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Kink, BDSM, and Cake


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Haha fair enough xD

Blindfolds are nice, but not if they take up too much face. But really just masks in general; when I wear them then it's kinda too claustrophobic. On others then I guess it's an aesthetic thing... I like seeing people react to stuff, and masks hide that. In my mind I guess it dehumanises them too.

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Yeah, I'm of the same mind. Blindfolds are cool and I wouldn't mind smaller masks that just cover the eyes and nose, but nothing full face. The reactions are important and so is my partner's humanity.

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Per the masks discussion: blindfolds freak me out. If I'm with someone I trust and feeling okay about pushing limits, I might do it. It's not a hard no, just an area I don't like.

Masks are just not my thing. It goes along with hating clowns and mall Santas. I don't like grown people in costume outside of pre-determined reasons, like Halloween. Even then, I'm iffy with it. Not sure where that particular dislike stems from, but it's there.

Also, hello Shadow Conqueror. You should check out the Michigan thread in the meetup section. I think we are trying to get together next weekend if you are interested.

Finally, I had to share because I'm excited. I hit submit on my med school application. It is officially out of my hands. I really would like to spend some time out of my head now.

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I have a question. Before any of you really realized that you were into BDSM - on any kind of level - did you find yourself naturally drawn to submissive/dominant people in general (non-sexual ways included)? If so, did you ever have relationship issues? Have any of you, subs in particular, ever found yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a crappy dom?

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Yeah... I used to play things like cops and robbers a lot as a kid. I kinda forgot about it as I grew up until I randomly stumbled into it again.

It never effected my relationships as I avoided them for most of my life. When I eventually got in one then we actually partook in a bit of bondage as well. Guess I got lucky.

And I did also get in a really bad relationship, where it ended up being abusive on a mental scale, which wasn't fun. They used bondage against me in that as well. Bring them trust issues on, yo.

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Yeah... I used to play things like cops and robbers a lot as a kid. I kinda forgot about it as I grew up until I randomly stumbled into it again.

It never effected my relationships as I avoided them for most of my life. When I eventually got in one then we actually partook in a bit of bondage as well. Guess I got lucky.

And I did also get in a really bad relationship, where it ended up being abusive on a mental scale, which wasn't fun. They used bondage against me in that as well. Bring them trust issues on, yo.

Thanks for your reply. I guess I'm asking for personal reasons. I asked about the potential abusive relationships because of a particular relationship I had, for years, with someone who was naturally dominant... but... a piece of crap to me, emotionally, pretty much. It wasn't until a while after I met the person that I started to realize on a conscious level that I had BDSM inclinations (and that he did as well), so it made me reel a little bit, because I realized there were essentially hidden aspects to our relationship that I hadn't even been aware of. So, I was just wondering if other people went through anything similar.

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Sounds pretty similar to mine too. Though for me I actually encouraged them into BDSM because of their Dominant personality. This was just before I started to notice how shit they were treating me, or when they started getting getting really bad with it.

Hope you managed to get out of yours ok though :) . Mental scars can last as long as physical ones, and can cause just as much damage.

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Sounds pretty similar to mine too. Though for me I actually encouraged them into BDSM because of their Dominant personality. This was just before I started to notice how shit they were treating me, or when they started getting getting really bad with it.

Hope you managed to get out of yours ok though :) . Mental scars can last as long as physical ones, and can cause just as much damage.

I just told him about a month ago that I could no longer be a part of his life, and that was after more than 7 years. Long and complicated... But thank you for the kind thoughts. :)

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Aw, no problem, that's a lot of time of pain. At least you're out now. If you need a chat or anything then give me a shout, it's never fun to go through.

Oh and Don't do my mistake. I split apart for a few months, maybe close to a year. But it felt like a void to me, and so I crawled back to them and went through the whole thing again, except this time they had even more crap to pile against me. It sounds obvious I guess, but if you've put years of your life into something/someone, then it can almost feel like the norm.

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Aw, no problem, that's a lot of time of pain. At least you're out now. If you need a chat or anything then give me a shout, it's never fun to go through.

Oh and Don't do my mistake. I split apart for a few months, maybe close to a year. But it felt like a void to me, and so I crawled back to them and went through the whole thing again, except this time they had even more crap to pile against me. It sounds obvious I guess, but if you've put years of your life into something/someone, then it can almost feel like the norm.

Yeah, the thing is, we weren't ever even officially together - but in the grand scheme of things, especially regarding our relationship, I don't think an "official title" would have made much of a difference. Really not kidding when I say it's complicated. Heh.

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It's good to see this thread! :)

I have been curious about exploring my dominant side for a while, but it just seems SO difficult to find a partner where it won't involve something sexual. At least around where I live. I just...I dunno, aside from not enjoying the thought of sex, it also seems to ruin the whole idea for me. Like I can't take it seriously as soon as it becomes sexual. Hm.

