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Minor things that were noticed while AVEN was down


ithaca

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I'm starting this thread for minor things we posted on the backup board, I'll make another one for bigger articles and stuff :P

So:

1- The LGBT Community Flag Gradients

lgbt_community_flag_gradients_by_lovemys

2- "8 Turtlenecks to Divert Your Family From Your Glaring Asexuality"

http://reductress.com/post/8-turtlenecks-divert-family-glaring-asexuality/

Issue 1.1 - Style - Dec 12, 2013 By: Casey Rand

Sick of spending the holidays defending yourself against confused family members who want to know why you never seem to be getting laid by either gender? Throw on one of these stylish turtlenecks and shift the conversation from your lack of interest in physical intimacy to where did you get that snappy dickie!

The Innocent Angel

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.58.32-PM.pn

Who could possibly believe youre not boning it up with dudes when youre dressed in this dazzling pink neck hugger? For added effect, raise your voice an octave so you sound like a little girl. Your family will totally forget that you were supposed to be married 10 years ago.

The Sporty Shorty

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.58.39-PM.pn

Draw attention away from your sex life and toward your athletic prowess with this sporty lycra number. Its thin mesh weave will leave you cool and dry as you sweat through your mothers unsubtle interrogation techniques.

The Bright Side

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.58.55-PM.pn

No living creature could focus on your stunted sexual growth when faced with this glaring long-sleeve gem. Pair it with matching pants and your grandmother will exclaim, Now thats a look for a night on the town with the fellas!

The Chunky Knit

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.59.02-PM.pn

Woven to perfection, your Aunt Matilda will be much too enamored with the knit-work on this sweater to consider the fact that you just might not be interested in a sexual relationship with another person, and that doesnt make you a freak, okay?

The Total Distraction

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.59.08-PM.pn

With its stripes and wavy armpit-shoulder bands, this beauty will completely confuse your relatives, leading them to wonder what the heck is going on with kids these days, instead of concerning themselves with your alternative lonely existence.

The Sex Pot

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.59.14-PM.pn

No one expects a sexless spinster to walk into Nanas house wearing a leather turtleneck. Let your family believe youve done a 180 and are now into the kinky sex scene. After all, the holidays are all about charitable giving, so give them something to talk about!

The Escape Pod

Screen-Shot-2013-12-11-at-11.59.22-PM.pn

If your family is a ruthless group of personal terrorists, consider a cowl neck that can be pulled up over your face when things get rough. With all that space to hide, theyll all but forget you were even there to judge in the first place or maybe just think you have a vicious cold.

3- Mention in a Danish article

http://www.avisen.dk/her-er-myterne-om-sex-du-skal-glemme_279030.aspx

Her er myterne om sex, du skal glemme

Du er bestemt ikke alene, hvis du ikke altid er lige sikker på dig selv, når det gælder sex, men der er mange myter om sex, som du skal glemme alt om.

Aller Media, 5. august 2014 kl. 06:56

Du er bestemt ikke alene, hvis du ikke altid er lige sikker på dig selv, når det gælder sex, men der er mange myter om sex, som du skal glemme alt om.

Der er nogle af os, der ikke har sans for sex

Der findes anslået 1 pct. aseksuelle, altså mennesker, der slet ikke interesserer sig for sex. Resten af os kan lære hele livet og blive superelskere, hvis vi gider! At elske er også en træningssag. Der findes ikke rigtigt og forkert i seksualitet, og der er ikke et pointsystem for præstationer på området. Alle har potentiale for at opleve vild og voldsom sex. Den person du synes er verdens dårligste elsker, kan være et hit hos en anden.

Sexlivet bliver automatisk kedeligere med årene

Kun, hvis du lader det! Forskning viser, at mænd og kvinder gerne fortsætter med at have sex til de er 75 år og længere. Kroppen bliver selvfølgelig ældre gennem livet, og der kan støde fysiske udfordringer til. Men seksualiteten forsvinder ikke. Jo længere du lever, jo dybere kan du lære dig selv at komme i nydelse hvis du altså arbejder på sagen.

Simultanorgasme er målet med sex

Nej. Hvis I kommer samtidig af jer selv eller ved en ganske lille koordination så er det fantastisk. Herligt med fælles fyrværkeri. Men lad være med at stresse over det. Jagten på orgasme er med til at gøre vores elskov til en målrettet affære, der lægger fokus på at præstere frem for bare at have det dejligt og det er ikke i nydelsens interesse. Desuden er det nemmere at få fuld fokus på den enkelte, hvis I kommer forskudt.

