Sexual attraction only when libido is active? (TMI)

[yomo]

Sorry if there has been something on this already, I couldn't find much.

I think I might feel sexual attraction when my libido is active, but that's it. I really can't tell if it's just my body telling me to go after my partner or if it's genuine sexual attraction. Of course when my libido is active and I actually feel like engaging in physical sex instead of masturbation, I'm going to want sex with my partner because I'm romantically interested in him and I find his body aesthetically attractive. I pretty much never initiate it though. I think I'm autochorissexual because I pretty much have to fantasize about something not involving myself to actually orgasm.

Also when we're actually having sex, I feel more connected to him romantically; I feel the same way I did when our relationship was new. I tend to focus on the actual feeling and how nice it is, and how much I love and trust him. I see him as something beautiful like a sunrise, I wouldn't call it sexual attraction.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[Chewy]

I guess I feel like getting aroused around the time before and after my period.

Maybe this post might help?

[Ultima]

If an active libido is all it takes to feel sexually attracted to someone, I would not be a 34 year old virgin (and at least for now planning to stay one). Have you considered the possibility of being demisexual? I have only looked into asexuality (in a serious manner) for about a month and a half now so I will not call myself an expert. But if you only feel sexually attracted to someone when your libido is active then you might try looking at people other than your partner at these times and see how you feel.

[yomo]

Chewy: I really liked that article :) thanks so much for posting it!

I think I may just be asexual instead of grey asexual now that I've read this. I'll keep this stuff in mind!

Ultima: Thanks for your input! I'm pretty sure I'm not demisexual, but I'll keep what you said in mind as well! ^_^

[Ashmedai]

Hmm, this is interesting, and it sounds somewhat familiar. It sounds like I may go through something very similar to this. I never really thought about it nor could I be able to word it.

[LittleTheorist]

I have felt this way too. It's usually a heightened attraction to men or women and I'll find myself thinking, "Yeah, I'd probably have sex with them...maybe?"

It is a little confusing, but for the most part I don't act on it. It's almost like a fly buzzing around my face, so when I'm distracted by it at first, I quickly move on and keep doing whatever I was doing before.

[binary suns]

Yes I feel exactly that way. If I'm aroused first, I have a lot of primary sexual desire. It isn't attraction I'm 100% sure of that - it doesn't matter that it's that person, they just happen to be in front of you? I have no clue how to talk about it... it scares me, that it would invalidate my otherwise clear ace-ness... but the thing is, it is so clearly not sexual attraction... it's kind of like an addiction would feel, except it's only felt if you're aroused first, and well for me I don't mean a little aroused, I mean like theres a person actively engaging you...