I also have a number of fetishes, but somehow they seem safe and sound inside my head, so it's not actually something I feel the need to explore in real life. :)

Anyway, good to meet others in here who like some of the same things :D

iam on fetliffe therre are things that might intteerest you

that you can do alone worth to checkout

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:-S I'm conflicted. One of my frequent (as in weekly) play partners has asked if we could add a hitachi wand vibrator to our usual rope and sensation play. On the one hand, I trust him and I love vibrators and he strictly said that there would be nothing penatrative (he knows and accepts my Asexuality), but on the other, I've never orgasmed in front of anyone before (and I'm rather messy and self contious about it) and I've never done anything so ummm... Sexual, for lack of a better term, with someone for years... Not to mention he's twice my age. I'm not sure if I should try it again or not... Thoughts?

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Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you trust him, love vibrators, and he respects your limits: I see no reason not to if you can get over your self consciousness. However, that is up to you.

Not sure the age thing matters, I mean you're already doing ropes and sensation with him right? In that case, really is just down to whether or not you are comfortable. Just remember that if you aren't comfortable now you could be later. Or if you try it and do not like it you don't have to do it again.

...

Honestly, I'd probably think it was cute :redface:

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CreativeUsername

First post here. I had some pretty intense and dramatic struggles with my sexuality throughout most of my 20's. I grew up in one of those households where deviations from the 'norm' just didn't exist and I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me because no matter how hard I tried to fit the 'correct' mold, I just couldn't. When I went off to college, I I spent a period of time "trying on" a range of sexualities. It didn't work. A couple of years ago, someone I was dating suggested that I might be asexual. I thought it was impossible because I figured that even if I felt no joy or desire with sex, having all these secret kinks that arouse me would make some sort of sexual person. I was doing a web search the other day for something semi-related and came across this forum, then this thread. It's hard to put into words how I felt without running into a whole bunch of verbal cliches, so screw it, I'll use the cliche. It felt like coming home. It was like I was lost and am now found. The despair I had been feeling for years about this was so great that reading this thread and others opened this great release in me. I actually choked up, which embarrassed my dog because he's used to seeing me as this tightly wound ball of control.

I'm deeply ashamed of my kinks, and they really aren't all that eye-popping. I've never spoken about them to anyone. This seems like a great place to 'out' myself, at least a little bit.

~watching people achieve orgasm. It's so fascinating. The facial expressions, the sounds of the body doing the movements to get there.

~male/male sex. I don't know why.

~D/s, humiliation, very rough sex, pet play, anthropomorphism...I could read stories about these for hours. I spend a lot of time on fanfic sites.

~the idea of someone controlling me. My imagination goes from gentle, playful control to fairly intense control.

I think that's all I'm able to share for now. Back to my regularly scheduled tightly would ball of control. lol

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:-S I'm conflicted. One of my frequent (as in weekly) play partners has asked if we could add a hitachi wand vibrator to our usual rope and sensation play. On the one hand, I trust him and I love vibrators and he strictly said that there would be nothing penatrative (he knows and accepts my Asexuality), but on the other, I've never orgasmed in front of anyone before (and I'm rather messy and self contious about it) and I've never done anything so ummm... Sexual, for lack of a better term, with someone for years... Not to mention he's twice my age. I'm not sure if I should try it again or not... Thoughts?

I'm also kind of running into that conundrum of the possibility of having an orgasm during play with the person I've been playing with, and I feel the same way you do about it (self conscious, would feel really bizarre). It might also depend on what your partner is trying to achieve as well (is he trying to get you off sexually or just enhance your overall enjoyment?). My partner would probably be totally thrilled if I had an orgasm (especially since he is struggling to understand asexuality), but he also respects my boundaries.

If you're afraid that it might cause an "O" then you might want to not do it, but then again, maybe it won't - especially if you are afraid of having it happen in front of someone. That would pretty much hold things back for me - just the whole self conscious thing, and that anxiety would probably prevent me from having an O. However, from my point of view, if I even do have an "O" while playing with this person it would just be what it is.

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/deep breath in/ Okay, so I agreed on the conditions that 1) vibrators may only be used during private play parties and 2) I maintain enough mobility to escape the vibrator if I need to. I don't think I'm ready to dive head first I to this new addition to our scenes.

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Boundaries are important, I am glad you are setting them.

I hadn't even thought of the private thing...namely because I could not possibly imagine being in public :redface:

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I consider myself an asexual fetishist, as while sex does not interest me nor do I experience sexual attraction to people, I have a markedly sexual interest in some pretty random, seemingly non-sexual stuff.

It's not really BDSM-related, though, and I don't really have a desire to act on it with other people. I do, however, like to draw fetish-related art sometimes, and have found that lots of art sites have communities for kink art, which makes finding likeminded people a breeze. Just pointing this out for anyone who wants to know other ways of reaching out to fellow kinksters through the internet.