Sex en gang om ugen er minimum, hvis man vil have et godt sexliv

Siger hvem? Der er ingen fast dagsorden for, hvor ofte man skal have sex. For nogle er to gange om dagen i underkanten, mens andre er glade, hvis de knalder med deres kæreste en gang om måneden. Begge dele er normalt. Generelt giver det mening at tænke på kvalitet frem for kvantitet hvis det bare handler om at få afløb ofte, kan man jo klare det selv. Det vigtigste er, at man kan tale åbent om, hvad man har lyst til, også hvis der forskel på din og partnerens sexdrive. Det er aldrig ét menneskes opgave at leve op til den andens sexlyst, hvis man ikke har det i sig, heller ikke selv om man er nok så gift.

Alle andre kvinder barberer sig dernede

Nej, de gør ikke. De kvinder, du ser flest af, i svømmehallen og i fitnesscenteret, er måske nok trimmet eller nøgne mellem benene. Men det er altså ikke et gennemsnit af den danske befolkning, du kigger på dér. I øvrigt kan du være fløjtende ligeglad med, hvad alle andre gør. Det, du skal bekymre dig om, er hvad DU føler for. Kan du lide at være hårfri? Så fjern kønshåret. Føler det bedre med hår på for dig? Så lad det gro.

Min kusse er mindre pæn end andres

Din krop er præcis, som den skal være også der. Frikend straks din kusse for at være forkert! Det er svært for en krop, som er dømt på den måde, at nyde i fulde drag. Der findes et ideal for kvindens kønsdele, der gentages i pornofilm, og det er den smalle, lyserøde fisse med små kønslæber, der ikke kan ses udenpå kroppen. Virkeligheden er, at vi som voksne kvinder ser meget forskellige ud forneden. Både mht. form, farve og hår. Tjek det ud på kussomaten.dk og glæd dig over at være del af mangfoldigheden.

Slanke kvinder med store struttende kasser er de mest sexede

Siger hvem? Du kan med garanti finde mennesker, der vil skrive under på dette og det er også tit de tynde piger med store (kunstige) bryster, vi ser i mange pornofilm. Men heldigvis er smag og behag forskellig. Under alle omstændigheder, så er der én ting, der er vigtig at huske: Dét, der tænder mænd allermest, er IKKE en perfekt fysik det er hengivenhed. At du kan slappe af og føler dig fri med ham, nyder sex og viser ham, at du vil have ham. Så brug energien der frem for på at tænke på kroppens detaljer.

Mænd tænder af på hængebryster

Dét er udpræget en kvindetanke. Selvfølgelig findes der nogen, der tripper over små, faste bryster. Men der er altså også mænd, der først kommer helt op at ringe, når brystværket har en vis tyngde og gerne svinger frem og tilbage in action. Mænd tænder generelt på kvinder, der kan lide sig selv, og de fleste mænd er ret vilde med bryster i det hele taget. De bedste bryster for en mand er tilgængelige bryster og bryster, der kan modtage nydelse. Så frem med attributterne, også de lidt lange. Lad ham elske dem, og elsk dem selv.

Sara Skaarup, Tidenskvinder.dk, Aller MEdia

4- A Tumblr post was noticed:

http://aro-ace-wonderwoman.tumblr.com/post/94448760190/shirokusookami-sassygaylunatone-being

Being asexual is a fucking breeze compared to living in a community where people will vandalize your house for holding hands with your lover who is of the same gender. Im so sick and tired of hearing all this whining and complaining and clambering for more asexual representation in media when the challenges faced by asexuals are so fewer and far between those that the actual lgbt community face. Asexuals dont have to fight for their rights, or live in fear of their classmates in high school. They have to deal with people telling them theyll change their mind some day, which is something most people have to deal with in one way or another anyways. I keep making this point but I wont top saying it. We need to tackle the bigger issue before we can trickle down. How the fuck do you expect the world to change and adhere to every single person who isnt a cisgendered heterosexual when there are still people who think two men or women being in love is the epitome of abominations??? Like yes it would be fantastic if every single group of people who arent considered part of the human norm got their piece of the pie, but youre all begging for a piece before the pie is even out of the godamn oven.

Disclaimer: please dont take this the wrong way. I am upset, but not at you. Im upset about whats being said.

