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float on

For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground

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The Wreyck

Age 20... Was actually making it on my own pretty decently.. Before a major fallout with my roommate right at the end of our lease caused me to need to leave and thus with nowhere to go end up back in with my mother.... <_< Trying to make do with all that and get back on my feet and out on my own again, headed in the direction I desire to make my life my own again.

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Lexan

Hello, everyone:

I'm Alexander, I'm new to "this." I've been in this earth; it will be my 25th yr. on the 22nd. Of this month

Still a virgin.😞 not sad about being one, more like I'm disappointed in society. That they all demand tolerance and acceptance, yet they give me grief... Especially my family! but that's life. And sorry about ranting. Will I am hoping to find a friend, heaven knows I've tried.

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Exanimis

Hey there, welcome Lexan.

You surely will find a lot of awesome people around here.

Feel free to look around, share your thoughts and all.

You said something really thruthfull.

They demand tolerance amd acceptance but they oppress anyone who oppose the normativism. I relate to that ;)

Have a :cake: and a great time around. :)

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Lexan

Do you know Latin? Id Est maestum(this is sad...I think) I am in the process of understanding the language. And can you speak it fluently.

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Exanimis

Nah I don't speak fluently. I wish :D

It is still some remaining knowledge from the times I studied a bunch of crazy stuff.

I've abandoned all that seven+ years ago.

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Lexan

Lol..I'm at that state in my life, and if you don't mind me asking. Why did you stop?

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Exanimis

I don't know, felt pointless. Was wasting time and effort. Came to a few conclusions.

Nothing that a little a study can't clear from your mind.

I found out why all of that didn't make sense to me at the time. Even tho' I still tried to conform with it, over time it felt fake and forced. I thought that with time I could make sense of it, but it made less sense by the day. So I just gave up on everything else that I was trying to keep myself with.

By the way, Id Est Maestum means "this is sad" you got it right ;)

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Valja

I am 21 going on 22.

I've been mentally, physically and verbally abused since I was four. When I was a teenager I always felt like I had no power in my life and being sheltered I did not know my small country well.

I wanted so many things when I was a teenager but fear of my parents and thinking every aspect of my life would be dictated by them that I did nothing about it.

My last relationship ended because my gf had all acheived all my dreams and I could not be happy for her at all. Now I am stuck in a web of anxiety, envy and unhappiness.

I study Psychology now and I am in Year 2 but it is not where I want to be. I wish I could do the degree I want to do but that has it's own set of complications. Only last month I realized that I do have some control over my life to make the choices to be happy but after my parents making all of my decisions and needing their approval for years I am not good at decision making at all. I also feel drained because no one is supporting or encouraging me in real life ._.

I cant see myself working as a psychologist and I want to acheive things by the time I am 27 but the way how things are going it most likely will never happen.

Hey, I can relate to your story.I'm 22, I also did what my parents wanted me to, they were happy- me working in a horrible place, giving them almost all the money because my life was miserable and I had no joy and they wouldn't listen and couldn't see. In one point I had to tell them I won't give them any money because I want to save to go to college and study what I want. At first they said I am stupid and I won't go anywhere, but after they saw I couldn't even walk normally anymore or move because of the pain from the work I was doing they finally understood, they had to because I would have still left. Now I get to study what I want and they said I was a stupid child for it in the past. It's better to go and do what you want because later you'll regret, the past still haunts me now when I have reasons to be happy. Talk to your parents, I thought was impossible for mine to understand but they did in the end and I am grateful. I don't want someone else to go through what I did, do what makes you happy

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Amy Ghost

Okay, I will write a little as well.

Biologically I'm 23 years and almost 6 months old. But mentally I'm somewhere totally else. I feel younger. Quite a bit actually. More like a child. So, you can imagine I'm not exactly easy to deal with sometimes. But usually just to myself, or my datefriend only. I'm very introverted and open to others in such ways very rarely.

Currently I'm living in Czech Republic, which is in Central Europe, where I have been born. But I'd like to go the US, where Hayden, my datefriend, lives. Yes, I'm in a long distance relationship, and am slowly working on moving there. Hopefully some time soon.

