Minimal contact with opposite gender

[sStephen]

A pretty common theme i've noticed in the Ace community, (and many others as well) is people craving affection but rarely ever interacting with the opposite gender (in a face to face sense). I'm 100% guilty of this, I can count on one hand the amount of face to face non-professional conversations i've had with a woman this summer.

Depending on your age the decisions on what to do can vary and be really difficult. Avoid the problem and let it manifest into a fear, or tackle it head on and try and learn what you should have already known . Both have there ups and devastating downs.

I really don't want to avoid the opposite gender for the rest of my life. but the only alternative is to thrust myself into social situations...i mean what other possibilities could there be? if you wan't affection go get it...or some crap like that haha

[Philip027]

I'm actually the opposite; I gravitate toward interactions with the opposite sex, because I often feel alienated/disgusted at my own. I am ace, but likely still "hetero" in at least some form.

I don't know if it's really an ace thing but more so of a gender thing.

[alpacaterpillar]

I'm in a similar situation for the most part. Recently though, it's kind of been the other way around in my current university courses, but that's mostly coincidence due to group discussions and also that a tutor missed the first tutorial for a course (he went to the wrong room with some other students), so the rest of us spent the hour chatting and made friends :D. I guess it's kind of nice, especially considering I'm particularly enjoying my courses this semester.

But I doubt it will last beyond the semester, and I'm still confused about how relationships start (and every once in a while I really wonder if I should have one or not).

[poindexter]

My friends are all guys, but I don't really crave affection. I can make friends with women, but I prefer the company of guys.

My family is mostly women (i have three sisters, no brothers), so I have plenty of interaction with my own gender also.

[FiddleKid]

I prefer the company of the opposite gender as long as they are happy with a platonic non-affectionate friendship and no more

[deltaX]

I used to be like that - only having minimal contact with the opposite gender until the end of high school. Back in elementary school people told me boys had cooties and by high school everyone was claiming that girls and guys can't be just friends because one will always be attracted (either romantically or sexually) to the other. Since I wasn't attracted to any guys in that way I though friendship with guys was impossible.

Then, my senior year, a guy who was in a lot of out classes started to become part of our friend group, and I realized what people were telling me about how the opposite gender cant be friends was a total lie. I still am a little cautious around guys at first, but now I am friends with people of both/all genders. Its a good thing too, because as a STEM student, most of my classmates are boys now.

[Xavy]

I have no problems whatsoever interacting with people, I just prefer to not interact with anyone most times. There have been weekends when I have literally not spoke to a single real life person, not a single word, and I am just fine with that. Whereas others may find it weird or strange, I don't see my not interacting with the opposite sex as a problem at all, I don't consider it as something I need to fix. I guess you can say I interact with people on my own terms and I do it quite successfully.

[Fire & Rain]

I'm only comfortable with touching people I'm emotionally close to. Their sex and gender don't really matter to me.

[Zash]

I tend to avoid the opposite gender because I am afraid that they will be attracted to me. In high school, it seemed like every girl who I became friends with eventually wanted a romantic relationship... Being aro, that was not on my list of things I wanted. So I started avoiding straight women. I have mostly male friends, and all my female friends are lesbians. Works fairly well for me.

[sStephen]

Hindsight 20/20 this should be in the tea and sympathy section

[littleheartsofjoy]

Even though I'm in a major that has more guys than the girls, I still don't really have many guy friends. That hasn't really changed before I started the major to now, I just tend to be more likely to have friends that are girls.

At work, there are more girls than guys, but either way, I don't talk to them on my own, unless I'm asking something work related.

[Skycaptain]

Snap. I now realise I have spent my whole adult life hiding from single women. The only exceptions being my doctor- I felt safe there because her profession erected a safety barrier- and those I knew were lesbians. This has been due to fear. I have been genuinely frightened that a single woman might want something I couldn't give them. This fear has, before, lead to me running out of a club because a lady was trying to chat me up, and I didn't know who to say "no" without giving men the wrong idea as well.Finding this site where people only want company and friendship at meet-ups has been a source of great comfort and hope.

[Squirrel Combat]

I don't really go out of my way to avoid the opposite gender, it's that there are virtually no places around where I live where I can find single, attractive women that share my interests. And here on AVEN, I just don't have enough in common with anyone to bother with PMing them anymore.

Also, I'm a little afraid of failing with a girl again before I even reach relationship status with them.

[EmotionalAndroid]

It is hard for me to avoid men in my field, but I generally try to stay away from social interactions because I am afraid they will expect any relationship I have with them to turn into a non-asexual one. I actually avoid social interactions with women too, mostly because I don't understand them and I have social anxiety anyway.

I do really wish I wouldn't be afraid to interact, as maybe someday I'd find a guy like me. I'd just have to deal with a lot of nonsense along the way. D:

[PaperCranes]

I'm fine interacting with both genders. However, I do back off and get a little nervous when I can't discern whether a guy is being "friendly" versus "flirty".

[theMOONmonarch]

I actually REALLY go out of my way to avoid the opposite gender (except people related to me). Since i was like 13 when they started getting crushes. I'm just so afraid they're going to say/do something vulgar and I completely panic. It has been a major factor in my career choice, not wanting to be around men. Actually, I don't much like being around many women, either, when they talk about sex or something that disgusts me.

I like being alone because I don't like having to talk and I don't like people interrupting my train of thought. That said, I would like quiet, introspective company.