Is it a breeze? Do you have any idea what goes on in asexuals lives? Actual LGBT? Do you really know what youre talking about? You think people telling us well change our minds someday is the ONLY shit we get? Okay so firstly: Youre assuming that asexuals arent in same gender relationships. Which isnt true. Just because asexuals dont feel sexually attracted to you doesnt mean were not romantically attracted to people. There are asexuals who are homo/bi/pan/polyromantic, who could, and DO, receive the same discrimination that those who arent asexual receive when theyre in a same-gender relationship. Do you really think people believe us when we say we arent sexually interested in our same-gender partner? Because they dont. They assume youre lying or just guilty because you know "its a sin" or whatever the fuck theyve decided to think for the day. So yes, that vandalism for holding hands? Could completely happen to an asexual, and probably has. We dont have to fight for our rights? Asexuals in same-gender relationships cant get married either, are refused by stores, etc. The same as you. Secondly: Do you know how many people in the asexual community are under the trans* umbrella? Because its a disproportionately large percentage within the asexual community, as opposed to in the general population. So yes, asexuals face "actual LGBT" problems. On top of that, we face a whole host of other issues. Let me put some of them in list format because if I speak in-depth about each issue, this post will never end:

1. People telling you that asexuality isnt real, is biologically impossible, cracks jokes about how youre a plant/amoeba, tells you need to go to a therapist/physician for psychological/hormonal issues, tells you that oh, youll meet someone someday, tells you youre just a prude/stuck up/making excuses for not being able to get laid, tells you that they feel sorry you were sexually abused when you were younger, tells you that youre just a closet gay/lesbian, asks personal questions that have nothing to do with your orientation (ie, libido, do your genitals work, have you ever masturbated, etc). Ex: there was an asexual teen recently who was taken to a doctor by her mother to check for tumors after she came out as asexual.

2. Threats of/actions of sexual assault/harrassment/corrective rape. We get comments like You just need a good fucking, then youll find out youll like it, I can fix you, You havent met me yet, Ill take that as a challenge, etc. and quite a lot of the time this shit goes beyond just words. You want to know the worst part? A large majority of the asexual community approves of coerced consent (Read: coerced consent is not consent), in which the asexual partner should just compromise on sex even if they repeatedly say that they dont want to have sex in order to keep their non-asexual partner happy. This bullshit is actually viewed as a normal thing. There ARE asexuals who want to have sex with their partners, but thats much different from the many asexuals who say they dont want to and who are told by the majority of the asexual community that they have to compromise. If you dont see how this is wrong, I dont know what to say. Ex: an asexual was gangraped in order to show her how much she enjoys it.

3. Your partner(s) freak out/are shocked/dont know what to do. Ties into 2, but this is more about how OTHER people make a big deal out of you being asexual. Whenever someone asks advice about how to come out as asexual to potential partners, the typical response is make sure you tell them that asexuals can still have sex. The reason is that a lot of people dont know how to handle the idea that their partner isnt sexually attracted to them, and adding the fact that we can still have sex helps calm them down. Your partner(s) may leave as if you changed somehow, try to guilt you into having sex or doing other things youre uncomfortable with, berate you, anything listed in 1 or 2. Ex: a person who realized they were asexual told their partner of 6 years, who then broke up with them.

4. We ARE actually assaulted in schools. We get bullied, harassed, beat up, etc because of our asexuality. Its fucking stupid. I know. It makes no goddamn sense to get pissed off about someone who just doesnt experience sexual attraction, but apparently anyone who isnt straight is horrible.

5. Basically no POC representation in the asexual community. In polls, quite a lot of people identify as POC, yet pictures of asexuals consist almost solely of Caucasian persons.

6. Hostility/exclusion even from the LGBT community. Ex: you. Another Ex: an asexual who got the shit beat out of him at a Pride parade because he doesnt belong there.

7. People view us as less human. This was actually part of a study. People literally trust asexuals less than any other orientation. Heres the link.

8. People telling us that despite all this, and the fact that we actually have to explain what asexuality is when we come out, asexuality doesnt need awareness, that we dont have to shove it in peoples faces, that we dont have to come out, that we have no closet to come out of, that we dont experience discrimination, that acephobia doesnt exist, that we dont exist.

