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Kink, BDSM, and Cake


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IvoryStardust
3 hours ago, Serran said:

One thing with fetlife, is, it can be rather explicit. So, it might not be the best place for people who may be a little 

3 hours ago, Serran said:

 

Fet is a good source, but it can be quite explicit, you do have a very valid point there. 

 

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ChillaKilla

Kind of a funny story regarding kink/fetish that occurred not an hour ago :P

I had gone to TJ Maxx (it's a discount store, they take overstock/damages/old product other stores have phased out and sell em for cheap) and bought $15 worth of skincare stuff (don't judge okay) and I had this text exchange with my friend about the whole thing:

 

Me: "how do I stop treating myself"

Her: "?? imagine that the vice of gluttony is slowly consuming you whole like a jawless worm?"

Me: "that's my kink"

Her: "dude wtf :lol:

I was only partially joking. Never try to frame being devoured alive as a bad thing to a vorarephile!

:lol::lol::lol: 

 

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I love joking about having a kink and than actually having that one. Whispering to myself they'll never know

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Hi y'all. I definitely identify with the fetishist part. Omorashi's my kink, but I've only ever explored it in fantasy (aka porn videos or omorashi.org). Never seen it happen irl, and I don't know if I would want to. Also, I'm still trying to figure out what asexual term fits me the best. Right now I'm up between graysexual, demisexual or self-sexual, but I've also been flip flopping lately. With me, my mind wants sex eventually, but I've never had a physical desire to have sex with another person, and I don't know if that will ever change or not. But then again, I don't know if I want to find a partner into omorashi. Idk, it's sorta *my* thing, always has been. Anyway thanks for listening 👍🏼 👍🏼 :cake:

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37 minutes ago, Mystery828 said:

Hi y'all. I definitely identify with the fetishist part. Omorashi's my kink, but I've only ever explored it in fantasy (aka porn videos or omorashi.org). Never seen it happen irl, and I don't know if I would want to. Also, I'm still trying to figure out what asexual term fits me the best. Right now I'm up between graysexual, demisexual or self-sexual, but I've also been flip flopping lately. With me, my mind wants sex eventually, but I've never had a physical desire to have sex with another person, and I don't know if that will ever change or not. But then again, I don't know if I want to find a partner into omorashi. Idk, it's sorta *my* thing, always has been. Anyway thanks for listening 👍🏼 👍🏼 :cake:

Welcome! :) Urine for a good time here then! (sorry that was awful).

It often happens that a person can have a kink but not want others to partake in it, so if you do feel like you aren't comfortable with it, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do it with anyone! :cake: 

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13 minutes ago, Ricchan said:

Welcome! :) Urine for a good time here then! (sorry that was awful).

It often happens that a person can have a kink but not want others to partake in it, so if you do feel like you aren't comfortable with it, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do it with anyone! :cake: 

Fucking hell 😂😂😂 but yeah. Also need to keep reminding myself that sexuality is fluid, that whatever identity I give myself now, it could 100% change.

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19 minutes ago, Mystery828 said:

Fucking hell 😂😂😂 but yeah. Also need to keep reminding myself that sexuality is fluid, that whatever identity I give myself now, it could 100% change.

Indeed! Never be scared that you might not feel the way you do now! Easier said than done, but sounds like you have your shit together :P 

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On 5/1/2017 at 2:16 AM, Serran said:

Are you looking for a resource that doesn't go into sexual details? Doesn't have nudity? Or just will only teach you the casual BDSM, without going into more extreme scenarios? If we knew what exactly you were trying to avoid, we may be able to more easily provide resources that match what you're seeking. :)

Casual - yes,

nudity - only drawn, not animated or photos/videos,

sexual details - not really.

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I am interested in BDSM, though it's more for the clothes to be honest. In fact I'm into a lot of things just for the fashion.  :lol:

I do find the BDSM lifestyle very intriguing and interesting.

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Hello!

 

So relieved to find this thread- I thought I was the only one! :D

 

I'm into bondage, dom/sub, roleplay, and sadomasochism from an emotional rather than sexual perspective, and might have a few other fetishes people are better off not knowing about :ph34r:

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3 hours ago, Just Me, Myself and I said:

Hello!

 

So relieved to find this thread- I thought I was the only one! :D

 

I'm into bondage, dom/sub, roleplay, and sadomasochism from an emotional rather than sexual perspective, and might have a few other fetishes people are better off not knowing about :ph34r:

Welcome and enjoy the... specialised cake ;) 
 

Spoiler

11357766_100359370305160_1943526332_n.jp

 

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nonAlloyed

Hi. This is my first time making an account/posting on one of the AVEN forums even though I've been scrolling through them since i was in middle school. It makes me really happy and inspired to read from other people who are ace identifying and do things in the BDSM community. I have some questions that I dont know how to address and I just wanted to see if anyone has had similar experiences or any advice for me. 

