Sexual Grey-A's? (possible TMI)

[iamphoenixfire]

So, I am in the Grey Area. Pretty damn certain I am demi but not like 100% positive. It all fits. Anyway, when I do get sexually attracted to someone, then I get really attracted to them. Like, can't get off my mind and my my mind wanders to very intricate fantasies when I'm not with them, and when I see them I think that immediately and they turn me on and I want to have sex with them. It's like my libido goes through the roof.

But I wonder, though... does that make me not ace? I mean, I'm not sexually attracted to really anyone, but when I am, it's like I get hit in the face repeatedly and it is just a constant. And it's a lot. So, what does that mean? I mean, I see nothing wrong with sex, I'm not repulsed in the slightest, and while I'm a virgin now I certainly could see myself losing my vcard to my current partner and being totally cool with that. And have fun at doing that. And want to do it again. And again. But it's only the people I'm attracted to. Or, really, person, as it has only really happened once or twice. So, what does this mean? You guys have any ideas?

[Philip027]

Well, the way I've seen it, you've got greysexuals who err more toward the "sexual" side, and then you have "grey-As" as they're dubbed, which err more toward the "asexual" side. I would say it all is primarily based on whatever side you feel is more your "default" side.

[Sundance_]

Well, I'm not demi, I don't think, but that's very interesting. As for it making you not ace, that's kind of up to you, although I personally wouldn't want to identify publicly as ace unless I was completely and totally ace. It would make it difficult for you if you did become attracted to someone.

It means you're like half ace, doesn't it? You're ace until you're not, I suppose. You should do want you want. If you're in a relationship with someone, go ahead and have sex (safe sex!) if that's what you want. Be sure to explain to your partners and potential partners what's going on, just so they aren't totally baffled.

Sounds like this sexuality is a little more difficult to plan for. You don't know if or when you'll be attracted to someone, so you can't so easily just go ahead and assume you're going to going to be single or paired in the future. That's okay, though. No one can plan that very well anyway.

[binary suns]

honestly myself, I don't see demi or grey as "not ace" so much as, there's both ace tendencies and sexual tendencies. (and actually, I'm beginning to think that orientation may be more of a conglomeration of smaller details, rather than a broad category)

If you mean to ask, "should I think of myself as demi, does that make sense?" by the sounds of it, it sounds like it would make sense. For you I guess, you'd only feel sexual feelings for certain people once you're close to them, and those feelings just happen to be very intense. sounds OK to me :)

but if you mean "does my experience devalue my inclusion in this community" - no way! this community is about people supporting each other and sharing similar experiences, not about necessarily being 100% asexual. Of course you are included with the community :) even if you discovered a year later that you were actually all sexual - in that time you would have made friends, it would be a shame to see someone with friends here just up and leave.