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As an asexual, do you like to be sexually attractive?


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I'm really curious to see peoples' takes on this. I do like being attractive, but sometimes I feel like there are people who would call me a tease if they knew I was asexual.

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I would probably feel flattered if someone thought I was attractive. I would freak out if they tried to act on their attraction though.

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I take care of my looks so that I look decent lol, but I honestly don't like being referred to as "sexy," so I guess I should say no? I want to look attractive in my own way, but not sexually attractive, if that makes sense.

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Lies_As_Lau

Eh, I imagine some asexuals do, but I don't really care. I'm more worried about the soul connections than anything, everyone else doesn't matter to me

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The idea of being sexually attractive has always really confused me. If any of my partners did call me 'sexy' I never understood why they were saying it. I still don't get the whole point of why it's important for a lot of people. But I think that's cause I don't personally understand how sex is so important for a lot of people. That's just me. I guess my perceptions are ace through and through :P

As a side thought... identifying as asexual but still wanting to be sexually attractive sounds contradictory to me. Being asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction, yeah? So I don't understand why someone would want to advertise their sexual appeal, I guess, to other people. I fully allow other people to express themselves however they want, and am fully up to hearing other points of view. The idea of it confuses me, is all.

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Nope. I'm glad I'm unattractive. It makes being ace a whole lot easier.

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I have to say no. I'm not comfortable inspiring an emotion that is alien in me sometimes.

Thankfully I don't think I inspire that in people, so it's not really a problem.

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I wouldn't mind being considered sensually attractive, but those days are long gone.

To salve my ego, I will admit that I was quite popular and attractive in the past. ;)

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I love being sexually attractive for my sweetie...

Whether that entails pajamas and dressing gown or getting dolled up in a kinky maid outfit, I want to be hot for him :wub: hehe

We are both sensual aces: lots of sensuality and attraction, just no partnered sex :P

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alpacaterpillar

I want to be romantically (and maybe sensually) attractive. I tend to get more attention of a sexual nature though (that I notice, anyway). So I guess I'd say no.

As a side thought... identifying as asexual but still wanting to be sexually attractive sounds contradictory to me. Being asexual means you don't experience sexual attraction, yeah? So I don't understand why someone would want to advertise their sexual appeal, I guess, to other people. I fully allow other people to express themselves however they want, and am fully up to hearing other points of view. The idea of it confuses me, is all.

I personally have tended to identify being sexually attracted with being interested in a relationship. As time goes on though I'm beginning to differentiate between those more and more, as I've only ever really got the impression girls just want to have sex with me and leave it at that. I can't speak for others though - maybe it's a dynamic in socialising?

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Capslock Cadet

I once saw a post on tumblr that said something along the lines of "I would dress a 1000% more skimpy if men didn't think I dress for them", and I think that pretty much sums it up for me. I can enjoy dressing up in all kinds of ways, but knowing how some people will look at me because of it just... yeah. I end up not dressing that way a lot of the time simply because I don't feel entirely comfortable when the whole "people will expect a certain attitude from me if I dress this way" thing comes into play.

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I like to look good and take care of myself for ME.. And those people who already know me and can be appreciative of the effort I make to take care of myself and look good (ie- genuine compliments not meant to "score points").

I hate random compliments/being hit on by guys for two reasons: 1) I can't relate to being physically attracted to someone in any way workout knowing them on a deeply personal level first. 2) Despite not having much body dysphoria personally, I don't identify as female despite presenting that way and that attention does make me dysphoric..

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Not really, no. I mean, I wouldn't want to be super ugly, but I am thankful that I'm rather plain and average looking rather than "sexy" or "attractive". One thing I like about my appearance is that it doesn't attract much positive or negative attention based on my looks. Besides being much shorter than normal girls, there isn't much about me that is noteworthy.

I want people to notice or like me because of my personality, not because of my what I look like, and as a result, on the rare occasion I get complimented on my appearance I feel super awkward. I also feel guilty turning down guys who have crushes on me so I am glad my body doesn't attract any extra sexual attention.

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Well, if someone finds me sexually attractive, ok, enjoy it, but I don't need to know. Can I do something about it? Not really, no, so it's just something that one has to accept because some people just can't help themselves.

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Sebastian Grace

No, I don't like to be thought of as sexually attractive, and I like it even less when people let me know that they find me sexually attractive. I have a problem with how it's supposed to be a compliment that someone else would bang me. In my opinion, it's an unwarranted sentiment and remark that makes me feel gross and objectified. I don't want my worth and existence to be measured by how many people would have sex with me.

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1/100 of me

No one finds me attractive so I've never really thought about it. I think I'd just say "does not compute."

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I'm not attractive but I'd love to be so I could be confident. I wouldn't like being hit a lot but at the same time I'd like the attention.

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ButtCountyDanceParty

There's unfortunately a lot to be gained from fitting into a societal idea of attractive: Beautiful people tend to get hired/promoted more, people are nicer to you, etc. For the most part it happens on a subconscious level, but I don't like it even though I think I often benefit from it.

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Fire & Rain

I only like to fantasize about being sexually attractive just like my fantasies about sex and romance. When someone finds me sexually attractive, I feel grossed out by it.

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Personally, I would rather someone be attracted to me aesthetically. Thinking about someone finding me sexually attractive is gross/weird

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I prefer to not be thought of as sexually attractive by anyone ....and, I certainly would never fantasize about something like that.

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Mycroft is Yourcroft

I like being confident and looking good. Usually, that means people find me sexually attractive.

So, yes, I do.

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I like being confident and looking good. Usually, that means people find me sexually attractive.

So, yes, I do.

^^ Same here. I like to look good for me because I feel confident when I'm dressed nicely. I don't mind if people find me sexually attractive so long as they don't expect me to reciprocate. Sometimes I even like the attention, but not when they're pushy about it.

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I like being confident and looking good. Usually, that means people find me sexually attractive.

So, yes, I do.

^^ ah, that's exactly the words to express it!

in an ideal world, i would have people find me just aesthetically, sensually (maybe), and romantically attractive, and not so much sexually attractive so that i wouldn't have to awkwardly deal with that. but that's just so idealistic and rare, it seems that sexual attraction is so primary to majority of people, but it's still more or less positive attention, and a good reflection on me, so i'll take it... and try not to lead people on too much! haha

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God, no. What would be the point of that?

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Sage Raven Domino

I think there's a similar thread in The Census already (though 'being called' and 'being' are different things), and the topic is definitely worthy.

As for myself... I'd hate to harm and manipulate people via attraction (I was afraid of being manipulated by ladies for the erroneous half of my life, though it has never happened). If having an occupation that would require 'service with a smile', it would become tricky... but, thankfully, there are many home jobs available nowadays. If having a partner, I'd however succumb to their will (but advise them to be as unattractive in my presence as possible because the value of the relationship would lie in their intelligence and personality).

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I don't particularly care about being thought attractive. I prefer being thought of as the person I am rather than in terms of attractiveness, but it's not the worst thing in the world to be thought of as.

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Calligraphette_Coe

It has its advantages, I suppose, but having the wrong gender looks for my biosex and being asexual makes it feel like a dead end street in a bad part of town.

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