Jump to content

Sexualization advice?


yomo

Recommended Posts

It really bothers me a lot of the time when people sexualize my body, especially my breasts since they're pretty big by most people's standards.

For example, I get glared at by my mother sometimes when I stretch in front of people. I don't even think about it, I just stretch because it feels good and I get glared at because it makes it seem like I'm trying to show them off. :/

I think this is why I prefer to wear slightly loose t-shirts a lot of the time, it takes the attention away from my breasts so I don't have to deal with rude people. But I don't want to have to feel this way...I just want to be treated with respect.

Does anyone have any advice regarding this?

Link to post
Share on other sites

For the most part sexual guys get stupid around breasts. It's one of those defining things that marks how different women are from men.

South Park did an episode about how primitive guys get around breasts.

I guess you just have to be careful in what kind of company you are. I adjusted myself in front of a female friend, and she commented that in certain circles that is considered really rude. At the time I would just do it when I feel a need, now I have to be aware that it could be considered sexual I guess.

I hope someone else shares a better opinion.

Link to post
Share on other sites
binary suns

wearing jackets, cardigans, sweaters, or something like that can help. Something thicker than t-shirt and tank top material, to cover the definition a little more.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's really difficult to deal with this problem, because sexualization of people's bodies is so ingrained in our society... I think it's a little sad that we have to cover up and wear baggy clothes to avoid stares, and then we get accused of being slobs (at least I saw that happen a few times: it's the usual trap, if a girl's dressed nicely, she's automatically objectivized, if she's wearing something comfy, she's not 'trying to be a proper girl' and shit).

I suppose when it comes to people closer to you, communication can be the key: telling people you're uncomfortable when they talk like that about your body. With strangers, it gets tricky... basically, I have no magical words of wisdom, just wanted to say you're not alone in this :) personally, I stopped giving a crap what looks people give me, I dress the way that makes ME happy, and I just ignore the looks, but I know the same approach most likely won't work for everyone. I had an acquaintance like that, he would always look at me in a way that always made me really uncomfortable, for YEARS really, until I figured out my sexuality and realized that it was the reason why I was uncomfortable - because I wasn't happy with people looking at me like a sexual object.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Touchofinsight

Honestly the only thing you can do is adapt to your environment. You can't dictate how people view or look at you or even their behavior to an extent. So the best thing you can do is get used to it and understand people are going to look at you, they are going to judge you sexually and non-sexually. Granted while we all have standards we think people "should" adhere to, its their freedom to behave as the person they are and that is going to include people living outside of your standards. That is part of living in a free society. Now there things you can do until you reach the point where your comfortable with your own body.

You can continue to wear lose clothing or even bind: http://www.wikihow.com/Bind-Your-Chest.

The ultimate goal is to get to a point where your comfortable enough to wear what you want and just be comfortable be being you. Don't let people shame you into thinking your body is something to be hidden etc. Its just you and guess what... its their problem. That's your mom's problem that she feels uncomfortable with you stretching. Same in the sense that it is your problem when people stare, because no one "makes you" feel a certain way... you respond to it. They may influence you but the person who has to be responsible for their feelings is themselves because we can't control everything. The only thing in this life we can truly control is ourselves.

Best of luck

Touch!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always been self-conscious about my body and to avoid people looking at me in a sexual way I've always worn clothes that do not flatter my figure (don't get me wrong I like my figure) although I would like to dress smartly sometimes without being objectified.

If I feel that is what someone is doing it makes me feel very uncomfortable and angry.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your responses so far everyone :) I really appreciate it!

I would say I'm comfortable with my body, but I think what I need to do, as it was said, is just be comfortable regarding other people's opinions of my body. Not to say I have to agree, especially if they're objectifying me, and in that context I feel like I have the right to tell them off if they're being rude. I guess I'm just tired of people being rude to me regarding my body (I've even had a person beg to touch me, and it was clearly for their own sexual pleasure).

Link to post
Share on other sites

My friend also has larger breasts. She found that, as weird and contradictory as it sounds, lower cut tops actually make her breasts look smaller. I don't know how comfortable you are in your body but it could be something you could try (maybe?). Obviously if you don't then stick to what you're comfortable with.

Maybe do a search about how to minimize your bust if it really bugs you.

I agree that it's not your problem if your mom gives you the stink eye whenever you stretch. You can't control what other people will say but you can control how you respond to it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone

I feel the same way sometimes and I usually feel better when I tell myself to be flattered rather than offended. Anything good is better than bad but it's hard not to feel like a sex object. I like the saying "You can look but you can't touch".

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...