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'splain me romanticism


cethmistmyk

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So I've recently started dating this guy (which I'm still on the fence how I feel about this), but while I was freaking out about our first date (which went quite well) I was trying to pin down my romantic orientation (to more easily communicate what I want).

It's a lot harder than I thought! :wacko:

I've rather settled on aromantic, mostly because I just don't get romance. It doesn't repulse me, I'm just rather ambivalent about it. I've been looking at "romantic things to do with your partner" to try and understand romance. Half of the romantic suggestions are rather too sexual for my taste. The other half are things that I would feel comfortable doing with my best friend (no particular person, just the 'idea'). Although several suggestions include novel ways of expressing love and putting them first.

Anywho, those of you who are romantic, what do you do, what does it feel like? And how is that different from doing something with your best friend (Queer Platonic Partner)? Or is it mostly just a mindset (which I don't seem to have).

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Thing is, everyone will have different takes on this. It's like trying to define love.

About the only thing that you might be able to get most (and not even all) people to agree on is that generally it will feel like more of a higher-intensity connection than what most friends would experience. I don't know if "romanticism" is something that I experience, but I can experience those sorts of connections. It's possible that they might fall more in line with the sort of "platonic partnership" sort of deal, but I really don't know yet which sort of term better fits how I feel.

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For me - I like my friends, I like hanging out / talking to my friends. I love my friends. But, there is a significantly different feeling when it's a romantic interest. There is a, I don't know, chemical surge I guess which produces a overall content/happy feeling over the silliest things - seeing them after a while of being apart, their touch, them doing something I find attractive (like, a guy being nice to animals, awww). And I also have an interest in doing things I do not do with friends - cuddling, kissing.

But, as Phil says, it's so different for everyone. Unfortunately, we each have to define it for ourselves.

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