I am done.

[Mandie June]

Okay, this is a little history about this... reply.

I am very picky about how people spell their words out. If you're going to say "you are" (shortened) do not, oh man, PLEASE do not put "your" we're all adults. We all took basic grammar / spelling in school. Let's act like it.

Anyway! I corrected someone and they asked if i always acted like that. I said yes. why? and they were like, "because i want to marry you!" and i said no. and they asked why and i went on this HUGE (okay, a few short messages) rant about why you don't ask strangers to marry you. And this was the reply I had got:

ummm I was being sarcastic a. and b, that's what you get for making assumptions. those are my nephews. I Guess the fact that your 24dosent matter, you seem pretty insecure and immature. for the record my little brother knows you, and I thought he ws joking, guess not. see ya

lol your ugly as shit lol

Excuse me for having strong emotions. Apparently aces (he was apparently an ace...) can be so rude like this. I mean, honestly. It blows me away that I said, "no. i don't want to marry you" whether you're joking or not.... it's just.... I do not understand. I guess I'm suppose to be a dumb haha you're so funny kind of person. Because that's what girls are suppose to be, right? submissive?

[CrossingRivers]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I acquired the nickname "Grammar Nazi" some years ago, which I rather despise, though I do tend to feel very strongly about proper spelling and grammar. I've had to develop what I refer to as an "internet filter" -- I have somewhat trained my brain to automatically correct misspellings such as "your vs. you're" on the internet, because I've come to accept that I can't correct everyone.

Also, I have similar reactions to sexist and otherwise insulting comments. I get annoyed with people like that. They are, in fact, the ones being immature.

My advice: Forget them. They're not worth your time and effort. Have some cake instead.

[poindexter]

You don't have to rant to someone about a stupid joke they made, it's enough to ignore them, or make a witty come-back or something like that. Laughing at someone's joke doesn't make someone submissive, and writing an angry rant isn't always the way to go.

I agree with above poster: Forget about it and move on.

[thylacine]

Okay, you have a thing about spelling... well, just gotta tell yah, you said "he," then you say, "they." How did "he" suddenly get to be plural? And you did not capitalize 'why' and 'and' at the start of a sentence. And you could have used quotation marks, too... You gotta capitalize i when you refer to yourself. I am not picking on you, but you get on other people's spelling, so... Not trying to hurt your feelings, but you can't get on other people's spelling, then use grammar and punctuation that way. Just sayin'!

And oh, it's not just aces who can be rude. People are rude all over the internet, all over the roadways, too, when they cut you off and give you the finger, and rude on the phone, and-and-and... all kinds of people are rude, not just aces. PUH-LEEZE!

Once again, not picking on you, just sayin'!

[katbees]

Hey! Although good grammar and spelling are nice I think you would be surprised to see the statistics on how many adults are 'functionally illiterate' (in the UK 16% of adults or 5.2 million are illiterate), 21% of adults in the USA read below a 5th grade level and a lot of people don't finish high school. So please try and be considerate of this when expecting everyone to have the same level of education as you. English is also not the first language of everybody! People in poorer areas may have had more to worry about growing up than spelling properly so getting angry at people for not having the same level of literacy as you is sort of classist. idk I've never really liked 'grammar nazis', as long as you can understand someone there's no need to make a big deal out of poor grammar. Aces and non aces alike can be rude, its not something that has any connection to sexuality, I've found. The dude does seem pretty entitled and sexist which is unacceptable but I don't really think this is the appropriate place for you to be talking about this as I can't see any REAL relevance to asexuality.

[Mandie June]

oh, excuse me. I forgot that my rantings have to have perfect grammar when I'm trying to get a point across. Pardon me, next time I'll try to be better and perfect.

[CrossingRivers]

I don't really think this is the appropriate place for you to be talking about this as I can't see any REAL relevance to asexuality.

In all fairness to Mandie June, this section is called Asexual Musings and Rantings. I do believe this qualifies as a rant.

[katbees]

??? they only brought it up because your post was complaining about somebody else's grammar.

[elainetta]

Grammar and spelling aside, the person with the random proposal was being quite crude, it seems. I wouldn't blame their actions on their sexuality, though, because many aces on here are actually repulsed by the idea of marriage and relationships, and would never make comments like that legitimately. No, you were not supposed to laugh, because - I think - that person was being a troll (trying to annoy you on purpose, and succeeding). And if you tell someone off for trolling, which you apparently did... that never ends well. It only gets you more trolling.