Anyway, ummm, I really suck at talking about myself. So, should someone be interested to know more, you can ask :)

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Exanimis

That poem, did you write it?

Wha? Who? Me?

Yea in case it was directed to me XD

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Neurula

So is this like HBO Girls the thread? :wacko: When did "20-somethings" get like this...

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MistyKari

Hello everyone I just realized I was asexual and I am 26. I am still not in a relationship, a virgin, and I am happy to not be in a relationship at this point in time. I am actually uninterested in one right now although, if I can connect mentally with someone I wouldn't mind it.

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Striped Sweater

Have I not posted anything in here yet? Sorry if I have and I'm repeating myself.

22 and recent college grad. I worked my ass off in the hopes of getting a good job, but no dice. I'm back at home working part-time to make a little moolah on the side. The good news is I have looked into another option relevant to my major and it's starting to pay off, getting a mentorship that's gone great so far. I have also gone back to school for a professional certificate, and I'm halfway there!

Relating to asexuality: I was barely 19 when I discovered I was asexual, but I still thought I was heteroromantic. However, over the years, I have steadily felt more aromantic, and it's really liberating. My roommate was almost never around, so I learned to live by myself, and it was great. I could clean the apartment any time I damn well pleased! Joking aside, I realized this was something I could definitely get used to, and having to plan for my future only really simplifies things (and Lord knows I could use some simplification...and a chance to be a little selfish). I'm just wondering what that means for my future. I have only dropped "the 'a' word" to a few people, but my parents at least know I don't give a damn about romantic relationships and having kids. I'd like to come out to them someday, but I still feel like at my age, they'll still consider it "a phase." Ah well, I'm hoping to spend more time on here and make it to some meetups in the near future. Maybe I can get some good advice.

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Blitzentan

Don't worry about repeating yourself...I do it all the time. Sometimes people are polite and let me rabbit on often they stop me cause I've laready told them :D

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Amy Ghost

Sometimes it's better to repeat yourself, rather than forget something important :D

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Exanimis

Gosh Teagan.. *big big big big big hugs*

Yea, it's complicated... They all, well, we all live a different life right now.

Aaaacchhh.. Holy shit.. Aches my chest when I think about it. :(

Things get better eventually. ;)

*hug Primrose and Teagan*

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Jhale

I feel like my life is on-track more than the people twice my age. I put the world before myself, so I am taking the good path rather than one that is just focused on make "a" future.

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Pizza Witch

I'm 25 and I may not be doing "well" as an adult but I'm keeping my head above water and I just... feel so much more adult than I want to right now. Not that it's a bad thing but I use to have Wednesdays off because every Tuesday night my friends and I went to "our" bar. I use to have fun. Lots of fun. I use to be even less financially stable than now but finding ways to be out almost every night of the week having so many adventures. My most recent accomplishment? I got in and out of my insurance open enrollment meeting with our HR in 3 minutes. They were blown away I was on top of my game and I was too. The first time I dealt with insurance I sat in front of all the paperwork so confused and asking constant questions and needing new papers cause I kept messing up. If I went out on a Tuesday night like we use to there is no telling how out of place I would feel.

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Lyariage

How did I miss this thread for so long? Teagan, props for making it :) and *hugs* for everything you're going through right now. Also *hugs* to everyone else who needs them. Being 20-something seems like it's not all that it's cracked up to be sometimes.

Hi *waves* I'm Ly, I'm 27, and I feel like I've just started my life all over again. Since I was 17, I felt like my life was going in one direction. Now, it feels like it has gone in a completely different direction. I don't really want to get into the specifics right now. Ask me in another five years' time and I should have a better answer about how that's all worked out :P

Ya know what I think it is? When our parents were our age, there was a greater pattern of grow up, find a partner, have kids, blah blah. I think our generation is really pushing out of that mould and for those of us who find we are, we're like pioneers exploring strange new lands. We don't feel like we fit the "rules" and are making up our own, and it's scary! Asexuality and the concept of non-binary gender for instance are still incredibly new concepts. If it weren't for the internet, we wouldn't have as strong a community as we do. I mean, our community is spread across the globe! You can't get a wider community than that.

