• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
float on

For 20-somethings getting their feet off the ground

Recommended Posts

Lynxe

My life's ambition is to have a job I mostly enjoy and make enough money to live comfortably and be able to enjoy myself as I like.

This is mine as well.

And mine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Syphon

Unfortunately, it seems like its going to be harder to achieve than I originally thought :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lynxe

Unfortunately, it seems like its going to be harder to achieve than I originally thought :(

I don't think I can do it alone. But, I'm lucky; I have a good career now, as does my partner. Together, we might -just- get there...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zosia

:cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ultima

Leftovers are always a good thing! :D And they taste really good when you are starving. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
butterflydreams

I got my dream job when I was 22. Now I'm 27 and facing layoffs. I have no idea what I'll do if I get axed.

And to think of all the things I sacrificed for this job... normal hours, a social life, my sanity...

Ugh.

I hear that. Although in my case, not quite dream job, more like dream location. Definitely hang in there.

26 here. Code monkey by day, uncertified genius by night. If I knew I had things like my depression totally locked down, I'd hope for being fired so I could shop my ideas around, and maybe get a chance to do something really worthwhile with my life.

Take it from me, kids: Programming will ruin your brain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Palovana

I'll be 24 in about four weeks time. Not happy about it. Haven't done anything with my life really (though that mostly has to do with being exiled in one of the most rural, uneducated, un-diverse, socially backwards piece of shit part of the country since I was 15). I'm not going to talk about it anymore than that, because thinking about it too much honestly makes me a bit suicidal.

Like some other people here, I'm seriously looking at becoming an expatriate as soon as possible...parts of the United States (such as where I live now) are almost like a third world country in some ways. The education is so poor that it may as well not even exist, no public transportation, no medical providers aside from the hospital, infrastructure falling apart, everything down to the local government dominated by an overwhelmingly ignorant, hateful, ultra-religious majority.

Sadly, though, as someone else mentioned, there are very few job opportunities (in this country, at least) for people who aren't interested in math or science. I studied psychology for two years in college instead of the things I'm very passionate about (literature, art, history, linguistics, and so on). I became very ill, moved back with my father for a year, now I have my own place, am taking a few classes at a community college so I can transfer to a university elsewhere, work 30 hours a week in customer service for minimum wage...to be honest, I'm actually very grateful and lucky to have this job. It's tolerable on most days and I'm making more money than I've ever made at any of my previous jobs, because my previous jobs would never offer me more than 20 hours a week. I'm still not financially independent, as my father still helps me pay my rent and bills, but I've recently gotten my own medical insurance and am paying for that myself and I feel like I'm very slowly becoming more independent. Maybe it's just an illusion, and everything is as shitty as it was before, but then I think of what it would be like if I didn't have this job, and what it was like to be unemployed for almost a year...

To the people who are considering changing their majors or job prospects to something they don't really care about instead of following what makes you happy, I have this to say: you have one life to live. You will not get another chance. I've listened to some people (artists) that I trust very much, and they always say that, first and foremost, you must do what makes you happy. I once worked with a retired woman at an animal rescue who got her bachelor's degree in studio art, went to graduate school for psychology, became an art therapist, moved to Canada and was perfectly happy. She said there's a certain amount of creativity and innovation one must have in today's economy, especially if you want to do what you really enjoy. Most professional artists I have met do work a day job, at least part time.

If you really want to be a writer, or a musician, or an artist, or any of these things, I say do it. Fuck all the people who tell you that it's stupid or a waste of time or you can't do it or you'll be living in your parents' basement the rest of your life. They're just hating for the sake of hating, trying to bust your balls, or jealous because they either don't have the skill or the courage to do it themselves. I was told all of these things since primary school and I wish I had never listened. I'm not listening anymore. You have to do what makes you happy. It's almost guaranteed that you'll have to deal with low-income at least part of the time, but remember that the alternative is waking up five days a week, going to do a job that you don't really give a fuck about and that makes you absolutely miserable, for the rest of your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Zosia

:cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Palovana

To the people who are considering changing their majors or job prospects to something they don't really care about instead of following what makes you happy, I have this to say: you have one life to live. You will not get another chance. I've listened to some people (artists) that I trust very much, and they always say that, first and foremost, you must do what makes you happy. I once worked with a retired woman at an animal rescue who got her bachelor's degree in studio art, went to graduate school for psychology, became an art therapist, moved to Canada and was perfectly happy. She said there's a certain amount of creativity and innovation one must have in today's economy, especially if you want to do what you really enjoy. Most professional artists I have met do work a day job, at least part time.

