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Am I romance repulsed?


Nerd On Duty

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Nerd On Duty

Hey there. So hopefully you guys can help me out? I'm at my wit's end.

The other day I've wondered what people want from romantic relationship since there's this guy who keeps hitting on me but I don't really like that kind of attention (not only sexual but honest romantic). He's nice enough and everything but I'm just not interested at all.

But then this morning I thought about it again without such context and thought "Maybe, why not? Depends on the person, I guess". Only a few hours later I was annoyed by the very concept of romantic relationships (like "if you want to have them, sure why not, just go away where I can't see you"). Which is why I wondered if it's not the romanticism but the PDA that bothers me and since then my head's swimming. Thoughts?

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I'm not sure. You could be.

I don't like PDA either. I find it pointless and annoying. I'm romance repulsed and from my personal experience it doesn't become apparent until later in romantic relationships. I kinda like the beginning of romantic relationships and then I get more and more repulsed as the relationship goes on. I think the simple explanation would be I get annoyed by romance, romantic couples, romantic gestures and almost everything related to romance.

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Nerd On Duty

First off: thanks for replying! :)

Second: I get where you come from. It's totally me on a no-romance-day, but those are actually only about 35% of the time for me. 40% of the time I can just ignore it and then it doesn't bother me and the rest (25%) I kind of get why people like it an can bear being exposed to PDA from people I Iike (for example: two of my best friends are together and their PDA doesn't bother me, maybe because it's not very overt, but when I go to the cinema with them and I don't manage to avoid a movie with some kind of romantic stuff in it I get sick because the two main characters hold hands while - at the same time - my friends doing the very same thing doesn't get to me at all).

Most of the time it's just a general feeling of "oh not again, doesn't this ever get old?" like when I see thirty people in a row wearing the same fashion trend.

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You're welcome! :D

You might be repulsed by or sick of romantic culture and representation in the media. Everyone is different. I can handle fictional romance just fine. Sometimes I even admire it. I'm more repulsed by real life romance especially if it's directed towards me. We can all be repulsed by romance in our own ways. I'm more bothered by romance on certain days too. Sometimes I hear a piece of romantic lyrics and I gag lol Other times I'm singing along to it.

Do you ever feel like romance is totally fake? I feel that way sometimes.

btw Great avatar! I love Cass :D

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I guess I kind of understand this. I never understand couples who act all mushy. It seems ridiculous and forced to me. I always pictured my ideal romantic relationship to be with someone who's essentially my best friend. The only difference being that sex might happen. I don't really see the difference in feelings between romantic relationships and a friends with benefits type thing. This led to the revelation that I'm most likely aromantic. So romance does seem sort of fake to me, because I can't really understand those kinds of emotions.

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Nerd On Duty

Once again, thanks for the reply/ies!

It's really calming that I'm not alone in this because I've felt that way for a really long time.

I usually get bothered no matter what kind of day when I get the feeling something is fake/over-the-top/etc., not just with romance-y things but just everything. I don't like fakes. I also adore my friends and their relationship, especially since it works really well and they're not just romantic partners but also best friends and I can see both in their interactions and I know that I could work with something like that for myself too, but then I'm worried that it wouldn't be fair to whomever if the kind of relationship would change from day to day based on only my feelings/attitude because it wouldn't be just me then. Does that sound understandable or at least coherent?

(P.S. Fire & Rain: Thanks! I like him a lot because he was the first "person" on TV I could ever fully relate to. I would say he's been kind of a guardian angel for me... :) )

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verily-forsooth-egads

You're welcome! :D

You might be repulsed by or sick of romantic culture and representation in the media. Everyone is different. I can handle fictional romance just fine. Sometimes I even admire it. I'm more repulsed by real life romance especially if it's directed towards me. We can all be repulsed by romance in our own ways. I'm more bothered by romance on certain days too. Sometimes I hear a piece of romantic lyrics and I gag lol Other times I'm singing along to it.

Do you ever feel like romance is totally fake? I feel that way sometimes.

btw Great avatar! I love Cass :D

Huh. Personally I get more annoyed by fictional romance. In real life, there are actual people who are making each other happy, and that's sweet. If I really like the ship, I can sometimes feel the same way about fiction, but more often it just makes me sigh heavily and think, Here we go again.

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I don't mind certain kinds of PDA. I feel happy in response to seeing others happy, romantically or otherwise.

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