I'll be the first to say that I still struggle with concepts of self-acceptance and the heavy oppressiveness of depression and have thought about throwing in the towel quite a lot because life just seems too hard. But it's the little things, like coming to AVEN and feeling connected to everyone here that helps remind me of who I am and where I know I want to be within the world and within myself.

I was gonna start out this post by agreeing with a lot of what's been said with my own stories, but I've realised something. As hard as it gets, we're all doing okay. We're all doing okay. You know? We're here together, sharing things, helping each other out, and that's how we get through it. 40 or 50 years from now, we might be known as the first generations of people who used the internet for good, uniting people and forging the way for a greater acceptance of diversity. There's a lot of crap in the world today, for sure. But the simplest things like these threads also show there's a lot of good in the world too.

I hope I make sense :) I'm a dreamer, I know :P But I've recently found a way out of a pretty deep, dark hole and feel that little spark of hope again, and just wanted to share it with anyone who can relate :)

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VibrantGlue

I really dig your positive outlook! I am glad to live in a society where people can be more open about sex (or lackof, hehe). Because I always had crushes on girls, I identified myself as gay. But I felt like I don't have this connection, like having a sexual relationship, to women like my friends had. I had sex with a guy before and briefly with a girl but I was uncomfortable, though kissing was nice. But the sex was so boring and I don't miss it at all. I felt like I was sitting on my dryer just waiting for my clothes to dry. I would have rather just cuddled though I didn't have a connection with either encounter. I am scared to label myself as asexual because I fully don't understand if I do experience sexual attraction. It never occurred to me. But then the whole coming out thing... I am even terrible at coming out as gay. Is it even necessary to proclaim to people that you don't desire sex?

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pyroshadow

Oh wow, there appears to be a few of us around, it's good to see we are all in the same boat and making our ways along at our own pace.
I'm 25, and supposedly should of sorted my life out by now -.-
I have an amazing job but I'm still incredibly broke, and my friends circle is pretty broken (with some people they I really should stop being friends with).
But I'm getting there, and I normally can at least afford my bills and such, though my stomach may suffer for it occasionally -.-

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Autumn Sunrise

"When our parents were our age, there was a greater pattern of grow up, find a partner, have kids, blah blah."

Ly, I can tell you that wasn't always all it was cracked up to be. But I can understand your disorientation. I'm not sure whether it's worse to be expected to fit the same mould as everyone else, or not to have a mould to act as any sort of guide. I guess every age has its own problems - just different ones.

​Anyway, AVEN does provide a framework of support, and some assurance that it's OK to be different.

I'm glad to know that you've found your way out of that deep, dark hole, and I'm sure the spark of hope will continue to get brighter :wub:

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Wayfarer

Ya know what I think it is? When our parents were our age, there was a greater pattern of grow up, find a partner, have kids, blah blah. I think our generation is really pushing out of that mould and for those of us who find we are, we're like pioneers exploring strange new lands. We don't feel like we fit the "rules" and are making up our own, and it's scary! Asexuality and the concept of non-binary gender for instance are still incredibly new concepts. If it weren't for the internet, we wouldn't have as strong a community as we do. I mean, our community is spread across the globe! You can't get a wider community than that.

[...]

I was gonna start out this post by agreeing with a lot of what's been said with my own stories, but I've realised something. As hard as it gets, we're all doing okay. We're all doing okay. You know? We're here together, sharing things, helping each other out, and that's how we get through it. 40 or 50 years from now, we might be known as the first generations of people who used the internet for good, uniting people and forging the way for a greater acceptance of diversity. There's a lot of crap in the world today, for sure. But the simplest things like these threads also show there's a lot of good in the world too.

I hope I make sense :) I'm a dreamer, I know :P But I've recently found a way out of a pretty deep, dark hole and feel that little spark of hope again, and just wanted to share it with anyone who can relate :)

I agree with you completely, our age may have less of a mould to fit in, but here on AVEN we've found a place to define ourselves and discover who we are.

