Would I Be Considered an Asexual?

[Heine03]

All though I'm aware of the grey areas that CAN be asexuality, I ask this because I'm aware that at least some of you probably have your own classification as to what makes someone asexual or not.. Anyways

I would consider myself a straight man, I certainly have no attraction to men, but I am attracted to women.. I have strong interests in relationships, marriage, and even children. I even have a few fetishes that I only find to be satisfied through women. Aside from those, when things do heat up between me and the girlfriend of the time, I don't find myself interested in sex itself, or even any type of touching of the vagina, but I do enjoy when me and said person lay on top of one another and more or less hump one another (usually fully clothed, half naked at the most) until a sexual climax is reached.. But I don't find myself interested or have a desire to have actual sex.. I would also like to note that I do masturbate regularly as well. With all that information, would I be considered asexual? Or? Thanks to anyone who replies!

[Heart]

I think the definition of "sex" is the thing that is interesting here. Personally, I don't believe that the penis has to be in the vagina for it to be sex, so I would probably call what you described "having sex". To me, the only definition of sex is that it is an activity between two completely and continually consenting people with the goal of pleasure for one or both parties. However you want to do that is entirely up to you. If you enjoy humping with clothes on until you climax, that's awesome! Some people prefer to be naked, others prefer to be completely clothed or somewhere in between. I wouldn't say that that "disqualifies" you from having "real sex". As long as it's what you both want, that's a beautiful thing.

Having said that, not everyone agrees with me and that's cool. Part of the great thing about this community is that variety is so well integrated ;) If you don't feel like calling what you do with your partner "sex", then that's cool too.

But, ultimately, what you do is irrelevant to what your orientation is. Based on your described actions, you could still be anything. Orientations are about who you're attracted to, not what you do with certain people. If you are sexually attracted to women, you might find the label straight continues to apply to you. If you're only rarely or under very specific circumstances attracted to women, then maybe grey is a more apt label. And if you feel that your attraction is not at all sexual in nature, but rather romantic or aesthetic, then maybe asexual is the word you're looking for. Ultimately, you're the only one who knows yourself well enough to decide that one though. Try these labels on for size and see what feels best. And remember that there's never a problem with changing that word you use to describe yourself if you find that you change as well :D