Goatybeard Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I am a cisgendered male (not a very masculine one though) and I don't have any trans or non-binary friends. But I'm aesthetically attracted to the androgynous look. So I've always been curious about gender identities, but only as an intellectual curiosity. Now that I found this forum and have first hand accounts to read, I've started to question myself. I sometimes wish I was more androgynous looking because I find that attractive, and I want to be attractive, and occasionally find female clothes that I like, but think I'm too masculine looking to pull it off. I recently bought some feminine jewelry that I thought looked good on me. I would like to point out that I have no interest in cross dressing. I like being and looking like a man. I just like some of the more unisex female styles and think they look good on certain types of men. In addition to aesthetics, I now want to start acting less masculine or more feminine. I've recently come out to my friends and family as... well, whatever I thought I was at the time (usually bi or a) and now have gay friends. Am I just acting "gayer" now because I'm more comfortable with myself and have friends that I would fit in with like that? I still identify as male and I don't think that is going to change, but maybe there's a spot on the spectrum for how I'm feeling and just don't know the word. Maybe I want to look more androgynous because I feel more androgynous than the typical male. It took me until I was 20 to even question my sexuality, so I won't rule anything out yet. Anyone have any idea what I'm talking about or have any helpful links? P.S. I'm not used to talking about this kind of thing, so if I said something wrong or in any way offensive, it's just my ignorance. Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Take the big box of Crayola crayon colors: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Crayola_crayon_colors .....and tell me-- is 'thistle' a crossdresser, and if so, who is sie crossdressing 'as'? Why can't gender expression come in lots more hues than just the 8 pack basics? Link to post Share on other sites
Goatybeard Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 I'm sorry, I don't know who 'thistle' is and I didn't see anything on Google. I thought the crossdresser thing I said sounded bad as I typed it, but I honestly don't know another term for someone who identifies as a man and dresses like a woman. Maybe drag, but I usually hear that with either very specific associations or a negative connotation. If there is a better word for that please let me know. The whole thing about more hues than the basic 8 pack is pretty much what I'm asking. I only know the basic colors and I don't know where to look to find the other ones. I thought of gender as only a binary thing until I found this section of the forums. I usually just thought of myself as a less masculine man, but that's not entirely accurate now that I actually think about it. I'm fine just being myself and don't necessarily need a label to be me, but it would be nice to be able to talk to people about it using a standard terminology. Especially as I try and figure everything out. Maybe I should just try and get this thread deleted and just explore the other ones until I actually figure out how to say what I'm thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelly Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 That sounds cool, G-beard. Perhaps just acting and dressing any way that you see fit. Feel free to grow out hair, polish your nails, act any way you feel, and dress in whatever you want. And don't be afraid to push the envelope or cross boundaries. Where in the spectrum might you be? It is up to the individual to say and/or find out. But the spectrum is in several dimensions, and people are all over it. :) Link to post Share on other sites
MystiqueSister Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I dig androgyny and the aesthetics of people who ride the lines of gender. Not to mention Vince Noir would totally give you the thumbs up ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I'm sorry, I don't know who 'thistle' is and I didn't see anything on Google. I thought the crossdresser thing I said sounded bad as I typed it, but I honestly don't know another term for someone who identifies as a man and dresses like a woman. Maybe drag, but I usually hear that with either very specific associations or a negative connotation. If there is a better word for that please let me know. The whole thing about more hues than the basic 8 pack is pretty much what I'm asking. I only know the basic colors and I don't know where to look to find the other ones. I thought of gender as only a binary thing until I found this section of the forums. I usually just thought of myself as a less masculine man, but that's not entirely accurate now that I actually think about it. I'm fine just being myself and don't necessarily need a label to be me, but it would be nice to be able to talk to people about it using a standard terminology. Especially as I try and figure everything out. Maybe I should just try and get this thread deleted and just explore the other ones until I actually figure out how to say what I'm thinking. Not at all. Threads like this one are how we all explore. What I meant by my post is that it takes a lot of different colors in various combinations and expressions to make a rainbow under which we all can live and be content in who we are. Standard terminology is fine if you're standard, but who helps those of us figure out what is 'standard' for us? We do. We get to draw the coloring books, and we get to color outside the lines. And in the end, no one is really harmed and there should be no need negative connotations and the rest, because we are all just being what we feel we were meant to be. Does that help? Because I never seem to fit anywhere, either, and I found ways. And I think of it as The First Duty, to at least try to help someone to avoid all the pitfalls in which I fell as I tried to find my way through the dark. Keep in mind, there *was* no Internet, there *was* no transgendered, asexual, agendered or any such when I was younger, it was scary and there was NO help from an often hostile world. Hopefully, threads like this one will change all of that? Link to post Share on other sites
Goatybeard Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 When I started this thread I didn't really know how to express myself and just used what words I knew from the outside world. After I posted it I realized the outside world is usually pretty mean when it comes to things like this. I thought that changed the apparent tone of my first post and as a result misinterpreted ZenPlacebo's response to it as if I had offended. I appreciate all the encouragement and kind words. I feel like I can explore myself now and have a supporting group to turn to when I need it, but I still feel the original post reads different from what I intended. Not only in the words used but also the ideas I meant to say. How do I go about deleting this thread? I'll try again when I actually figure out what it is I'm trying to say and how to say it. Link to post Share on other sites
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