As to the second part of what I quoted: that you keep seeing the small spots of light in the dark (sometimes they are bigger spots), is what will keep you sane and sort of okay. At least, that's what it does for me. I know that if I stop seeing the light, life will only keep getting darker, but that if I keep feeling happiness in small things (this thread, the sun shining, people to support me), I'll be fine.

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Lyariage

I really dig your positive outlook! I am glad to live in a society where people can be more open about sex (or lackof, hehe). Because I always had crushes on girls, I identified myself as gay. But I felt like I don't have this connection, like having a sexual relationship, to women like my friends had. I had sex with a guy before and briefly with a girl but I was uncomfortable, though kissing was nice. But the sex was so boring and I don't miss it at all. I felt like I was sitting on my dryer just waiting for my clothes to dry. I would have rather just cuddled though I didn't have a connection with either encounter. I am scared to label myself as asexual because I fully don't understand if I do experience sexual attraction. It never occurred to me. But then the whole coming out thing... I am even terrible at coming out as gay. Is it even necessary to proclaim to people that you don't desire sex?

Vibrant, welcome to AVEN ^_^ :cake: (noticed that was your first post). Thank you for your kind words :) As to your personal experiences and question - what you choose to label yourself is completely your call. I say this a lot round here, but I firmly believe it so I'll say it again - if labels are helpful, by all means use them. But if a label makes you feel uncomfortable or limited, then it's not helpful. I go with what's helpful and not helpful. You'll find a lot of support round here about how you're feeling - if you like, I recommend checking out other parts of AVEN (if you haven't already). It's awesome to find other peoples' stories that click with yours. Also, it's definitely not necessary to proclaim to people that you don't desire sex. A lot of people find this a personal thing, and one that they don't feel the need to share. Some people like to share their orientation though, as a way of telling other people where their boundaries are and for a bunch of other reasons, and that's okay too. It's completely a personal choice.

"When our parents were our age, there was a greater pattern of grow up, find a partner, have kids, blah blah."

Ly, I can tell you that wasn't always all it was cracked up to be. But I can understand your disorientation. I'm not sure whether it's worse to be expected to fit the same mould as everyone else, or not to have a mould to act as any sort of guide. I guess every age has its own problems - just different ones.

​Anyway, AVEN does provide a framework of support, and some assurance that it's OK to be different.

I'm glad to know that you've found your way out of that deep, dark hole, and I'm sure the spark of hope will continue to get brighter :wub:

Autumn, I completely understand what you mean. I generalised in my post, I realise this. There have been plenty of people throughout history that haven't fit a mould. I know I'm (and others round here) aren't the first people to feel what we're feeling. I would love to have the wisdom of an 80 year old right from the start, but I know it doesn't work like that :P

And thank you :wub:

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Autumn Sunrise

How about the wisdom of an 80-year-old in the body of a 20-year-old? think of all the incredible things we could do with all that youthful strength and energy, and wisdom to give direction :D

Dream on, Sunrise!

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BlueWatermelon

I'm 26 years old. I completed my bachelors of history and an associates in biology (aka I just really enjoyed it). I'm not sure it has done anything for my career, but it was certainly worth it, even with the student loan payments.

After travelling to Europe and China and graduating (late) I took an inbound call centre job because it started at $21.00 with full benefits, bonuses, and yearly raises. I'm a case manager for a pilot team now (thank God no more hours of calls), and there are lots more areas for growth.. union delegate, business analyst, technical teams etc.

Honestly, I'm kind of pleased with how things are going. And Now I've found this forum. Now if only I could get more sleep...

This thread has made me feel really old. :P

I am 28 and married my asexy SO in August. :wub:

We have 2 doggies and a joined mortgage.

I have a permanent full-time job and I'm about to get my 2nd diploma in a few months.

And none of this would have happened if I hadn't changed everything about 5 years ago... :ph34r:

You've piqued my interest as to what this big change was.

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