If you really want to be a writer, or a musician, or an artist, or any of these things, I say do it. Fuck all the people who tell you that it's stupid or a waste of time or you can't do it or you'll be living in your parents' basement the rest of your life. They're just hating for the sake of hating, trying to bust your balls, or jealous because they either don't have the skill or the courage to do it themselves. I was told all of these things since primary school and I wish I had never listened. I'm not listening anymore. You have to do what makes you happy. It's almost guaranteed that you'll have to deal with low-income at least part of the time, but remember that the alternative is waking up five days a week, going to do a job that you don't really give a fuck about and that makes you absolutely miserable, for the rest of your life.

*hugs* You made my day so much better for saying this! Thank you! :wub:

Today I was scheduled to go and see the Art History adviser. I've been really uncertain about my Painting major since I've started college. I really do love it, and there's nothing else that I would rather do, it's just that sometimes I doubt my decision...What if I'm just being too idealistic, what if I'm being ridiculously childish, what if I'm just kidding myself, what if I'm being crazy, what if I'm never any good, what if I can't support myself, what if I never make any money, what if I can't get a job, what if I fail? Too much negativity and what-if's just got to my head and I went to talk to the Art History adviser about changing my major (he's also the chair of the department and teaches the history class that I'm in now). I told him how worried I was since I'm a junior now and I don't have any kind of solid plan in place for when I graduate. How it just seems kind of like other students in other programs have at least something nailed down, be it an internship or attending career fairs, etc. How I thought maybe Art History might be more marketable and might qualify me to do more out in the workforce.

I kind of got overly worked-up about it, mainly just because I was really tired/stressed since the semester started up not even three weeks ago and I haven't quite adjusted from summer to having tons of work again. I have two jobs (one at an art museum and another on-campus) and I've been volunteering with the Theatre department's set design, too (a requirement for a class). I started tearing up and sniffling as I told him of my concerns (totally humiliating, who does that? He probably thought I was a really high-strung, whack-a-doodle college student :unsure: ). I apologized about a dozen times for it, but he told me the same thing that you did above. That if I care that much I shouldn't even consider changing my major to something that I have little to no interest in.

He started asking me, "Who's telling you these things--that Studio Art is a waste of time?? Your family? Who?" And having been really embarrassed about crying in front of him, and having not ever really spoken to him before, and being really shy, I sort of got a deer-in-the-headlights look and fumbled over my words (another stupid thing I did today). Aside from it mainly being me whose been telling myself these things, I ended up blurting out my extreme fear of failure was because of...some family things that have been going on for a couple of years now. (But, I don't know, this is probably getting in to waaay too much personal life-history junk...)

Anyway, I skipped my class that I had right after that and went to sit outside for an hour and a half in 45 degree (F) weather until my next class started. I've just been feeling kinda crappy since then because of how I reacted--I'm really embarrassed about it and I still have to see this professor every other day now since he teaches my Art History class :blush: .

So, yeah, that's probably way more than I should have shared, and I don't mean to dump all this on you. But I wanted to let you know that your comment made me feel better, even though it wasn't directed right at me. So, thanks :unsure: .

The truth is that even students who major in math or science have almost as much trouble finding a job nowadays as art or humanities students. Jobs are very, very hard to come by. For example: my brother graduated with a 3.85 GPA, double-majored in math and meteorology with a Spanish minor, and he still couldn't find a job until almost two years after he graduated. He finally got a position doing computer work at a weather station that pays very little compared to how much he paid for school and for how much work he did to get his degree. I have friends who graduated last year or two years ago and many of them still don't have jobs related to what their degree is in. Almost all of them either had to move back in with their parents or they work as receptionists or they went back to the job they were working before/during college. I have one friend who majored in accounting and she got a job working as an accountant about three months after she graduated. The only other people I know who aren't unemployed or working an unskilled job are in graduate school. So really...how much are you expanding your job prospects with a degree in business or chemistry instead of studio art or English? Some, but not nearly as much as most people would like to believe.

The United States is, right now, in an era of academic and social atrophy. Hardly anyone goes to college anymore to actually learn something; most go in order to party away four years of their lives and come out with a piece of paper that they hope will enable them to get a job. And then we all wonder why we're going backwards. There is little demand in this country for jobs that aren't customer service-related or jobs that shouldn't really require a university-level degree. Technology and manufacturing jobs are being outsourced now more than ever as more people in China, Southeast Asia, and South America are becoming qualified for these jobs but are not paid as much by American companies as they would have to pay us here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ZombiesAsAMetaphor

So, one of my housemates has gone on exchange to Turkey for 9-10 months, which is awesome and he's worked so hard at it and I'm super happy for him. Thing is, he did all the cooking, so my other housemate and I are having to learn that. So far, we've been okay, though he's much better at it than me. I cooked a stir fry the other night, and the only word to describe it is disaster. Practically inedible. He's out with friends tonight, so I've just cooked up some veggie burgers in the pan, which has turned out much better.

