anyone else asexual and frustrated?

[James25]

First let me just say I'm not too sure i'm asexual, gay or just straight but stressed (im very sleep deprived. and had a very hard time through high school-an all boy school)

asesual because i always felt like i was pressured to have sex rather than me actually wanting to. and when I'm kissing a girl it feels like work (to only please her)

I'm most likely not gay as Ive never been hard around guys. Ive gotten hard around a few girls that have come on to me but I think that has more to do with flattery? and ive never gotten hard thinking about sex with a guy but i have with girls. but i cant look at a good looking guy without my heart beating faster, yet not aroused. I think Im just scared i might be gay.

straight because as I said above I get hard thinking about having sex with a female though I never really feel like going through with it. and I have a fetish that both guys and girls do but Im only turned on when a girl does it.

But Im very stressed. been sleep deprived since i was 9 or 10 after my father died. me and my sister would stay up and play all kinds of games(board games, video games, toys, sneak friends over etc). we would get like 4, 5 hours every night. Im mentioning this because I read somewhere being sleep deprived is a major contribute to stress i.e resulting in a lack of sexual interest.

Also I was bullied through high school, mostly because I was that kid that would always retaliate, rather than just play it cool. this forced me into a more aloof personality/ a bit of anti social; I just didnt/dont feel comfortable talking to most people after that and kept myself to myself.

So i think both those contribute to why im hardily aroused by females.

Anways the main point to this thread is my frustration and anyone that shares them. As I said before I do get aroused thinking about having sex with a females. but it angers me that i cant please them when given the chance. And i really dont want to boast. but i've been given strong signals by the majority of females (even males) i meet, mostly at the shoes store i work as i hardily go out(except for tehre and the gym). most people (mostly women) cant seem to look me in the eye without saying something gibberish or struggling to speak coherently or look out of breath (in my mind sometimes il be like wtf?). and they always touch me or try to make me touch them. it took me a while i figured this was sign of a woman in heat?? and if i dont make moves they think i'm gay

point is i wish i could please them(not the men). i would look at them and think about how great the sex might be. but with my past experience in mine, i may not get hard during the sex. knowing this i get frustrated.

anyone else shares the same frustration. and sorry for any mistakes im in a rush to get to work.

[Member54880]

That's awful you've been through all of that. :( Stress can impact sex drive, but it doesn't impact sexual attraction. Do you feel like you actually want sex, and stress is getting in the way of it, or do you not really want sex, but feel pressured to have, and want it, because of the social expectations?

[hippyman]

Wow, I can feel for you. I kind of feel like I grew up with some of the same experiences. I was in a bad accident when I was a kid, and therefore got bullied about the fallout. I was never interested in dating, so that just made things seem worse, although I knew I wasn't interested in guys. And it doesn't help coming from a conservative Southern family. Anyway, if you feel a need to talk, feel free to pm me. I'm still trying to get to know this stuff, myself, actually.

[MaxAmoeba]

Are you still sleep deprived? Reading between the lines, I think you are sexual but with a low level of sexual arousal. You do get aroused by girls, don't you? And had you not been stressed or bullied, you would have had sex a bit more openly, what say?

[James25]

That's awful you've been through all of that. :( Stress can impact sex drive, but it doesn't impact sexual attraction. Do you feel like you actually want sex, and stress is getting in the way of it, or do you not really want sex, but feel pressured to have, and want it, because of the social expectations?

I'm not too sure. but i feel it may be the later. hopefully not because i love my mother and want to make her happy..

Wow, I can feel for you. I kind of feel like I grew up with some of the same experiences. I was in a bad accident when I was a kid, and therefore got bullied about the fallout. I was never interested in dating, so that just made things seem worse, although I knew I wasn't interested in guys. And it doesn't help coming from a conservative Southern family. Anyway, if you feel a need to talk, feel free to pm me. I'm still trying to get to know this stuff, myself, actually.

sorry to hear youve suffered just the same. and hope theirs a good solution for both of us.

will pm u too.

Are you still sleep deprived? Reading between the lines, I think you are sexual but with a low level of sexual arousal. You do get aroused by girls, don't you? And had you not been stressed or bullied, you would have had sex a bit more openly, what say?

Yes i get aroused, slightly (sometimes) when i think about having sex with them and strangely enough, to go into detail, it only works if i imagine myself dominating them sensually/slowing visualizing their satisfaction; the look of satisfaction on their face is what really turns me on, i guess, not simply the dick entering the vagina imagery. ,. and also I vaguely remember getting turned on in the past when girls had come on to me.

and no Im still getting only 4-5 hours of sleeping despite going to bed very early. And melatonin doesnt seem to work. so ive decided im going to pay my doctor a visit around next week. hoping he can help sort me out.