But you know what? We dont have "actual LGBT" problems, because were not at the level of awareness that the LG portion of the LGBT has now. Have you forgotten already how hard it was to get awareness, now that you have a little yourself? Has the LGBT community already forgotten the time when the BT wasnt there, the time when homosexuality was considered a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association? Have you all already forgotten the time when nobody talked about violence and prejudice against you? Have you already forgotten the pain of not existing, and now that you have forgotten, you can shit on those of us who havent gotten as far? Because what your post basically conveyed was Yeah, you have issues, but youre not as important as I am. Your issues arent as important as mine. You can wait. How about instead of comparing scars about who is the most discriminated, we work together to stop the scars from being given to the next generation of people who arent cis and heterosexual? Funny how not segregating people based on orientation is such an alien concept to so many people in the LGBT community with all its "actual problems". Hows it going, by the way, with so many supposedly pro-LGBT movements being biphobic/transphobic, or barely representing POC, or the L part of the LGBT? Oh, woops, did I drop that only-pride-for-white-cis-gay-men news too fast? Fun fact: did you know that the asexual pride flag is the only pride flag to have a color representing community, as well as the only pride flag to have a color representing people of other orientations (AKA yours)? You sit down and think about that for a moment. I would love not to have to have awareness. I would love for people to just not care. But thats not the case.

12:38:56 @ 8/11/2014

5- FCKH8 (Twitter) has recently posted about asexuality: https://mobile.twitter.com/FCKH8

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http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/108/f/3/lgbt_community_flag_gradients_by_lovemystarfire-d7exrkx.jpg

Hermaphrodite is dated, wrong, and offensive. No human is a hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodites have BOTH female and male genitalia AND can get themselves pregnant. Humans can have both genitalia, but can NOT make themselves pregnant. Some snails are hermaphrodites, however.

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http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/108/f/3/lgbt_community_flag_gradients_by_lovemystarfire-d7exrkx.jpg

Hermaphrodite is dated, wrong, and offensive. No human is a hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodites have BOTH female and male genitalia AND can get themselves pregnant. Humans can have both genitalia, but can NOT make themselves pregnant. Some snails are hermaphrodites, however.

Wow! I did not know this. (About the term 'hermaphrodite' being offensive). Thanks for the education. Is there a term for a human with both genitalia? Do they identify as one gender over the other? Would they identify as neuter?(Though that's probably not the right word).

Do both genitalia function fully? Are they both male and female internally? (Can they become pregnant as well as impregnate?) Fascinating.

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Thank you, Chewy. That answered a lot of questions. I have heard the term 'intersex', but wasn't clear on it's meaning, or it's use to replace the aforementioned offensive term.

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http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/108/f/3/lgbt_community_flag_gradients_by_lovemystarfire-d7exrkx.jpg

Hermaphrodite is dated, wrong, and offensive. No human is a hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodites have BOTH female and male genitalia AND can get themselves pregnant. Humans can have both genitalia, but can NOT make themselves pregnant. Some snails are hermaphrodites, however.

Wow! I did not know this. (About the term 'hermaphrodite' being offensive). Thanks for the education. Is there a term for a human with both genitalia? Do they identify as one gender over the other? Would they identify as neuter?(Though that's probably not the right word).

Do both genitalia function fully? Are they both male and female internally? (Can they become pregnant as well as impregnate?) Fascinating.

Intersex people can have lots of different "configurations" (can't think of the right word) as far as genitalia goes, but they're not snails. They generally don't have both sets of external genitalia (not fully, at least), and they definitely cannot impregnate themselves. Intersexuality can also be not about external genitalia, but about gonads, or hormones, or chromosomes. It really is a looooooong explanation, and there's info on the internet that you can find. But yeah, definitely using "hermaphrodite" isn't the best way to go about it.

As far as gender identity goes, they can be of any gender identity, just like a person who is born with typical genitalia. The big problem is that in many countries, they are subjected to forced surgery when they're babies, and the doctors choose what body to give them, without obviously knowing how they (will) feel about their gender. We discuss this sometimes in Gender Discussion forum, try with the search function there ;)

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This is basically what falls under the category for intersex:

If a girl's clitoris is longer than a certain length, it falls in the category of intersex. If a boy's penis is shorter than a certain length, it falls into the category of intersex. When the genitalia is nonexisting or some combination of the two, it also falls into the category of intersex.

Intersex covers a LARGE variety of different conditions and syndromes. Some are relatively harmless in the grand scheme of things, but others can be considered life threatening. Full information can be found here: http://www.isna.org/

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