Here's to learning life-skills.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sebastian Grace

Some things I have learned while living by myself at university in a different country:

- Earning money and then having it go on rent almost as soon as you see it go into your account is one of the most depressing things.

- There is no milk in the fridge because you didn't put it there.

- 24 hours is what you make of it.

- The best way to network if you're not good at sweet-talking people is to let your skills speak for themselves.

- Learn to sew and buy your clothes secondhand. It'll save you a ton of money.

- Learn which places do student discounts and have loyalty rewards programs. Make good use of them.

- You won't die if you eat fried chicken for seven days straight.

I'm sure there are other people who can confirm these...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lynxe

Some things I have learned while living by myself at university in a different country:

- Earning money and then having it go on rent almost as soon as you see it go into your account is one of the most depressing things.

- There is no milk in the fridge because you didn't put it there.

- 24 hours is what you make of it.

- The best way to network if you're not good at sweet-talking people is to let your skills speak for themselves.

- Learn to sew and buy your clothes secondhand. It'll save you a ton of money.

- Learn which places do student discounts and have loyalty rewards programs. Make good use of them.

- You won't die if you eat fried chicken for seven days straight.

I'm sure there are other people who can confirm these...

I can confirm ALL of these. :P

Also, leading on from point 2...

- You can't find any clean crockery because you didn't wash up. Do it straight aftr eating. It's easier, and you'll feel better :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FictoVore.

hello I'm Pan I just turned 26..I have been living on my own since I was 17ish. I have two children, bills to pay, an amazing asexual partner who loves over 11,000miles away from me and who I have not yet met in person.

I am not lost, I know who I am,why I am here, and where I am going.

But.. I still lie awake at night and wonder what things might have been like of I had taken a different path.. and whether or not the path I am on now is the right path at all.

Not lost....just wondering if there is maybe.. a better path for me to not be lost on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lynxe

But.. I still lie awake at night and wonder what things might have been like of I had taken a different path.. and whether or not the path I am on now is the right path at all.

Not lost....just wondering if there is maybe.. a better path for me to not be lost on.

I think hope that this is a natural human thought process, because I get it a lot too, despite being entirely secure with where I am now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

We can't help think how our lives could/can be better, but try to realise it could've been worse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ohdearIzzy

I'm 24 and I'll be starting an MSc next week (argh scary). For the last year whilst finishing my BSc everyone has been asking "so, what career are you aiming for?" I have no idea... hence why I'm doing a masters :D I at least have a vague idea (something to do with environmental science or ecology) but I can't figure out how people decide on a specific career path unless you have a specific passion for one thing... how are you supposed to know you won't hate it once you start? And there are so many potentially brilliant options, I really don't want to be 30 and thinking "I really wish I had done ? instead of this".

Anyway, after living away from home whilst at my previous uni I have now moved back in with my parents in order to afford the masters... I'm going to admit, I miss bills, I miss food shopping, I miss cooking, I miss freezing because we can't afford the gas bill. I certainly never expected to still be studying and living with the parents at 24 (aside for a vague idea of maybe doing a PhD, just because it's sort of expected in my family). Mental health issues resulted in me starting uni a few years later than everyone else and yet I still don't have a plan for my life whilst my (years younger) uni friends are all cheerfully getting the jobs they've been aiming for since starting the degree :wacko: Oh well ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wayfarer

I'm Wayfarer, I'm 21 and I'm doing a Bachelor's degree in Artificial Intelligence. I 'should' have finished in July, but I decided to be in the board of my student orchestra for a year, as well as taking a month off studies to participate in a different full-time orchestra for a month, so I'm a bit behind. If all goes well I'll be finishing this in January, after which I want to apply for a Master's degree (Also in Artificial Intelligence) in Edinburgh. I really enjoy my studies but am a bit scared of applying in a different country, so I keep putting the application off (starting to find out what I have to submit where etc).

Right now I'm still partially financially dependant on my parents, but that doesn't really bother me a lot. (Especially as it entails that I still get an allowance, and for the rest I just live my own life). I have a relatively wellpaid side job at the moment, so could probably manage alone, but as neither I nor my parents have a problem with the construction as it is now, I just put that into savings for when I need it.