Wasn't the sexuality. It was the person their-self.

[Sage Raven Domino]

That's why I don't like IM services where I can't edit messages. (Yes, often I proofread and edit Skype chat messages and forum posts.)

I think imperfect writing is forgivable among friends, but I wouldn't be that sloppy when chatting with a prospective romantic partner and would deem such frequent misspellings a sign of a lack of romantic interest in me.

It's appalling that one ace could call another ugly. We face so much disapproval from sexuals that it's natural for most of us (apparently not for all) to be polite to each other.

[Guest]

Well basically the above covers it. Do not assume that because somebody is ace, they will be any better than anybody else. They are ultimately just humans like the rest of us and assuming they will be better is a form of prejudice. Other than that, you can not fix everybody, sometimes you have to move on.

Also I see you care about grammar and I apologize if I made any errors, feel free to correct them, but I have dyslexia so catching them myself is very difficult.

[Mandie June]

??? they only brought it up because your post was complaining about somebody else's grammar.

I put it in here because they were also asexual, that's why they messaged me. why they wanted to interact with me.

And I was just going to show that, as an asexual, i don't judge people off their looks, and because i was upset over the whole situation, and called him out, he called me ugly. So, i mean..... it's a grey line.

[mywoundedknee]

I've seen much much worse errors. I'm numb to it now and try my best to understand what's being said. That aside, did it happen on this site? There's something that's been bothering me, and I think your rant is relevant to my issue.

[deleted_account]

I had a really bad case of Grammarcorrectionitus. Then I made friends with someone who had dyslexia. I realized people are coming from different places with regards to grammar and spelling. Some non-verbal deaf people have bad grammar due to the fact that many speak sign language and not verbal English. There are also people who have relocated from other countries and are still learning all the rules about grammar and spelling. Being rude to someone because of a perceived lack of intelligence isn't nice. While it's important to spell properly and speak correctly in a professional setting, if a person's writing gets their message across, why not focus on what they are saying instead of how they are saying it?

You don't have to agree with me. I hate when people type stupid, but I've done the same thing as a joke so I guess I'm a hypocrite... that said, asking strangers to marry you is a little weird and seems to be an inefficient way to bond. I think it's easy to joke about such things, but you never know who might end up taking you seriously... sounds like an episode of Dr Phil waiting to happen if you ask me.

[. . .but there are sounds]

I would request, regardless of circumstance, while posting on the forum, folks not nit-pick over grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. I can appreciate the impulse to correct people, I share it on occasion, but must of the time all it does is put people on the defensive and make the forum less pleasant for everyone.

Thank you,

. . .but there are sounds,

Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator

[Zash]

Part of my RL job is nitpicking grammar. I get it out of my system there. I do have a good way to get most people to understand the importance of capitalization, even though it is a bit icky. The following sentence has very different meanings if you change the capitalization.

Spoilered for ick:

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.

I don't nitpick that much, but, if you make your sentence ambiguous, I sometimes will take the unintended meaning as what you mean and joke about it. And I am guilty of it too, so, if you catch me at it, feel free to poke fun at me too.

[Sage Raven Domino]

I would request, regardless of circumstance, while posting on the forum, folks not nit-pick over grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. I can appreciate the impulse to correct people, I share it on occasion, but must of the time all it does is put people on the defensive and make the forum less pleasant for everyone.

That's great advice that applies not only to the language. Sometimes it's better to just tolerate another person's shortcoming - possibly change your own opinion of them basing on it, but not berate them unless they're explicitly asking you to help them improve. That's what I do despite being sensitive to others' language usage.

Having a grammar mistake corrected feels about as awkward as, say, being berated on the first date for not combing the hair well enough or not wearing perfume.

[Guest]

Part of my RL job is nitpicking grammar. I get it out of my system there. I do have a good way to get most people to understand the importance of capitalization, even though it is a bit icky. The following sentence has very different meanings if you change the capitalization.

Spoilered for ick:

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.

I don't nitpick that much, but, if you make your sentence ambiguous, I sometimes will take the unintended meaning as what you mean and joke about it. And I am guilty of it too, so, if you catch me at it, feel free to poke fun at me too.

Wait wouldn't it be "Uncle, Jack," or do I just not know how to Engrish?