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I'm not sure about being restrained and such. The loss of control seems potentially overwhelming to me. My kink/security blanket is just a diaper.

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/deep breath in/ Okay, so I agreed on the conditions that 1) vibrators may only be used during private play parties and 2) I maintain enough mobility to escape the vibrator if I need to. I don't think I'm ready to dive head first I to this new addition to our scenes.

Don't forget (though you probably know it better than me) you can always stop whilst it's going on, if you're uncomfortable, You clearly trust each other.

First post here. I had some pretty intense and dramatic struggles with my sexuality throughout most of my 20's. I grew up in one of those households where deviations from the 'norm' just didn't exist and I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me because no matter how hard I tried to fit the 'correct' mold, I just couldn't. When I went off to college, I I spent a period of time "trying on" a range of sexualities. It didn't work. A couple of years ago, someone I was dating suggested that I might be asexual. I thought it was impossible because I figured that even if I felt no joy or desire with sex, having all these secret kinks that arouse me would make some sort of sexual person. I was doing a web search the other day for something semi-related and came across this forum, then this thread. It's hard to put into words how I felt without running into a whole bunch of verbal cliches, so screw it, I'll use the cliche. It felt like coming home. It was like I was lost and am now found. The despair I had been feeling for years about this was so great that reading this thread and others opened this great release in me.

And you've described almost perfectly how I found AVEN as well ^_^ Welcome :cake:

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First post here. I had some pretty intense and dramatic struggles with my sexuality throughout most of my 20's. I grew up in one of those households where deviations from the 'norm' just didn't exist and I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me because no matter how hard I tried to fit the 'correct' mold, I just couldn't. When I went off to college, I I spent a period of time "trying on" a range of sexualities. It didn't work. A couple of years ago, someone I was dating suggested that I might be asexual. I thought it was impossible because I figured that even if I felt no joy or desire with sex, having all these secret kinks that arouse me would make some sort of sexual person. I was doing a web search the other day for something semi-related and came across this forum, then this thread. It's hard to put into words how I felt without running into a whole bunch of verbal cliches, so screw it, I'll use the cliche. It felt like coming home. It was like I was lost and am now found. The despair I had been feeling for years about this was so great that reading this thread and others opened this great release in me. I actually choked up, which embarrassed my dog because he's used to seeing me as this tightly wound ball of control.

I'm deeply ashamed of my kinks, and they really aren't all that eye-popping. I've never spoken about them to anyone. This seems like a great place to 'out' myself, at least a little bit.

~watching people achieve orgasm. It's so fascinating. The facial expressions, the sounds of the body doing the movements to get there.

~male/male sex. I don't know why.

~D/s, humiliation, very rough sex, pet play, anthropomorphism...I could read stories about these for hours. I spend a lot of time on fanfic sites.

~the idea of someone controlling me. My imagination goes from gentle, playful control to fairly intense control.

I think that's all I'm able to share for now. Back to my regularly scheduled tightly would ball of control. lol

Gah! I'm usually better about welcoming new peeps, but I've been busy. Anywho, welcome to the kinky side of cake!
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LeaveOnYourColours

I really didn't know anything about links and just assumed I wasn't kinky. Then earlier tonight I read about body worship and that's me. I love that stuff. I find myself sort of platonically (not kissing or licking, however, with a qpp, that would be fun...) body worshipping my best friend. Mainly, his hands, his neck, and his calf. I don't know, it's just delicious :P

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.-. My "Kink" Would be Cake and Anime Characters..

Just Cut the "Human" Body out the Picture.

(Anime Characters are Different...Don't ask why, Dunno myself.)

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.-. My "Kink" Would be Cake and Anime Characters..

Just Cut the "Human" Body out the Picture.

(Anime Characters are Different...Don't ask why, Dunno myself.)

Lol, me, too! They're better cuddle fantasy material than most real people. Dang it... I must go feed my yaoi fix now. :P
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Best $0.99 you'll ever spend on a short, sweet, to the point guide about the real world of kink, fetishes, and bdsm. It's an easy and informational read for beginners (dominant and submissive alike).

How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive: A Practical Guide to Making Your Fantasies a Reality: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NC05X2K

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Upon researching, I like body worship as well. Necks, backs, hands, and feet mostly. I actually really like backs, I am probably more attracted to a nice back, neck, and hands than I am to the usual breast/butt that most guys seem to prefer. There is just something so beautiful about a back and the interplay of muscles along it, the tension, the shape of the spine, etc.

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Well, I did it. I tried a scene with a vibrator... And it wasn't bad. Granted, I was wearing leggings the entire time, but I definitely enjoyed myself. I'm glad I went slow, but I think I blew it out of proportion in my head. Then again, better safe than sorry. :)

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My kink,I'm into femdom ,sensual BDSM (No pain BDSM), CFNM, male slaves/.servants.. I wish I can turn my sexual boyfriend into my slave boy and wear a chasity belt but my BF is not a fan of BDSM :( .

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