helana12_03 Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I dance with random guys when I'm in the mood, but I never let them kiss me or get too close. I usually tell my friends that I'm simply not interested in this guy or something and they usually get it because a lot of people don't want to make out with a random stranger at a club. One time I went to a club with a group of friends that making out with each other. This made me feel left out because I wasn't going to do that. I never went to a club with these people again and most of my other friends don't do these kinds of things. Link to post Share on other sites
paperwishes Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I hate clubs and bars... They're loud and I never identify with any of the people there. I feel like everyone is different from me. I always feel uncomfortable. I also feel kind of cold, exposed, unsafe... Like if I don't have a way to go home easily I'm freaked out. (I don't drive so I'd have to bus) I also don't like being out late. I like dancing but it's better at house parties or by myself heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Potassium Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I love clubbing! I enjoy dancing and stuff, but I never get too close to people because I never know if they're being nice just to be nice or if they have ulterior motives or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Chebu Posted October 4, 2014 Share Posted October 4, 2014 I really dislike clubs and bars though. It's so hard to have a proper conversation because it's so loud lol. It also stresses me out if I don't know where I'm going afterwards, especially if it's late. Travelling at night doesn't really bother me but I hate not having a plan. I don't drink though, so therein lies my problem haha. Alcohol is yucchy :P Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 Sometimes I really enjoy clubbing if the music is good and I'm just with my friends. I'm lucky in that one of my friends will drag me away if she notices someone trying to 'grind' on me, especially if I'm quite drunk because I just don't notice they're there. As a rule I find people trying to dance with me in clubs to be pretty predatory and I don't like it, I have to be incredibly drunk to be ok with that. I've kissed people in clubs twice as far as I remember, possibly three times (I don't remember part of one evening so I think I might have kissed someone then), and once was when I was completely sober but someone was trying to hit on my friend so they pretended I was their girlfriend to get them to go away. Like I'll glance at boys I think are cute in clubs and smile at them but I tend to just dance with my pals. Once or twice my friends have tried to do more 'sexy' dancing with me and I've gone along with it because I don't want them to think it's because I don't like them, but I'm not especially keen on it. I prefer house parties, I like chatting to people a lot more than I like dancing. But that comes with its own perils. Link to post Share on other sites
WünderBâhr Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Moved to the Asexual Relationships forum. Byanyothername Asexual Q&A Mod Link to post Share on other sites
Ziggy_G Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I love going out clubbing, don't get to do it as much as I'd like though. How fun the night is depends on who your with though, luckily I think I've now found a pretty good bunch of people to go with. I don't hook up with randoms obviously, I don't even date when I'm sober. I have had a friend worry that because I was kinda drunk and I'm hanging out a lot with a guy who's into me then I might sleep with him. But drinking only takes down the bars holding you back from doing things, it doesn't entirely reinvent who you are from a base level. Which is what it would take. That was a once off though I usually try to stay just pleasantly tipsy not intoxicated. Last time I went clubbing (with my new going out clubbing ppl) I was hit on a few times, and repeatedly by this very creepy drunk guy. I just kinda ignored him and moved to dance closer with one of my male friends, (He's big, strong and an obvious kid of handsome, real movie cliche type) and the guy quickly backed off. I told my friend that was why I moved and I realised its a brilliant new strategy, I can use him as a creep deterrent. Link to post Share on other sites
Arethusa Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 How I feel about clubs... well, from a purely personal standpoint, just about how baby seals feel about them (#TerribleTerriblePuns). Seriously, though, above and before anything else, I find them exhausting and an unpleasant prospect for spending a night out. There are several reasons for this, the biggest being that I process sensory information differently than most people, and being in a noisy, chaotic, unpredictable environment with lots of flashing lights and blaring music gets pretty unbearable pretty quickly. (It should be noted that I have trouble following conversations if there's too much background noise, even in a room full of people talking all at once at a normal volume.) Besides, I'm a pretty major introvert on top of the sensory overload thing, I'm not interested much in the music (I prefer lighter, quieter, more acoustic stuff), alcohol makes me mentally and physically unwell if I consume more than a small amount, and the idea of sex, if anything, squicks me out a little, so... Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I never did "get" clubbing. It makes me feel like I'm the only person in the place who doesn't have ESP. Link to post Share on other sites
Winnie_A Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I like clubbing, theoretically. I like the idea of dancing in a group of friends and having some drinks. However, there are only a few occasions where this actually worked out how I pictured it in my head. Mostly the music is too loud (I can't stand loud sounds and I like to be able to talk to people) or it is so crowded that you can't move without rubbing against some random stranger. Fortunately I haven't gone out with people who wanted to hook up, or that would be another annoying and awkward thing. Link to post Share on other sites
PatheticGirl Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I think I can give in to sex if someone really loves and cares about me but I'll never be one to initiate it. Definitely, I can't even get closer to random strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
yellow Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 I don't like clubbing and would rather do just about anything else. I did go clubbing when I was in college and had fun usually. However I didn't like being checked out physically and felt like a jerk rejecting the random guys who would hit on me. Now that I'm older I suspect my dislike of clubbing is a combination of being asexual and being an introvert. I cannot stand excessively loud or crowded places and feel claustrophobic and anxious in clubs and bars. I also just don't see the point in going somewhere where I can't actually talk to people. Link to post Share on other sites
WuNsChKiNd89 Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 I can be pretty outgoing, so I love clubs. I love drinking, I love loud music, I love dancing, I love the crowds full of people. I often go out with one of my girlfriends and we both dance with different men until we find ones we like. Neither one of us ever has the intention of hooking up for a one-night stand (I have zero interest in sex with a stranger, I'm more likely to have friends with benefits), but I love the dancing, though the making out I could take or leave. Sometimes it can be really awful haha! Depends on the guy. I get the impression most sexuals (or at least most guys) get all worked up and aroused in the club, which I don't experience at all, so for me there's never been any question about sex after leaving the club. I think part of the reason I love the clubs so much is I enjoy the physical contact.. For some reason when I'm completely sober I seem to have barriers up and put out signals that I'm not tactile, don't want the physical affection. I don't know what I do for all my friends to assume this, or how to stop it, but it's different when I'm drinking - even just buzzed. Link to post Share on other sites
The Wreyck Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I love dancing and clubbing. It's great, euphoric, sensual, electrifying. I'm a repulsed asexual, yet I really do love getting up close and personal with both males and females on the dance floor. I'm told I'm even quite the sexual dancer. All that skin and contact... Man, I love it as odd as that is. They're strangers, and that's okay. They're possibly attracted to me, and that's awesome (and sorta hilarious). And it's all just fun and dancing and insane connection. We're all just letting loose and experiencing life, feeling the music and the vibe and each other. 'Course, I'm too chicken shit to dance without it being pretty dark, or like with pulsing lights and such. If they can get a clear and easy image of me I become embarrassed, so I tend to choose the poorly lit or crazy clubs. Most of the focus is on the touch and the music then. It also keeps me from going to far if I can't see the people I'm dancing with as clearly. Because I am highly sensual, and I'm liable to start doing more with a human (most likely a female) than I should, because then it could get sticky and messy considering their sexual interests and my lack of sexual interest. But, in general I definitely love clubbing and grinding and dancing and touching out there under the lights and music. Link to post Share on other sites
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