Tja Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I'm becoming militant with my black ring. It's surprisingly easy. Especially at the bar. Sex inevitably comes up. I then insert a comment about asexuals and after the initial 'HUH? ', I can explain about being Ace. Have done it a couple of times now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 MystiqueSister - I guess the only people I worry about asking me about it are my family. I still live at home, so I might have to explain and I am still afraid about coming out. I don't know why, though. I'm going through the same thing. I usually put my black ring in my pocket when I'm leaving the house so that my parents don't see, and then put it on again when I get in my car. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but my mom notices every little thing I do and I think she would notice if I suddenly start to wear a black ring all the time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ultima Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I am posting mostly as attempt to revive this topic. Also for those who have been following this topic, has anyone given any thought about our ace greeting? I definitely think we should start off with Unicorn Duo for 2 aces and Unicorn Blessing for multiple aces. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RoswellValentine Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I have a black ring and wear it most of the time when I leave the house, but only my mom ever noticed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
verily-forsooth-egads Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Not yet. I'm still on the lookout for the right one, but I really like the idea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I have a black One Ring (like tja and the others), but I don't wear it much - my right hand abhors jewelry for long periods of time. I wear it to the Hobbit movies, though! ;) Then it can do double-duty! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squawk Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 ? Is wearing black rings a thing? Sorry about asking Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ultima Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 ? Is wearing black rings a thing? Sorry about asking Asexual pride ring. You wear a black ring on the middle finger of your right hand. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Torus Orion Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Man, do I ever feel out of "the know". I never knew a black ring symbolized Aces. Over the yrs I have worn a black hematite ring. I just like hematite. I don't get to wear jewelry very often because of work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cheery Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I've only been wearing mine since yesterday, and I still have to get used to it. I've never worn a ring for long periods of time before, but I really like the whole idea of it and connecting it to asexual pride. Wearing it gives me a great feeling. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thatotherguy57 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I love my ring. More so because of the irony. It's a tungsten wedding band. I wear it all the time, except at home. I use a trackball, and it's really uncomfortable to use while wearing a ring. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
linz.rasmussen Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 So I was just at a Flea Market that was selling black rings for two dollars. So I bought one. And now I have a question. I do not normally wear jewelry so I feel strange wearing it. How many of you wear black rings on the middle finger of your right hand? Do you have any asexual friends who also wear black rings? I haven't really met any other asexuals where I am, cause I live out in the middle of nowhere and it's a drive to get anywhere from here. As for the ring, I never wore rings on a regular basis but I decided to buy one anyway. I wanted something sturdy though cause at work it would inevitably get banged up. I chose this ring: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0071FIMRU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 It has been perfect and is made of tungsten. I've banged it on everything, scraped it on metal railings, and it's looked scratched but then I rub the supposed scratch and it disappears. I love it. It's only 8mm wide and it's plain but I don't care. Best $18.00 (plus shipping) I've ever spent. Also, the company that sells them is awesome about exchanging them if they don't fit. I had to exchange mine once and got it back in less than a week. I wear it every day on my right middle finger without issue. I hardly even notice it's there. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EmotionalAndroid Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 So I have been thinking about motivations for wearing Ace pride stuff. I sort of would like to wear either a ring or a bracelet of the pride flag colors (I make bracelets out of embroidery floss). My reasons for wearing them would be to stand out to other asexuals, and for myself to feel pride about who I really am. The sort of contradictory thing, though, is that I have not come out to anyone and don't plan to any time in the near future. Is it stupid of me to wear pride jewelery if I am going to remain closeted to most people? Is it defeating the purpose? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
H@wkeye Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 my ace ring is conveniently also a spinner with gender symbols on it! I actually know a lot of other aces irl and at least two that wear the black rings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Thanks, Linz R! I just ordered this one: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
H@wkeye Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 The sort of contradictory thing, though, is that I have not come out to anyone and don't plan to any time in the near future. Is it stupid of me to wear pride jewelery if I am going to remain closeted to most people? Is it defeating the purpose? I don't think so! Even if you're not "coming out" you can definitely choose to wear pride stuff. You can still be proud! Additionally, things like the black ring and ace colors aren't as widely known as, say, a rainbow wristband or a piercing in your right ear, so it's perfectly understandable to want to be seen by other aces that way and still be in the closet about it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EmotionalAndroid Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 The sort of contradictory thing, though, is that I have not come out to anyone and don't plan to any time in the near future. Is it stupid of me to wear pride jewelery if I am going to remain closeted to most people? Is it defeating the purpose? I don't think so! Even if you're not "coming out" you can definitely choose to wear pride stuff. You can still be proud! Additionally, things like the black ring and ace colors aren't as widely known as, say, a rainbow wristband or a piercing in your right ear, so it's perfectly understandable to want to be seen by other aces that way and still be in the closet about it. That's good to know. I stopped myself from making that pride bracelet today, because I wondered if my family would know what the colors meant. Now that I think about it, though, since not many people have heard of asexuality, I doubt many would recognize the colors as anything other than classy dark colors. :) Thanks for your insights! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ven Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I'd never heard about this black ring thing. I wore a ring for 30 years. It was a wedding ring but I wore it on the wrong hand. It was to commemorate my mother. She had two rings in her life: a small one that was buried with her, and a larger one that she wore because her hands got swollen when she was going through chemo. She had cancer twice, so she had the ring for many years. When she died, Dad gave it to me since I was the only person in the family who didn't get married. Two years ago I gave it to my oldest niece. I told her to give it to the first of her daughters to get married. That was the only jewelry I ever wore. The next time I'll wear jewelry is when I find something that has more meaning to me than that. I've never understood the reason to shout to the world what sexual orientation you are. Saying something here makes sense. We are of a kind and I can get tips of how to cope. But it really isn't anyone's business. Heteros don't shout it. Why should I? As for the black ring, when I saw that pic of the black ring with lettering my first thought was: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cheery Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 The sort of contradictory thing, though, is that I have not come out to anyone and don't plan to any time in the near future. Is it stupid of me to wear pride jewelery if I am going to remain closeted to most people? Is it defeating the purpose? I don't think so! Even if you're not "coming out" you can definitely choose to wear pride stuff. You can still be proud! Additionally, things like the black ring and ace colors aren't as widely known as, say, a rainbow wristband or a piercing in your right ear, so it's perfectly understandable to want to be seen by other aces that way and still be in the closet about it. That's good to know. I stopped myself from making that pride bracelet today, because I wondered if my family would know what the colors meant. Now that I think about it, though, since not many people have heard of asexuality, I doubt many would recognize the colors as anything other than classy dark colors. :) Thanks for your insights! I think I've decided to wear the ring and a bracelet mostly cause I'm slowly trying to pull together the courage to tell my family. Everyone's very obviously expecting me to come home with a boyfriend any time soon. And that makes me nervous. So my trail of thought is that if I show the symbols for ace pride in public, It'll help me find the courage to come out to my parents. And as you said, hardly anyone knows about asexuality. Also, I'm hoping that I might meet another Ace that way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Greyt Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Im strongly against the whole thing and I know it's quite common cos gay people have their own rings etc and I just see it as literally putting on a label. There are other ways of fighting for visibility -like you know actually living and being unapologetic about who you are. Wearing a ring isn't going to demand respect. It's just acknowledging the hyper sexual world that we live in and participating in the need to label everything. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Red Luck Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Im strongly against the whole thing and I know it's quite common cos gay people have their own rings etc and I just see it as literally putting on a label. There are other ways of fighting for visibility -like you know actually living and being unapologetic about who you are. Wearing a ring isn't going to demand respect. It's just acknowledging the hyper sexual world that we live in and participating in the need to label everything. I understand what you mean, and agree that it's more important to be who you are than to announce it. I wear the black ring whenever I can, however, because it's a sort of visual reminder of sanity for me, if that makes sense. Sometimes when everyone around me is talking about sexual things and I'm feeling out of place, it's a reminder that there are little pockets of sanity around (like AVEN!). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tja Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I'm not fighting for visibility. I wear the black ring... ...to be proud of myself. ....to remind me of the many friends on AVEN I've come to know and love. ...the feeling of camaraderie I share with my fellow asexuals. ...to relive the warm, wonderful feelings I've received since joining AVEN. ...for comfort when I can't be online. It doesn't have to be politicized. I don't care if someone else recognizes it. I do it for me! :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HermioneGranger Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I don't wear the ring for visibility or to fight for respect. It's just a tangible reminder, every time I feel isolated and alone, that there are other people like me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
linz.rasmussen Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I totally wear my ring for myself. It's a personal choice. Unlike some of the people I work with, I don't talk about anything regarding sex, sexuality, etc. I'm a person that doesn't feel the need to shout private things about myself from the rooftops. I've only told my mom, an experience I never want to relive. Talk about awkward. I'm not even sure she's said anything to my dad, but he wouldn't mention it if she had. My sisters and brother don't know and I don't feel any burning desire to tell them. No one has asked about the ring, why I only wear it on the one finger, or even why it's just plain black. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
linz.rasmussen Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Thanks, Linz R! I just ordered this one: That's awesome! I have thought about buying the plain black tungsten ring with an ace on it but haven't felt any need to rush out and do it. This one is fantastic though. You'll have to tell me how it holds up to being worn/banged up/etc. Below is a pic of the one I've been thinking about. It has all four Ace cards designed on it. Also, EBAY has a ton of choices, some I've never seen before! http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTAwWDUwMA==/z/r7YAAOSwEK9T-BRl/$_12.JPG Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GoTheDistance Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 does anyone know the origin of why the black ring on the middle finger?? I might have missed it in this post but I've been wondering recently Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ultima Posted October 8, 2014 Author Share Posted October 8, 2014 does anyone know the origin of why the black ring on the middle finger?? I might have missed it in this post but I've been wondering recently I actually have no clue how it got started and would also like to know the origin as well. I have speculated the possibility that it has something to do with lord of the rings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Minty Tea Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 So I actually ran into a girl wearing a black ring. I didn't want to assume she was ace so I asked her if it had any meaning. She got so nervous I could tell right away and felt a bit terrible, but she was pretty excited I was Ace too. Now I hav a new friend! I don't wear a black ring myself because I've never been able to find one that fit my style. The thick black bands just aren't my thing, but I'd like to find one some day! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Christinanc93 Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 I finally found one that fits! I bought it at Spencer's, perhaps the most sexually explicit store there is, so that's ironic... But it has anchors on it! I like having the ring and I have met several aces in real life (apparently the unicorn village is the Women's and Ethnic Studies and Graphic Design departments of universities. I mean, overwhelming minority, but I have met 5 of us this year.) but none of them wear rings. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GoTheDistance Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 does anyone know the origin of why the black ring on the middle finger?? I might have missed it in this post but I've been wondering recently I actually no clue how it got started and would also like to know the origin as well. I have speculated the possibility that it has something to do with lord of the rings. Yeah I might do some research...but I doubt much will come up, most of the information is just on AVEN .... Found it! http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/76607-black-rings-and-other-ways-to-show-asexual-pride/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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