link to post Share on other sites
Christinanc93 Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 "Sexy" and "hot" make me feel vulnerable and a bit violated, but "pretty" and "cute" are fine. I guess I use those words to describe all sorts of nouns all the time, and there's no sexual connection. "Sexy" or "hot" translates in my mind to "I'm going to/I want to rape you" probably because everyone who has ever called me those things has either tried or succeeded at doing so.... But I can't see someone attacking me whilest repeating "you're so pretty! My god, you're so cute, you're like a box full of kittens!" Link to post Share on other sites
DexM Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I don't think anyone over the age of 16 should use the term "hot" in this way. Hot, is a no-no. Just........no. Keep it to yourself. Please! I don't mind my girlfriend calling me sexy, it feels more appropriate this way, but I don't care much for anyone else labelling me like that. Especially some pissed up hag on a night out, bellowing at the top of her voice from across the street, "How sex-ay....PHWOAR!" Cute and pretty, I have no problem with whatsoever. Along with beautiful and gorgeous, I feel they have a more intimate meaning, an actual meaning copmared to hot, and wouldn't have any problem with being given such a compliment. Pissed up hags on nights out, rarely use these two. Link to post Share on other sites
romantic-woman Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I like pretty or nice i feel neutral about cute (it reminds me of a little bear) i feel bad with hot and sexy cause they may have sexual feelings towards me Plus i don't like sexy clothes. Link to post Share on other sites
Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 I feel ambivalent about sexy, hot and pretty, but I like it when friends call me cute (to me it's more about my personality than a compliment to my looks) Link to post Share on other sites
blossombreeze Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 Compliments on my appearance always make me feel weird to some degree. At the same time, I love the power that I find in wearing the clothes I want, mixing the "binary" styles (i'm going to go into making unisex clothing, so this subject of the gender binary in clothing matters to me). "Sexy" and "Hot" carry that sexual connotation with it, so I'm especially put off by those. "Cute". I used to like this term a lot, because I could pretend that they mean cute like the way a puppy/kitten is cute. but the older I get, the creepier it sounds, and it just carries that sexualizing young women connotation with it for me. "Pretty" This is okay, I guess. It's like saying your food is decent. Not amazing, not nasty either, but somewhere on the better side of okay. "Gorgeous" depends who says it. "Beautiful" depends who says it. Both Gorgeous/ Beautiful is nice to hear out of genuine mouths, but it still makes me uncomfortable because they carry heavy feminine connotations. Same with all of these compliments above, actually. "Handsome" I don't mind, even though it carries heavy male connotations. Are there any physical appearance compliments that don't refer to gender? Link to post Share on other sites
FiddleKid Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 The only compliment I don't mind is "cute" anything else is a no Link to post Share on other sites
herenya Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 For me, it actually depends on the situation, on the person complimenting me, on the tone they use... if it feels to me like someone's being nice just because, it's okay, and I like receiving compliments quite a bit. As soon as the complimenting slips into flirting, or becomes too suggestive, or I can see the person looking at me in a sexual way, it feels really, really weird and unpleasant, and I feel like running away. Link to post Share on other sites
Blinkin Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Since I've never been called hot or sexy i've entered neutral because I think that is how i would feel. Cute and pretty is something that hasn't been said much to me. i've only been called pretty by 3-4 people I know. Link to post Share on other sites
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