At the moment I am just trying to balance everything, work, studies, music, social life (what social life), sleep(!), because I might be doing a little bit too much. Ah well, I'll get past it, no doubt ;)

Also: Yay for having a 20s thread! I've been looking at the 30s thread every once in a while, but it felt a bit strange to intrude (even more so because I still look quite young). I act and feel older than I am, usually, but it still felt odd. So :cake: to Teagan for making this! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ohpapercranes

I'm papercranes and I'm 24. I just recently moved to a new city and it's a bit scary, but exciting too. I have a Bachelor in Education, but it was really difficult finding a teaching position and I wasn't sure teaching made me really happy. I worked at a law office for a bit, but that was incredibley stressful so (with a lot of encouragement from my family and friends) I quit and I'm going back to school to study Library and Information Technology next year! I'm hoping in the future I'll be able to get my masters to become a librarian! *Sigh* big dreams require a bigger income :\

I just recently discovered that I'm gray-asexual and my goodness, what a freeing discovery! For the longest time I thought I was broken. My sense of self really took a blow knowing I was different from my friends and I couldn't figure out why. I had never felt so alone UNTIL my close friend came out as an asexual. I was clueless at first, but when she told me what that meant, I was almost crying. I am not broken! I am not alone!

There are so many changes happening in my life, it's hard to keep up. It's really scary, but exciting all the same.

Props to Teagan for starting this thread :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
starlings

Like some other people here, I'm seriously looking at becoming an expatriate as soon as possible...parts of the United States (such as where I live now) are almost like a third world country in some ways. The education is so poor that it may as well not even exist, no public transportation, no medical providers aside from the hospital, infrastructure falling apart, everything down to the local government dominated by an overwhelmingly ignorant, hateful, ultra-religious majority.

Sadly, though, as someone else mentioned, there are very few job opportunities (in this country, at least) for people who aren't interested in math or science. I studied psychology for two years in college instead of the things I'm very passionate about (literature, art, history, linguistics, and so on). I became very ill, moved back with my father for a year, now I have my own place, am taking a few classes at a community college so I can transfer to a university elsewhere, work 30 hours a week in customer service for minimum wage...to be honest, I'm actually very grateful and lucky to have this job. It's tolerable on most days and I'm making more money than I've ever made at any of my previous jobs, because my previous jobs would never offer me more than 20 hours a week. I'm still not financially independent, as my father still helps me pay my rent and bills, but I've recently gotten my own medical insurance and am paying for that myself and I feel like I'm very slowly becoming more independent. Maybe it's just an illusion, and everything is as shitty as it was before, but then I think of what it would be like if I didn't have this job, and what it was like to be unemployed for almost a year...

To the people who are considering changing their majors or job prospects to something they don't really care about instead of following what makes you happy, I have this to say: you have one life to live. You will not get another chance. I've listened to some people (artists) that I trust very much, and they always say that, first and foremost, you must do what makes you happy. I once worked with a retired woman at an animal rescue who got her bachelor's degree in studio art, went to graduate school for psychology, became an art therapist, moved to Canada and was perfectly happy. She said there's a certain amount of creativity and innovation one must have in today's economy, especially if you want to do what you really enjoy. Most professional artists I have met do work a day job, at least part time.

If you really want to be a writer, or a musician, or an artist, or any of these things, I say do it. Fuck all the people who tell you that it's stupid or a waste of time or you can't do it or you'll be living in your parents' basement the rest of your life. They're just hating for the sake of hating, trying to bust your balls, or jealous because they either don't have the skill or the courage to do it themselves. I was told all of these things since primary school and I wish I had never listened. I'm not listening anymore. You have to do what makes you happy. It's almost guaranteed that you'll have to deal with low-income at least part of the time, but remember that the alternative is waking up five days a week, going to do a job that you don't really give a fuck about and that makes you absolutely miserable, for the rest of your life.

Oh, wow. THIS.

(Although seriously, I relate so much to almost everything everyone's said on this thread. I'm so happy it exists!)

Personally, I'm a twenty-something without further education hoping desperately that one day I'll be a published writer. I did study at degree-level at a prestigious university but had to drop out (something which did not fill my entire extended family with jubilation, as I still get to hear almost daily). I earn so little money I had to move back in with a family member. Some weeks I only eat dry toast because I can't afford anything else. I really don't enjoy my job, but all the others I apply to never reply. It doesn't help that by my age, all my cousins were married with babies and reasonably-paid jobs. I don't know if I even want kids...