Wait, I realize what I missed, it was correct. Uncle Jack being the thing he was called, not Uncle, who's name is Jack. I can not brain today, I have the dumb.

[MystiqueSister]

The thing about correcting people's grammar on forums is that it is essentially a form of trolling. Yes, they spelt it wrong but at the end of the day, pointing it out is just going to piss off said poster. The only time I correct grammar is when my friends on facebook have posted something and their autocorrect has had its way with their wording which is usually funny. Then (because they know that I'm just stirring the cauldron) I'll have a dig.

[Corretto]

Ah! At last; someone from the right side of the planet [^]. Welcome Aussie-Ace!

I was just going to add, that the North American is very lucky all web-sites seem to condemn the spelling of we humble folk of recent Anglo-extraction [incl. Kiwi & Koala ^]. I often wonder if you folk 'up there' actually realise [there's an example] what we're trying to convey, from 'down here', due to our distorted spelling.

Mandie might like to let us know if it's acceptable. Thanks for you're your time. Cia

[Mandie June]

okay, people are really missing the point. I don't appreciate being blown up over a grammatical error, letting people know, hey. it's wrong.

but then I was called ugly. Being ace, i don't really judge people off looks (i don't know if others do... but i don't) and i don't think that it was nice to call one ace ugly because they didn't meet your expectations.that was just the whole point.

[Guest]

I do not think using anything intentionally derogatory towards another person is ever helpful or right, but there is not much we can do about it, maybe pointing out calmly that it hurt your feelings could help and if they are a decent person they might apologies, but otherwise sometimes the only thing you can do is ignore them.

[Geo]

but then I was called ugly. Being ace, i don't really judge people off looks (i don't know if others do... but i don't) and i don't think that it was nice to call one ace ugly because they didn't meet your expectations.that was just the whole point.

It's just a defensive response to being ranted at. Nobody likes that. You sort of glossed over that bit of the story in your OP. I serious doubt he was judging your appearance, nor was he upset by your rejection oh his obviously joke marriage proposal. People get defensive when you direct anger at them, that's just human nature.

[Techie]

??? they only brought it up because your post was complaining about somebody else's grammar.

This is where Skitt's Law comes into play:

Skitt’s Law is an Internet axiom which states that people who correct other’s spelling or grammar are likely to commit errors themselves. It is often used as a humorous critique of the pedantic Internet users known as Grammar Nazis. Several similar laws referring to the same principle have arisen independently, but Skitt’s Law is the most prevailing term.

It is a variation of Muphry's Law (Murphy spelled incorrectly) which states:

(a) if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written;

[.diva plavalaguna.]

At first reading just the OP, I definitely didn't think ace-dude's marriage proposal was serious. But then I read some of your other posts in here and it sounds like this happened on some kind of dating site? Idk. That makes it harder to judge whether it was a joke or not. If it wasn't a joke, it's definitely creepy and that for me is the time to hit the ignore or block button.

Judging by what the ace-dude said in the end (little brother knows you), sounds like they thought you'd be a cool person to talk to. Then you not only corrected their grammar, but ranted at them over something that may/may not have been a joke. That's kinda extreme and I could understand them being pissed off. The ugly as shit part just sounds like pissed off retaliation. Not nice, but then you weren't too nice either.

I get the wanting to correct people thing (my personal pet peeve is when people type "women" instead of "woman," wtf??), but there is a time and place for that and you also need to consider whether or not you know the person you are talking to. I don't think most people will appreciate being corrected outside of, say, doing research/school-type papers lol. Almost every time I've seen a self-proclaimed "Grammar Nazi" (no idea why anyone would call themselves anything to do with nazis...) go out of their way to correct someone, it ends badly. It's just a line I wouldn't cross unless I know the other person wants/would appreciate it.

I also don't see this as an ace issue. Personally, I see at least 3-4 ugly folks a day (sometimes myself included, lmao). Not all aces lack aesthetic preferences. Not all aces are nice, or like Dr. Who, or know what a tardis is, or like cats LOL. I'd like to think we're as diverse a group outside our asexuality as sexuals are. Wouldn't take the "ugly as shit" thing personally at all.

[Guest]

Also as a side note, I do not like the term grammar Nazi. That seems a bit harsh, I do not call people who comment on fashion, fashion Nazis, or those who say something about other's social interactions social Nazis, it just does not seem right to me.