S6ixtyF4our Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Michelle is asexual/aromantic, she likes me only as a friend. Although, we'll playful fighting with each other. The playful fighting is what got us closer to each other. We never hesitated about our flirting if I should call it that. Its so natural to us that we never stopped or question it its like we don't want to break that bond between us. Michelle was the one who continues it, she may not be aware of her actions so she goes forth with it without acknowledging on what we are doing. We like to banter with each other over the most silliest things. We would call each other cute names or possibly worse names and it always ends with her laughing after she gets a annoyed reaction from me. Most of the time we will play fight with each other but I end up backing out the most of the time because I am to shy to go any further. I also noticed that she'll find excuses to touch me. On the shoulder, arm, hand; putting her arm around me, comparing hands, and slapping each other. Or even grabbing my hand will tight until I cry out for mercy and she'll smile in a pleasing kind of way. Michelle will always try to grab my attention if I am in a conversation with somebody else. She would laugh out loud or giggle while covering her face and looking at me when I make a stupid joke or say something funny. She loves to be in control with me when it comes to playing around or deciding something together. Like if she has a plan she will stick to it and wants me to follow, if I think other wise she'll let me go and do it on my own but she'll be unhappy with me by giving me a "I don't care" attitude that is easily read that she is too stubborn to face the fact that she does care. However, she likes to be alone, keep things to herself and can be very stubborn with me. Sometimes doesn't give me the light of day when she wants to be. Link to post Share on other sites
poindexter Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 How are we, strangers on the internet, supposed to know? Why don't you ask her? Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 In most heterosexual women, I think it would be a sign of a crush, but in Michelle, I don't know if it's a squish or some kind of neurotic 'love-hate', shrug I used to fight a lot playfully with my brother in the early childhood, that might have been a sign of fraternal affection. But surprisingly or not, we're not close at all any longer since my puberty. Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 Like if she has a plan she will stick to it and wants me to follow, if I think other wise she'll let me go and do it on my own but she'll be unhappy with me by giving me a "I don't care" attitude that is easily read that she is too stubborn to face the fact that she does care. However, she likes to be alone, keep things to herself and can be very stubborn with me. Sometimes doesn't give me the light of day when she wants to be. All of those clues are not confirmative evidence that she likes you, and they're just indicative evidence. Wishing something to be true is not gonna make it true. That's really all I gotta say. Link to post Share on other sites
S6ixtyF4our Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 True. I am asking this questions so I can settle my mind. I can't stop thinking about it so I vent on here to figure shit out Link to post Share on other sites
Dethsdream Posted August 27, 2014 Share Posted August 27, 2014 First off, aromantic asexuals are still capable of affection and platonic feelings for other people, so I think this is why it may seem (to you) that she is flirting with you. I suspect she sees you as a very important friend to her, which is why she is very comfortable around you and play-fights with you. I have an extremely close (girl) friend which I think of as my unofficial queer platonic partner, so I think I relate to your situation, although my friend is not romantically in love with me- which seems to be the case with you. We don't exactly fit into the "just friends" category because I would say that we are much more emotionally intimate than the average friendship, but we don't fit in the romantic partner category either because she has a boyfriend and I'm perfectly fine with it (although I admit I was jealous at first because he takes up a lot of her time, but I got over it pretty quickly). From what I can infer, it sounds like you are unhappy with the current state of closeness in your relationship with Michelle. As for squishes, the way that I see them is a strong feeling of admiration and interest in becoming someone's friend (or simply to spend time with them and get to know them). I know squishes are sometimes referred to as aromantic "crushes", but the consensus in the aromantic community is that squishes are people we want to befriend, although everyone expresses their affection for people they like and care about differently. I usually like/want to be sensual (affectionate touching, hugging, massaging, cuddling) with people I have squishes on, but in the case of my (pretty much) queer platonic partner, I did not have a squish on her at first. We simply spent more and more time together and became about as close as two people can be without crossing into romantic or sexual territory. Are you unhappy that she is incapable of feeling the same romantic feelings that you feel for her? If so, maybe you should try to distance yourself from her in order to avoid future heartbreak. Agonizing all the time over whether or not she has romantic feelings for you isn't healthy for you, and it isn't healthy for your relationship with her either. I hate to be harsh, but if she truly is aromantic, then she will never reciprocate your feelings in the way that you desire. You deserve happiness even if it isn't in the form of a romantic and/or sexual relationship with Michelle. I hope I helped at least a little. Link to post Share on other sites
S6ixtyF4our Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 Are you unhappy that she is incapable of feeling the same romantic feelings that you feel for her? If so, maybe you should try to distance yourself from her in order to avoid future heartbreak. Agonizing all the time over whether or not she has romantic feelings for you isn't healthy for you, and it isn't healthy for your relationship with her either. I hate to be harsh, but if she truly is aromantic, then she will never reciprocate your feelings in the way that you desire. You deserve happiness even if it isn't in the form of a romantic and/or sexual relationship with Michelle. I hope I helped at least a little. Yes, I am unhappy that she doesn't feel the same way and unhappy that she flirty toward me. I know I shouldn't agonize about her but I do it because its just who I am. Whenever I am dealing with something that I don't know the answer to or can not settle on one answer I start to become confused and can't focus on anything. The only way for me to have a clear mind is to vent, ask questions and study about the situation. To keep my mind at ease. I know what I need to do and I've done it before, its just sometimes you fall and you just need to find away to get back up again to continue moving forward. This is always been part of my life and I need to fix myself and find who I am. She isn't the answer to my problems I am the one causing it although she isn't the innocent one either. I just need to keep my head up high and move on Link to post Share on other sites
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