Still, I try to remind myself every day that at least I didn't spend another few years (and heinous amounts of money) studying something I didn't enjoy, that would lead me to a life spent in a job I'd wake up every morning just dreading. I don't want to have a life that's 'good enough'. I don't want to 'settle down' if that means settling for something that isn't the life I really want to live. I know there's every chance that I might not succeed at my dreams, but at least when I'm old and decrepit I can know that I really, honest-to-god tried.

I'm thinking about having another go at further education (maybe starting next year) and it does make me nervous. I'd be graduating at what society considers a very late age, especially if I do higher degrees. But surely that's got to be better than graduating at 21/22-ish and realising that you did the wrong degree? Besides, when I was previously studying, there were some people who were only starting in their 50s-60s!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Greyt

I'm 25 but I feel like I'm twice that age. I'm the oldest in my family with three younger brothers. I've never been the first to do anything. Two of my brothers have already moved out and currently employed whereas I'm kinda stuck. I already have one diploma but it hasn't improved my job prospects... Currently studying again and hating it!!! I don't think anyone really understands the situation I'm in. My parents are like "well I'm sure everyone else is sick of it too" but most of the people there are going to school for the first time in their life. They are filled with hope and just think that everythIng will work out for them. If only they knew... meanwhile I'm just trying to stay positive. There is a small chance that things might improve for me next year *fingers crossed.*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nalle Neversure

This thread has made me feel really old. :P

I am 28 and married my asexy SO in August. :wub:

We have 2 doggies and a joined mortgage.

I have a permanent full-time job and I'm about to get my 2nd diploma in a few months.

And none of this would have happened if I hadn't changed everything about 5 years ago... :ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ultima

This thread has made me feel really old. :P

I am 28 and married my asexy SO in August. :wub:

We have 2 doggies and a joined mortgage.

I have a permanent full-time job and I'm about to get my 2nd diploma in a few months.

And none of this would have happened if I hadn't changed everything about 5 years ago... :ph34r:

Change is good... Usually.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Saraya

I'm 21, and I should've been graduated this year except I failed my thesis at the last minute, thus kicking me back in the ball and chain called university. I feel suffocated and stressed, hell I'm posting this for stalling going to uni to look for new topics. I don't even like my major, I want to study Psychology but parents forced me to do English Literature, which I hate, just because I'm okay-ish in English it doesn't mean I want to study it; I don't even like reading books that much. They didn't want to pay for my tuition if I went to Psych, so I went to Eng Lit and hating the last 4 years. Mother just starting to regret forcing me to study what I hate, father couldn't care less. I'm so jealous of people who study in their dream majors.

.

Wanna switch? I am studying Psych and I hate it.

I too am forced to study it when I wanted to study Graphic Arts and Digital Illustration and Japanese(my island has 1 university and offers none of those courses.) I basically have no motivation for Psych. I too envy ppl who get to do their dream majors and study abroad.

I really want to change my major but I am so afraid that the arts major will get me nowhere when compared to the Psychology degree.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Artemis Fowle

I'm in my 20's and I'm just: Life....

destiny3.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Exanimis

You know, I'm going to stray a little.

My job is ok, I kinda like it. Althought I do not use Administration which is what I have studied, I like it real good.

But it is not about that I will be talking about, and I think it belongs here because it deals with my youthfulness (I don't know if that is a word).

I will contextualize for the purpose of the narrative ~

I was sleeping, and I had a dream. In this dream, which I'm not going to specify, I did two things; One, I shared intimacy with a friend and Two, I contacted an old friend.

The subtext is clear, I want a deep connection with someone and I really miss old friendships. Point being.

After that, a bolt of rushing thoughts ran thru' my mind in seconds. I reminisced all the old friendships I had, and I missed them so much. I longed for the time where all this was set, where I had not even half of the problems I have today, and suddenly I felt old.

I have already been thru' a lot of shit - I talk about them here and there by means of posting in this forum - and, sometimes they weigh me down a little bit. Not that much anymore because I ended up getting used to it. But sometimes I long for them, for the friends, for the time. It feels like I'm thirty already.

I don't feel like starting another thread so I'm posting here.

Is there anyone else out there, in their twenties, who feel the same?

Because gosh, I have been just reminded that I am twenty two!

Does anyone else feel this? Or is it just me?

Sorry for the rant.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sarah Elizabeth

Loving this thread so much!!

I'm 22. Got my BSc last year, and I took this year out to evaluate where I want to go. Couldn't find a paying job so I also get to rely on my parents. I'm doing a really awesome internship working with youth at my church. And I'm now planning to study to become a teacher next year.

I think that pretty much sums me up

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Primrose Everdeen

I'm 28, live with my mother, have nothing figured out, thousands in medical debt, and can't keep a job due to major depression.

Go me? :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now