 

So I am a person who, up until very recently, identifies as a panromantic asexual (i may very well be a demisexual). I recently started dating this non-binary beauty who is the love of my life and we share many things with each other. They were my first kiss as well as as the first and only person I've had sex with (it was/is terrifying XD but its also fun and I like it that way). Prior to this, we both knew each others' kinks to a large degree: I have been interested in topping/domming and mild sadism since i stumbled across it in my early internet browsing days. They have much more experience than I do in both having vanilla sex and doing BDSM stuff and are really into being a sub and intense masochism. 

 

A few weeks ago we actually started doing D/s stuff together (tied to the bed, asking for permission, things like that) with me as the top and we have done it a few more times before now. I like it alot but we also caught a few snags and we misread each others body language as was wont to happen eventually.  So while we both ended up enjoying the decision to play around, it often ended abruptly with one of us, usually my partner, feeling confused, neglected or pushed too far. A part of the reason this keeps happening is that we both get hung up on the fact that I'm not seeking any overtly sexual pleasure from these interactions. I also get scared during it and worried that I will do the wrong thing or make them hurt too much. I keep replaying in my head what happened the last time we played around and I feel extremely guilty even though I know they had a good time despite my fuck ups (not balancing the pain w/ pleasure). 

 

In general I just feel like I dont know what i'm doing with their body and that I'm going to be a disappointing sex partner in comparison to the other people they've known in their life. I dont know how to get over this feeling. Have you ever felt like this after playing around/doing a scene and how do you get over it all and actually improve on how you top/dom your sub? Where does the confidence come from? Everyone says experience but what do you do in the mean time before you have that? 


sorry for randomly gushing here and if i wrote this in the wrong forum thread please help me TuT. Basically any advice or help is appreciated. 

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chair jockey

I don't have a kink, I'm not interested in BDSM, but there's something I've been thinking about for a while.

 

I'm strongly aversive to dominance. Even in work situations, a dominant person just makes me want to be anywhere else except around them. Really strong personalities feel toxic to me. (I know they're not, but they feel that way.)

 

So what's that called from the perspective of people who know about the kinds of things discussed here? (If replying please quote or tag me so I'll know. :) )

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J. van Deijck

lol I'm tempted to do the same now. XD *doesn't know what to do with his life*

 

anyways the only reason why I'm here is that I'm not *entirely* an ace and I have a thing for respirators. :ph34r: this is serious.

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Guest Lady.Lizard
9 minutes ago, UVB-76 said:

lol I'm tempted to do the same now. XD *doesn't know what to do with his life*

 

anyways the only reason why I'm here is that I'm not *entirely* an ace and I have a thing for respirators. :ph34r: this is serious.

I'm not entirely Ace either, and the results I got from the kink test were strangely accurate, thing is I have no idea what to do with them now :lol: 

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9 minutes ago, UVB-76 said:

lol I'm tempted to do the same now. XD *doesn't know what to do with his life*

 

anyways the only reason why I'm here is that I'm not *entirely* an ace and I have a thing for respirators. :ph34r: this is serious.

Do it! :D 

Also that's a cool one. Does that lead into breath play, or is it the aesthetic you like? (don't feel obligated to answer cause I know it's personal ^_^)

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J. van Deijck
3 minutes ago, Ricchan said:

Do it! :D 

Also that's a cool one. Does that lead into breath play, or is it the aesthetic you like? (don't feel obligated to answer cause I know it's personal ^_^)

aesthetic it seems, that's why I'm fond of cybergoths :D But that's quite strong :ph34r::D

 

4 minutes ago, Lady.Lizard said:

I'm not entirely Ace either, and the results I got from the kink test were strangely accurate, thing is I have no idea what to do with them now :lol: 

*is more tempted to try* :D

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Guest Lady.Lizard
On 27/03/2017 at 4:51 PM, Lady.Lizard said:

Hi - Lizard here.

Wondering how you knew you were kinky aces? I'm wondering if that might be what I am and sorta looking for other people's experiences.

I did bdsmtest.org and these are my results...I do feel they're accurate, but have no idea what to do about them :lol: 

 

91% Dominant 
83% Primal (Hunter) 
76% Vanilla 
74% Rigger 
56% Switch 
54% Master/Mistress 
40% Rope bunny 
39% Brat tamer 
38% Primal (Prey) 
28% Brat 
26% Sadist 
26% Submissive 
25% Experimentalist 
16% Masochist 
14% Degrader 
12% Exhibitionist 
11% Owner 
6% Voyeur 
5% Daddy/Mommy 
2% Ageplayer 
2% Degradee 
2% Girl/Boy 
2% Non-monogamist 
2% Pet 
2% Slave 

This is mine from back when - also, I literally just said the same thing twice about not knowing what to do with them. So I don't think having done the test helps with that :lol: 

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J. van Deijck

okay so did it.



== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
100% Switch 
79% Master/Mistress 
68% Owner 
66% Dominant 
66% Boy/Girl 
66% Masochist 
65% Rope bunny 
62% Sadist 
61% Submissive 
60% Primal (Hunter) 
59% Degrader 
53% Vanilla 
53% Rigger 
50% Degradee 
48% Experimentalist 
46% Pet 
46% Brat 
44% Primal (Prey) 
43% Daddy/Mommy 
40% Slave 
8% Ageplayer 
0% Exhibitionist 
0% Voyeur 
0% Non-monogamist 

 

...life is hard. XD

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Difficult to answer some of these questions as they talk about sexual stuff but I do find power dynamics can be fun to explore.

 

Anyway, results, mostly unsurprising.

 

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
98% Submissive 
79% Slave 
75% Pet 
73% Rope bunny 
69% Primal (Prey) 
65% Degradee 
60% Masochist 
54% Primal (Hunter) 
53% Experimentalist 
51% Brat 
50% Rigger 
42% Daddy/Mommy 
42% Vanilla 
37% Boy/Girl 
7% Sadist 
1% Ageplayer 
1% Dominant 
1% Master/Mistress 
0% Exhibitionist 
0% Voyeur 
0% Degrader 
0% Owner 
0% Non-monogamist 
0% Switch 
 

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J. van Deijck

...I feel weird now. XD

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I tried the test but the first questions were nothing for me and I didn't want to check "no" every time. *is sad

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== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
96% Vanilla 
72% Dominant 
63% Master/Mistress 
61% Primal (Hunter) 
59% Switch 
57% Rigger 
50% Submissive 
47% Brat 
45% Boy/Girl 
42% Daddy/Mommy 
41% Rope bunny 
41% Owner 
23% Experimentalist 
15% Primal (Prey) 
11% Masochist 
8% Sadist 
4% Degradee 
3% Slave 
2% Ageplayer 
1% Degrader 
1% Exhibitionist 
1% Pet 
1% Voyeur 
0% Non-monogamist 
 

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J. van Deijck
27 minutes ago, Antihero. said:

Why?:huh:

I don't know, I kind of expected such results :P let's say I always feel weird xD

 

9 minutes ago, Kelpie said:

I tried the test but the first questions were nothing for me and I didn't want to check "no" every time. *is sad

but if you did it, the results might be interesting :D

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I thought I'd give it another go... turns out I never posted my results on this thread in the first place :lol: 
 

Spoiler

100% Brat 
100% Rope bunny 
99% Submissive 
96% Degradee 
87% Experimentalist 
82% Masochist 
75% Pet 
66% Primal (Prey) 
65% Exhibitionist 
62% Rigger 
60% Primal (Hunter) 
59% Owner 
58% Sadist 
53% Slave 
51% Degrader 
50% Voyeur 
42% Daddy/Mommy 
42% Master/Mistress 
42% Vanilla 
35% Switch 
28% Dominant 
24% Ageplayer 
17% Boy/Girl 
0% Non-monogamist 

 

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31 minutes ago, UVB-76 said:

I don't know, I kind of expected such results :P let's say I always feel weird xD

 

but if you did it, the results might be interesting :D

Just for you! :D No idea what this about me now, though, other than that I'm definitely not dominant although I sometimes did play that role when requested. 

 

Spoiler

55% Vanilla 
54% Non-monogamist 
49% Experimentalist 
41% Masochist 
31% Slave 
27% Rope bunny 
19% Pet 
10% Degradee 
7% Switch 
4% Ageplayer 
2% Submissive 
1% Exhibitionist 
1% Brat 
1% Voyeur 
0% Primal (Hunter) 
0% Boy/Girl 
0% Rigger 
0% Primal (Prey) 
0% Daddy/Mommy 
0% Dominant 
0% Degrader 
0% Owner 
0% Master/Mistress 
0% Sadist 

 

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J. van Deijck

there are indeed some awesome results here! :D

 

*confesses* I have downloaded my result as pdf. :P

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== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
97% Ageplayer 
74% Switch 
68% Masochist 
65% Rope bunny 
64% Dominant 
62% Primal (Hunter) 
61% Degrader 
58% Rigger 
56% Submissive 
55% Sadist 
53% Vanilla 
53% Voyeur 
49% Experimentalist 
43% Daddy/Mommy 
41% Owner 
40% Exhibitionist 
37% Master/Mistress 
34% Boy/Girl 
24% Primal (Prey) 
14% Non-monogamist 
6% Slave 
6% Degradee 
3% Brat 
1% Pet 

 

 

Interesting...

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